Question for the guys about dating etiquette

Serious answer: From an etiquette standpoint, if you invite to do something or go somewhere it is understood that the person making the invitation is paying.

If you are dating or get to know someone better you should be able to talk about who is paying for what and the relationship will take on its own dynamic. With no other history or relationship, whoever makes an invitation pays:

http://emilypost.com/advice/group-restaurant-invitations/

Of course not. A 2nd date in as many days is unexpected. The one who asked is the one who pays.

If he pays, he expects you to be rocking and rolling after the concert.

If you pay for your ticket, then you won't owe him your soul.

xc chick wrote:

That is, ask "How much do I owe you"

If you are putting him in the friendzone but otherwise enjoy his company, then be honest and direct with him. When the opportunity arises, show some gratitude and offer to cover your half of the evening. If he declines and he's a good guy, then there are no strings attached and accept it like a gift.

If he might be more than just friendzone material, then, plan something you'd like to do and make it something that costs about the same.

If you are unclear about your own feelings, then be honest and direct and offer to split the evening towards the end of the evening.

I know it's not easy, but try to be clear and honest so he understands. This sums up most guys under 25.

/

So would it be weird/awkward to thank him and then say how much do I owe you?

No, I am genuinely interested in this guy. I am happy to offer to pay for the next thing or split along the way, but I am not sure how to respond to his text/am not sure if it would be weird to just thank him but not acknowledge he bought the tickets/splitting.

Take him for dinner or buy him something at the show

xc chick wrote:

No, I am genuinely interested in this guy. I am happy to offer to pay for the next thing or split along the way, but I am not sure how to respond to his text/am not sure if it would be weird to just thank him but not acknowledge he bought the tickets/splitting.

You already got an answer. Under no circumstance should you offer to pay or ask how much you owe him. He will perceive it as you trying to make the relationship platonic.

Say thanks and the next one is on you. After the show, not before. That's it.

He asked you and got tickets. He wants to pay. Buy him a beer if you want to make a gesture. Signed a girl

Ugh I took the first guys advice about asking how much I owe him. I'm genuinely interested in him, how do I salvage this? Either way the date is still on.

xc chick wrote:

Ugh I took the first guys advice about asking how much I owe him. I'm genuinely interested in him, how do I salvage this? Either way the date is still on.

Easy, just make sure and give him some oral attention that night and he will know you haven’t friend zoned him.

oh no babes what is you doing? At this point there’s no recovering. Just tell him you went on a nerdy message board and asked what normal social etiquette is to a bunch of socially inept nerds that told you to offer to pay your way. Honesty is the best policy

xc chick wrote:

Ugh I took the first guys advice about asking how much I owe him. I'm genuinely interested in him, how do I salvage this? Either way the date is still on.

Why are you saying "ugh" and "salvage"? Did he say something more about it? The date is on, so its all good, no?

How old are you btw?

A Masculine Guy wrote:

A woman paying is equivalent to castrating a guy. The woman should never pay. There would be no reason for guys to exist if you do.

Nice and I appreciate it. I have to say, even though I could pay and be equal about it the fact you still have the chivalry attitude, I would date in you in a heart beat?

xc chick wrote:

So is the general consensus that a guy would find it favorable to ask if he wants to split?

It might be ok to ask, but if he accepts your money never see him again. No joke. Not kidding.

What women want? wrote:

A Masculine Guy wrote:

A woman paying is equivalent to castrating a guy. The woman should never pay. There would be no reason for guys to exist if you do.

Nice and I appreciate it. I have to say, even though I could pay and be equal about it the fact you still have the chivalry attitude, I would date in you in a heart beat?

Chivalry is utter horsesh1t. These guys are manipulators and abusers. Only dumb women fall for this. Then they discover, these guys are control-freak abusers...soon the wailing begins, OMG he's violent! Controlling! Abusive! Helllp...etc. Fairy tale princes are emotionally immature psychotic freaks. Real women who aren't gold-diggers or pathetic princess fantasists share burdens/costs/investments.

A real answer for a change wrote:

Serious answer: From an etiquette standpoint, if you invite to do something or go somewhere it is understood that the person making the invitation is paying.

If you are dating or get to know someone better you should be able to talk about who is paying for what and the relationship will take on its own dynamic. With no other history or relationship, whoever makes an invitation pays:

http://emilypost.com/advice/group-restaurant-invitations/

Do not listen to this person. It might be ok for the woman to pay every once in a while, but the guy should be paying the vast majority of the time. If your “dynamic” is that you are paying 50% of the time then realize that you are not dating a man.

pop_pop!_v2.2.1 wrote:

xc chick wrote:

That is, ask "How much do I owe you"

If you are putting him in the friendzone but otherwise enjoy his company, then be honest and direct with him. When the opportunity arises, show some gratitude and offer to cover your half of the evening. If he declines and he's a good guy, then there are no strings attached and accept it like a gift.

If he might be more than just friendzone material, then, plan something you'd like to do and make it something that costs about the same.

If you are unclear about your own feelings, then be honest and direct and offer to split the evening towards the end of the evening.

I know it's not easy, but try to be clear and honest so he understands. This sums up most guys under 25.

/

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYHkbOugcD0

There should never be stings attached to payment for dates unless you are a whore, which you are likely not. There are zero obligations. Dudes should pay the vast majority of the time. That’s just how it is.

I think most dudes would appreciate a home cooked meal, or maybe even a small gift (a nice shirt or something when things get further down the line) vs a girl paying for a meal at a restaurant.

truthbadger wrote:

What women want? wrote:

Nice and I appreciate it. I have to say, even though I could pay and be equal about it the fact you still have the chivalry attitude, I would date in you in a heart beat?

Chivalry is utter horsesh1t. These guys are manipulators and abusers. Only dumb women fall for this. Then they discover, these guys are control-freak abusers...soon the wailing begins, OMG he's violent! Controlling! Abusive! Helllp...etc. Fairy tale princes are emotionally immature psychotic freaks. Real women who aren't gold-diggers or pathetic princess fantasists share burdens/costs/investments.

Whatever cheapskate ?...definitely not a gold digger either, you pompous arse!