DO NOT have kids until your sh!t is completely straight

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  • nokids
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 7:50am CDT
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    ANY issues you have with money, your career, your spose, etc will magnified 1000x once you have a kid - make sure that

    1) Your marriage is solid
    2) Your financial situation is solid (not just for you, but for the future human you plan on creating)
    3) you at least somewhat like your job

    In my expereince, if you're missing one of these three, you're in for a rough time - divorce will be a real possibility and your kids will end up hating you, you'll have to move into a 1bd close to the ghetto and date single moms, figuring out what the hell happened to your life.

    just my 2 cents. alternatively, just don't have kids.
  • Woke
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 8:25am CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    This is stupid because almost no one gets their **** straight until they have kids. Have you ever met a 30 year old with out parenting experience? Even when they have good careers they generally live a series of bad choices.
  • nokids
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 8:28am CDT
    re: Woke
    Forum Index
    Woke wrote:

    This is stupid because almost no one gets their **** straight until they have kids. Have you ever met a 30 year old with out parenting experience? Even when they have good careers they generally live a series of bad choices.


    It's a matter of minimizing risk and maximizing the chances of the success. In other words, it's a matter of degree. You're dumb.
  • You don’t need these things
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 8:58am CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    If you have a lot of parental support (rich, involved parents) then you don’t need these 3 things. I’ve seen it happen over and over.
  • otter
    registered
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 9:26am CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    nokids wrote:

    ANY issues you have with money, your career, your spose, etc will magnified 1000x once you have a kid - make sure that

    1) Your marriage is solid
    2) Your financial situation is solid (not just for you, but for the future human you plan on creating)
    3) you at least somewhat like your job

    In my expereince, if you're missing one of these three, you're in for a rough time - divorce will be a real possibility and your kids will end up hating you, you'll have to move into a 1bd close to the ghetto and date single moms, figuring out what the hell happened to your life.

    just my 2 cents. alternatively, just don't have kids.


    20 years ago when we had our two kids:

    1) Our marriage was solid (still is)
    2) We lived on very little money
    3) Hated my job and still do

    We lived modestly, I started a company and worked really hard. My wife stayed at home. Used a library card to go to the zoo, aquarium, etc. with kids.

    Both kids had a great education in our public schools and are attending highly rated private colleges. We are doing better financially but are having trouble like 99% of the population with tuition expenses.

    At least for us if we had waited my wife would have been established in her career which she currently is now and we would have had more trouble with one of us not working.
  • redux
    registered
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 9:30am CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    Seriously, how many people who actually have the s straight would deliberately ruin it all by having kids? Or by getting married?
  • Hayduke
    registered
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 9:43am CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    nokids wrote:

    Woke wrote:

    This is stupid because almost no one gets their **** straight until they have kids. Have you ever met a 30 year old with out parenting experience? Even when they have good careers they generally live a series of bad choices.


    It's a matter of minimizing risk and maximizing the chances of the success. In other words, it's a matter of degree. You're dumb.


    wow that quote is right out of freshman business major. "minimize risk..." lol. Life is risk, it is not a business opportunity. Those who are not ready for life spend their entire life wrapping themselves in bubblewrap.
  • bad op
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 9:50am CDT
    re: nokids
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    bad advice, op, as it would lead to humanity's extinction
  • flagop
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 10:13am CDT
    re: nokids
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    Hi Flagpole!
  • The dad of Christmas future
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 10:35am CDT
    re: nokids
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    No one ever has their sh!t sorted. Sh!t is a moving target, and if you forget that you are in for big problems.

    You must be ready for change. A lot will happen very quickly.

    Better to make sure you have realistic expectations of what kids can be like, otherwise the disappointment could destroy you. Spend time around them. Get to know what really goes on in families from an adult perspective.

    Because it is war, and who you are today will not survive.

    They are not tiny adults and you will be living in child-world with them for many years. They are not you and have their own individual needs. You may have very specific plans for your life which include them. Be ready to set a lot of that aside and embrace your role as a shepherd of tiny people.

    Being the father of a special needs child has changed my perspective on parenting. It is not something anyone plans for.
  • No thanks!
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 11:00am CDT
    re: Hayduke
    Forum Index
    Hayduke wrote:

    nokids wrote:

    Woke wrote:

    This is stupid because almost no one gets their **** straight until they have kids. Have you ever met a 30 year old with out parenting experience? Even when they have good careers they generally live a series of bad choices.


    It's a matter of minimizing risk and maximizing the chances of the success. In other words, it's a matter of degree. You're dumb.


    wow that quote is right out of freshman business major. "minimize risk..." lol. Life is risk, it is not a business opportunity. Those who are not ready for life spend their entire life wrapping themselves in bubblewrap.

