Etiquette question regarding lack of thank you

Since you gave her a card and a nice present For Christmas and she gave you nothing, a written thank you would have been the considerate and thoughtful thing for her to do.

I would feel different if you gave her a present for her birthday. In that case there was no occasion for mutual giving. A verbal thank you would be fine.

Christmas is different. She could have brought in something but chose to bring in nothing. In this context, a thank you note would be a decent thing to do.

Maybe because you are a temp, she might feel relationship building is not important. Some people are like that.

Perhaps she is not Christian and was offended by you pushing your religion on her.

I think you should use this opportunity to educate someone who obviously does not know the proper etiquette when one receives a gift. You should politely talk to her about the gift and that how the proper response from her would be a handwritten thank you note.

Also, let her know how you feel about the workload and culture at this workplace.

It's your opportunity to teach the new generation.

Too be honest she probably feels weird that you got her anything at all. I wouldn't write a thank you note in her shoes either though. No one does that anymore and it just creates an awkward little back and forth between you two that sets precident for future occasions.

If you gave it to her in person and she thanked you then, then there is no need for a written thank you. In fact, I would consider it overkill. If you had sent it to her then she should have sent a note.

You're one of those douchebags who obsesses over "etiquette." If you give a gift, you should not feel entitled to get one in return. Sure it was a nice deed. She probably appreciated it more than you think, but she probably expresses her appreciation in other ways or struggles to express it altogether than what you expect to see. Not everyone thinks like you do, buddy. You probably got her the present because you fantasize about touching her anyways. She doesnt want you and thinks it's creepy that you got a married woman a gift. You probably had genuinely good meaning with the gift, but again, she doesn't think like you and does not express her feelings the way you expect either. Stop obsessing (obvious as you posted on PR) over something so little.

I hope you included the following words on the card:

"I believe it's pronounced minaj a twahhh"

No problem known with me wrote:

You're one of those douchebags who obsesses over "etiquette." If you give a gift, you should not feel entitled to get one in return. Sure it was a nice deed. She probably appreciated it more than you think, but she probably expresses her appreciation in other ways or struggles to express it altogether than what you expect to see. Not everyone thinks like you do, buddy. You probably got her the present because you fantasize about touching her anyways. She doesnt want you and thinks it's creepy that you got a married woman a gift. You probably had genuinely good meaning with the gift, but again, she doesn't think like you and does not express her feelings the way you expect either. Stop obsessing (obvious as you posted on PR) over something so little.

Your post is way off the mark. I would agree with you if it was birthday present. She chose to bring in nothing for Christmas, the least she could do is write a thank you note after she received something. She is not 13 she is an adult and ought to show some appreciation. Its sound like he is busting his rear end making things easy for her. Retired temps, don't have to work that hard, but he is.

It seems like because the guy is old, some are jumping to the creep line.

Be the teacher wrote:

I think you should use this opportunity to educate someone who obviously does not know the proper etiquette when one receives a gift. You should politely talk to her about the gift and that how the proper response from her would be a handwritten thank you note.

Also, let her know how you feel about the workload and culture at this workplace.

It's your opportunity to teach the new generation.

I have tried to avoid acting like her teacher, but really I could teach her. I was hoping for an easy low stress retirement gig just to help out. I even indicated that to her when she was giving me clearly the tasks that are hard and stressful. We are both administrators and its her company, she knows the people. People see me taking control of new projects and they start coming to me for other things. The odd thing is that I'm only doing the tasks she tells me to do. And, I don't want to do them but someone does need to do them.

She claims that people do what I say more than her because I am a male. I just work hard and I am very nice to people.

I could teach her much.

You should give her an F You card. Typical self centered, unappreciative, millennial twat.

So given the fact that she is basically taking advantage of you to do all the hard work that she doesn't want to do, do you really expect she was going to get you a gift or even write a thank you? Geez she probably mentioned she liked wine hoping you would get her some, which you did!

Listen very closely. Take it as work and nothing else. You're getting a little to personal with everything, but this is not a personal attack against you.

Do your assignments or tasks, and then be done and gone with everything. Do not worry about the characters or personalities of coworkers. Do not try to understand anything personal or that has nothing to do with the job. You entered a personal realm with that stuff, but it is not too late to exit.

Ahe should, but she won’t.

You might get a Thank You Text or Insta, tho.

This guy sounds absolutely insufferable. You are doing your job. If you are extra unpleasant for people always judging their and doing things for manipulation, not genuine interest and spontaneity, I'm sure she and everyone else is designing to minimize interactions with you. She probably intentionally did not respond much so you would stop this weirdness around her. There is no way in the universe a 30 year old is writing a f**ing thank you letter after a christmas gift. You're more likely to receive a telegram.

You're one of those people who is rejected by an advance and acts like the person is impolite for not finding you interesting or attractive. She is an adult who has a job. You could do something fun to make her life more interesting, or you could be some weirdo giving her an awkward encounter and then expecting an errand. "Nice" guys who do this stuff and then act furious when people do not reciprocate are the worst. She is an adult who can take care of herself. You are just boring.

If some old guy started working with me and being super uncool and then started giving me gifts, I would hope he leaves as soon as possible because that is weird AF.

OP is harassment claim bait.

Interesting post but that has never been the way I worked or managed people. It's not that I did stuff after work with employees but during work hours they knew I cared and respected them. I feel they felt the same toward me. Even as a temp, I have connected with some people here.

I am getting much flack here from what I am guessing are young people. I honestly am not sure why. I don't act like a know-it-all and really try to build her up to her employees. I defer to her in front of others, although people seem to be directing questions to me When we are both together. When I go I want to leave things good for her.

Maybe the way I was hired and brought in has my coworker in a mood. I am only here for 5 months and the day before I came she switched offices and gave me the small one. My office seemed stripped down too. She probably will have to move back when the women I replaced comes back.

I guess it's more than just writing a note of appreciation.

I'm almost 40, so neither young or old. Short version: When I give gifts I just give them and don't expect anything in return, even gratitude.

Long version: I generally think it's in inappropriate to provide gifts to co-workers in the office. I'm in the minority on this probably, but it sets up a whole slew of minor and major problems, like where's my thank you?. I am working in a group now that provides small gifts at Xmas and after returning from exotic vacations. This is nice but makes me uncomfortable at times since I've only been at my new job 5 months. I'm also pretty much an atheist (I'm sure I'll get slammed for this), so Xmas isn't a big thing w/ me. That said, I don't stress about it that much, and I always say thank you.

Thank-you notes are sent sometimes to family/friends for other occasions. I'm actually big on mailing cards and all that, just not to co-workers unless they were throwing me a shower or another party of some sort.

I used to email thank-yous after job interviews. However, they made absolutely no difference on whether I got the job or not, and I just felt like I was clogging up their inboxes. Mailed thank-yous aren't quick enough. Nonetheless, after I got this last job, I did send a thorough email thanking my now boss for the opportunity. (Sidebar: I learned that I was the only interviewee to wear a suit. For a financial services firm!!)

Dear Silas,

Thanks for the wine. My husband is a bad drunk. He drank the bottle himself and became belligerent. I spent the holiday crying.

Becky.