Question for the guys about dating etiquette

I'm definitely sympathetic of social awkwardness here...

With my GF on the first date (dinner thing) I paid completely, she did offer but I, like most men I know, dislike the idea of the woman paying ESPECIALLY first date.

Second date (lunch after a track meet) we did split, but her meal was more expensive than mine so I insisted 50/50. I think she appreciated she was contributing.

Third date (dinner again) I paid for the main dinner, but she paid for little snacks at food stalls throughout the night (she paid much less than what I did, but she appreciated contributing)

Fourth date (bowling + lunch) I paid for bowling, she paid for lunch (which was much less)

Fifth date (beach) she did have to drive an hour to get to my city (I'd been driving to her's previously) So I paid for everything with my reasoning being she already paid for fuel.

So there's a rundown of my situation to give you some precedent so you can make a good decision. I can't say exactly what you should do, but that's what is working for us.

Best of luck!

Thank you!

Any suggestions for the proper etiquette in this situation, given the response?

pop_pop!_v2.2.1 wrote:

John Utah wrote:Got it, but why would she go on a date if she has no romantic interest in the guy?

LOL. Because he's fun to be around, but not in a sexual way Is every single woman a sexual object to you? Probably not.

It's America, 2018. Women are allowed to have male friends. Or, at least they do in my metropolis.

I would call a male and a female going out one on one to dinner a date.

xc chick wrote:

Thank you!

Any suggestions for the proper etiquette in this situation, given the response?

You asked what you owe, so you implied you were going to pay, so you should follow through, or discuss it.

Probably he planned to pay, but when you asked what you owed, he answered, so you kind of set that path in motion. Which is fine.

My suggestion is not to worry about it until during the date, or after the show, and then try to handle it an a flexible manner, cause the guy might be uncertain as to what you think about dates and paying too.

For example, you could say, in person, "About the tickets. Would you like me to pay you my share, or hey, I could pick up something next time". Obviously, only take this approach if you're open to seeing him again, but if you are, it gives him nice feedback and a pretty relaxed pair of choices.

You already know he's probably not too chauvinistic, because he didn't treat you as out of order for asking what you owe.

But I really tend to agree with the earlier poster that there aren't real "proper etiquette" rules around most of this. It is an opportunity for you all to get to know each other, and see if you can negotiate dating and paying for stuff in a mutually comfortable manner.

In general, it is likely to be more comfortable if you can try to stay relaxed about it, and tend to be open about it without being threatening. It's okay to be somewhat nervous, and it's okay if he's somewhat nervous; it might even give you another topic to laugh about over time.

start with just discussing it with him openly. Better to start early to establish an honest way with each other. If either of you cant take that, then a serious relationship would not be advisable either way

That makes sense. However, I was thinking of replying and asking him what his paypal was to send it to him.

I feel like it would be weird to not address that until the actual date a few days later, since I did ask. What do you think?

This is such an obvious troll. But credit to the OP for a credible embodiment of the dependent, uncritical, neurotic millenial stereotype that we all love to hate!

dont care if its a troll post or not but 10/10 on this one. very entertaining guys

xc chick wrote:

Any suggestions for the proper etiquette in this situation, given the response?

Kill yourself.

How 'bout that?

And thanks "anoldermarriedguy" for giving genuine advice.

This can't be the worst/most socially awkward thread on here can it?

This is actually kind of cute.

Okay I'm thinking I'll say "Thanks! Do you have a paypal address? Or would you prefer in person?"

As long as you zuck his dink, he probably won't care either way.

You can buy the next outing

You're asking an awkward middle distance runner who fluked themselves to a sprinter girlfriend completely out of my league. Sorry I got nothing.

xc chick wrote:

Okay I'm thinking I'll say "Thanks! Do you have a paypal address? Or would you prefer in person?"

Don't do this.

If you asked "How much do I owe you?", and he responded "The tickets were $X", then he's accepted your offer to pay, so it's too late to back out. Just keep it simple either buy his food/drink/parking/whatever until you're approximately even, or give him cash at the game. Don't draw it out asking for Paypal or Venmo details if you don't already have them.

If he refuses your offer to reimburse at the game, then you can say thanks and leave it there (and if you want a 3rd date, you can offer to plan & pay for that).

Disclaimer: I'm not actually in a position to dole out dating advice.

Ditto

Dated lots of girls in the past and much more appreciated this response myself.

Ugh too late I already did.