Do people who stayed married actual love each other?

I cant speak for anyone else, but its worked for me. Still in love and its been 34 years so far. Maybe it helps that we share some interests, notably family, outdoors, travelling, hiking, sailing, running (or what passes for running now) etc. Do we ever get annoyed with each other? Yes, but a tiny fraction of the whole experience.

lifequestions wrote:

So back to my questions, are there people who actually stay in love for years on end? or are these people just practicing a life of tolerance and sacrifice?

Why can't it be both? My parents made incredible sacrifices for each other during their 40yr marriage - they died just a few months apart - and their affection for each other never waned.

I guess you just haven't found that right person yet. Or maybe you never will. Maybe that's not your version of love.

I'm nearly 10 years into my marriage, and we've been together a little longer than that. The love is definitely still there, but at the same time it has also changed. No idea where it will be in the future.

One thing I dislike about our culture is this idea that long lasting relationships are the gold standard. As if everyone is capable of having them/finding that one person. I don't think having one seriously long relationship is any better than having 6 or more serious relationships of shorter duration. Different. That's all.

OP, it sounds like you are being true to who you are and what you want. Kudos for that. I'm sure it will impact your daughters in a positive way.

1/10. Everybody knows the answer to this. Come on.

Ummmm

Your post is interesting.

You paint a Very beautiful picture that may actually be ugly.

How ugly?

Like this ...

The Movie the Red Pill shows a divorced man that fought for his Son but lost. His son turned into a Fat Slob because of the divorced mom. The fat lazy mom on her 5 days of the week feed the kid Junk food. With no exercise.

http://theredpillmovie.com/

By the way, Cassie Jaye to me is Uneducated and an Attention seeker.

She allowed edited clips in her documentary of her Rump. Now I have to hand it to her for not becoming fat and ugly.

She tries hard to be seen as smart.

But at least she tries.

Now back to you. You can "fall out of love" if you choose with someone but Love is doing things.

Love isn't a feeling. If you do things for someone and they do things for you then they know you, care for you and love you.

But I'm not attacking you. The Women out there are GArbage, Like NAsty. Sometimes they super nasty and want you to accept then when they come to you with no Skills.

Birth Control Pills but No Skills.

Can you cook and egg?

No.

Some women that I know with Masters Degrees from Top Universities can't cook a damn EGG.

I learned how to cook an egg at age 10 because I had no parents. I had no one practically. Sure now and again I had a box of macaroni but that was it.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. You may be loving to your daughter but will their mom allow them to be sexually molested or allow them to turn into sluts?

You have no control over that.

Because you love women and then Fall out of love with them. You painted a pretty picture.

I control my woman. best to you.

vivalarepublica wrote:

1/10. Everybody knows the answer to this. Come on.

Gotta keep ya pimp hand strong, broth-ah!

Dominate! Show her who's boss!

lifequestions wrote:

If all people are practicing tolerance, why do they do it? Is it economical/financial?

Been unhappily married for around 12 years and now I just tolerate the situation. Economical and financial reasons are the main reason for me. Divorce is a killer financially. Another factor is that I have a 9-year old child and I feel that it would mess him up psychologically were we to divorce right now.

Some do. Some don't.

Next

Of course each situation is different.

What some may perceive as love fading is actually love changing.

The love changes from being this infatuation to a bond that gets stronger over time.

You may love what you have accomplished together.

unhappily married wrote:

lifequestions wrote:

If all people are practicing tolerance, why do they do it? Is it economical/financial?

Been unhappily married for around 12 years and now I just tolerate the situation. Economical and financial reasons are the main reason for me. Divorce is a killer financially. Another factor is that I have a 9-year old child and I feel that it would mess him up psychologically were we to divorce right now.

Don't stay together for your kids. (Or financial reasons, but that's not what I want to talk about here.) You're just kicking the problem down the road, and it might end up being a worse problem. I wish I had ended my marriage while my kids were younger than when they were teenagers. My youngest was 11 when I got divorced, and he accepted it and adjusted to it much better than the older kids.

Maybe that's just your disposition, and you certainly wouldn't be alone in that regard. Think about kids who get really attached to a single toy for their whole (young) lives versus those who play with one then get bored and move on to the next after not much time. 13 years together with my wife (a little less than half of that married - currently with 1 kid) and I'm still obsessed (and that's an understatement).

Do it now wrote:

unhappily married wrote:

Been unhappily married for around 12 years and now I just tolerate the situation. Economical and financial reasons are the main reason for me. Divorce is a killer financially. Another factor is that I have a 9-year old child and I feel that it would mess him up psychologically were we to divorce right now.

Don't stay together for your kids. (Or financial reasons, but that's not what I want to talk about here.) You're just kicking the problem down the road, and it might end up being a worse problem. I wish I had ended my marriage while my kids were younger than when they were teenagers. My youngest was 11 when I got divorced, and he accepted it and adjusted to it much better than the older kids.

I afree with doitnow. We separated when the girls were 1 and 4 years old. My girls are perfectly adjusted. A lot of older people tell me they wish they did it early but rather suffeed through only to have the kids take sides when they were teenagers and in their twenties.

Some do. Some don't. Situations are different.

However, there's a lot of truth in this for a comic strip:

http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2018/01/21

Raising kids is tuff job, we made it.

Been married 33 year's and I still love her.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

ROFLOL ROFLOL ROFLOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love is not just a noun referring to a state of infatuation; love is also a verb referring to an act of the will. Infatuation can be incredible but I find I've only had it a few times in my life; willing love can also be incredible but it often requires work.

Tell me you are 17 years old

Not judging but maybe you are gay? Violin, sewing and baking etc.

Yeah, they are girls but their mom has them 50% too.

The idea of marrying for love only came into prominence in the 19th century. Prior to that arranged marriages were all the norm and served society quite well.

10,000 years of social evolution and only 2% of that dealt with love...