    Some risks are worth taking. Others are not. For instance, if you take a chance and pick the wrong major or job, you can still back out and find another one.

    But if you take a risk on having kids, you're in for 18+ years of pain.
  • another point
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 11:07am CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    nokids wrote:

    ANY issues you have with money, your career, your spose, etc will magnified 1000x once you have a kid - make sure that

    1) Your marriage is solid
    2) Your financial situation is solid (not just for you, but for the future human you plan on creating)
    3) you at least somewhat like your job

    In my expereince, if you're missing one of these three, you're in for a rough time - divorce will be a real possibility and your kids will end up hating you, you'll have to move into a 1bd close to the ghetto and date single moms, figuring out what the hell happened to your life.

    just my 2 cents. alternatively, just don't have kids.

    That is correct, but you forgot one point:

    4) You've already enjoyed your independence and freedom. You've traveled the world, are too old to get anymore PRs, and gotten reasonably good at all the skills you ever wanted to pick up, whether it's skiing, mountain climbing, programming, or learning a new language or musical instrument.
  • Evolution always wins.
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 11:12am CDT
    re: redux
    Forum Index
    redux wrote:

    Seriously, how many people who actually have the s straight would deliberately ruin it all by having kids? Or by getting married?


    This^
  • RejectRunner
    registered
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 11:14am CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    nokids wrote:

    1) Your mileage is solid
  • 2100
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 11:15am CDT
    re: bad op
    Forum Index
    bad op wrote:
    bad advice, op, as it would lead to humanity's extinction

    No, but it would solve our overpopulation problem. BTW, if you're 29 or older, you may not feel old, but you're older than half of the world's population. There are simply too many kids.

    Also, if we ever get to the point of population decline (doubtful unless there's a pandemic, worldwide nuclear war, or other catastrophe), we can work on more productive things like creating robots to do the work for us and solving the aging problem.
  • 4:10 online, 5:40 on the track
    registered
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 11:21am CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    Finances dictate all, marriage too.

    1. Don't get married if you are not financially ready.

    2. Then, don't have kids if you are not financially ready.

    This is mathematics "order of operations" but most do it wrong and then get the equation (their life) answer incorrect too. People lead with their genitals and hearts and the brain is dragged behind, to varying distances, or it is not there at all. If you do things correctly, you not only start happy, you stay happy and always within your means...

    Most families live with debt and are stuck in jobs / lives they are not happy with because they wrote checks their arses couldn't cash..
  • some wisdom
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 11:49am CDT
    re: RejectRunner
    Forum Index
    RejectRunner wrote:

    nokids wrote:

    1) Your mileage is solid

    You want your cumulative mileage to be solid (both on your feet and on your car), not your daily mileage. Do those 100 MPW weeks, set those PRs, go on long road trips and hikes BEFORE you have kids. Have kids only after you're willing to give all of those things up.
  • freedom
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 11:58am CDT
    re: Evolution always wins.
    Forum Index
    Evolution always wins. wrote:

    redux wrote:

    Seriously, how many people who actually have the s straight would deliberately ruin it all by having kids? Or by getting married?


    This^

    Exactly. I'm making $85K/year and feel like I'm filthy rich. I don't even think twice about making a purchase unless it's something big like a house. I'm far from frugal and don't remember the last time I've looked for good deals or used coupons at a supermarket. Oh, and did I mention that I'm on track to retire by age 50?

    Meanwhile, I know quite a few people who are making a lot more than what I'm getting, and it seems like they're always living paycheck to paycheck. They complain about debt, grumble about their financial difficulties, and barely put anything in their retirement accounts.

    The difference? I'm single, they're married with kids.
  • Jah boi
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 12:01pm CDT
    re: nokids
    Forum Index
    My plan is to:

    - find a job/profession/business that I enjoy (currently don't enjoy mine at all right now even though it pays decently).
    -enjoy the city life, go out to lots of shows/events/meetups
    -travel, take some time off in between jobs and just live in a few cities around the world
    -get near fluent in a few languages
    -date around with lots of girls, see what different feminine energy is like
    -find and hone the things that i want to be "good" at
    -travel with my dad while he still can (turning 64 soon)

    Currently almost 26. This should take me to early-mid 30's. At that point I should be in shape and stable enough with enough money that I can pick one of the girls I dated before, or find a new younger one that is great and can be molded into an even better girl. Date for 3-7 years, then get married in late 30's.
  • Poverty Family
    2 years ago 03/30/2018 12:19pm CDT
    re: Jah boi
    Forum Index
    People that live in poverty with kids are happy. They get tons of assistance. It's the lower class working people that struggle.