daughter is becoming dangerously fat, what do I do?

pics?

Shoebacca wrote:

1/10 is the correct troll grading

I don't buy that health-conscious parents would let a 4'11" child reach 200 pounds and not have already talked to her about it a million times.

As I said, we're trying to be as tolerant and anti-authoritarian as we can be, but things got out of hand. We also know parents who tried to force their ideals on their children, with truly horrible consequences ranging from depression to truly antisocial behaviour.

Dude, you need to be her parent, not her friend. Stop trying to tread lightly around her feelings. You can exert authority in a loving way. Do it.

Step one is the pediatrician and also go see a pediatric dietitian. You want to be sure there isn't a medical reason for the weight gain. Step two is counseling with a mental health professional with experience with eating disorders and body image issues. Step three, which will be in conjunction with step two, is to never ever say anything about your daughter's weight or body image. My mother used to give my sister a hard time about her weight. She wasn't fat, but was a little doughy and liked to eat junk food. My sister blew up like a balloon after she had kids and let her kids put on a lot of weight. She bought into the no fat shaming positive body image thing in a big way until her doctor told her she was very close to developing type 2 diabetes. That finally woke her up and she dropped about 40 lbs just by cutting out ice cream sandwiches at 2 pm and going for walks, etc. Point is that with girls, saying anything negative about weight is a prescription for disaster. Also, assuming that there is an emotional issue at the heart of this, it is up to your daughter to find her way through her eating problem through her own empowerment and not because her parents forced her to get fit. The former will result in a lifetime of good health and positive body image and the latter will only yield a short term weight loss that will end up a life long emotional struggle.

Deer Concerned, Since you said finding the condom wrappers didn't bother you, maybe you should suggest some things that would be more aerobic than just laying there like a (big ole redwood) log. Suggest pegging, that should get her blood flowing a bit and burn some calories

Hope this helps!

wtf is goin on

concerned father wrote:

Part of me thinks it's a kind of protest against me and her mother's fit lifestyle, which we however never forced on her. We try to be as tolerant as we can be

That's crazy, and a major mistake. Stop being so tolerant.

As her parents you're supposed to show and guide her to the right way to do things.

Otherwise, the wrong people will do that and will show her the wrong ways. You need to put a stop to that now.

Besides the obvious health issues, we're also concerned about her outlook in romantic relationsships. With her being fat and having short, dyed hair, I think she'll never find an adequate partner in her life.

That's simply a symptom of the greater issue, you being too tolerant, and not showing her the right way to do things.

Being too tolerant often comes off as not being caring, and I see this as being a direct relationship, i.e. if you don't care

then she'll find other people - usually lowlifes scraping the bottom of the barrel - who will show some interest in her.

Shoebacca wrote:

1/10 is the correct troll grading. I don't buy that health-conscious parents would let a 4'11" child reach 200 pounds and not have already talked to her about it a million times.

I agree. If true, this is extreme neglect on the part of the parents, and is abusive to the child.

concerned poster wrote:

wtf is goin on

When you post without a registered screen name on this site.....well, people copy and paste your username and then make up fakes posts in the thread saying ridiculous, often quite funny, things.

concerned father wrote:

Okay, so the above poster was not me.

My daughter is probably 5'5" and 140 lbs.

Whoops I should have read the whole thread. Sorry about that.

My other comments still apply, stop being so tolerant and show her you're interested in her welfare.

I'm not sure her exact weight, but when she walked in front of the TV I missed the second half of the Packers game. I tried to weigh her but your scale said To Be Continued. Cleanliness is becoming an issue because when she showers her feet don't get wet. I tried to get her into track, but when she hauls ass she has to make two trips. Food is getting expensive too. I took her to McDonald's yesterday and they had to call Wendy's for backup. She also can't keep up with her friends on social media because every time she uploads a selfie I run out of data and Instragram crashes.

Thanks for your advice. Beside some mild form of acne and hypertrichosis she hasn't any health issues. We even (secretely) tried to test her urine for pregnancy.

Because of our religion we don't believe in mental health professionals, but each to his own, I guess.

My wife suggested taking our daughter with us on our attempt to climb K1 next year, to force some kind of (her words) "break through experience", but I'm unsure about that. I'm not even sure if there are contraptions that can support her weight.

concerned father wrote:

Okay, so the above poster was not me.

My daughter is probably 5'5" and 140 lbs. I'm wondering if it's her boyfriend that is doing this or telling her to eat more. He told me once he prefers women with some curves to him and once, while I was getting gas in the car, he said "I can see why black guys like their women with big butts". I didn't really think anything of it until now.

The other day, in her car, I found empty Twinkie wrappers and a stash of Rolos in the center console. I didn't really care about the condom wrappers as it means she is just practicing safe sex, but seriously, is she just trying to hide her food cravings from my wife and I?

Should I be concerned?

My guess? Your daughter purposely poked holes in those condoms and she is pregnant and gaining weight. Expect the guy to dump her. Congrats on helping to raise another kid.

Age?

She's 14. BTW, ignore the obvious impostors. I didn't post anything about condoms or racist stuff about black peoples preferences.

Do you run? Why are you posting this question here?

You say you and your wife are avid climbers and eat healthy, count calories, but don't mention anything about running. You're going to take her to climb K2 to get her fit???? Wouldn't she need to get fit first?

This and the religious objections stuff you threw in on page 2 leads me to think... Troll.

concerned father wrote:

Besides the obvious health issues, we're also concerned about her outlook in romantic relationsships. With her being fat and having short, dyed hair, I think she'll never find an adequate partner in her life.

If serious, what you should really be worried about is the fact that you just described the appearance of 90% of the SJW population.

As she gets older, she will most likely blame the "patriarchy" for her inability to find a good man.

Be VERY concerned!

I'm not happy about raising a pump and dump.

future Marxist loser wrote:

concerned father wrote:

Besides the obvious health issues, we're also concerned about her outlook in romantic relationsships. With her being fat and having short, dyed hair, I think she'll never find an adequate partner in her life.

If serious, what you should really be worried about is the fact that you just described the appearance of 90% of the SJW population.

As she gets older, she will most likely blame the "patriarchy" for her inability to find a good man.

Be VERY concerned!

You raised a valid issue. I'm strictly monitoring my families internet-traffic, and the only concerning webpages my daughter visits are Tumbler and those of some more prominent HAES-activists. She isn't lesbian or transgendered(god forbid).