Haven't seen ex in few years but now we're going to the same school, how to react if we do encounter each other?

What is your field of study?

Got to love Letsrun for immediately jumping to conclusions, telling me to "get over myself" and so on.

No, I am not assuming he wants to get back together. But just thinking of the last time where he explicitly texted me about it and how we didn't end up talking.

I am a research student in chemical engineering and I think he got admitted to the bioengineering masters program. The two departments share a building and have a lot of mutual events... which is why he was hanging out or doing some homework in the lobby of my building (right near the door of my office).

To the person who said "I am still interested," I am not. I fully acknowledge I am awkward, shy, and not very good socially and running into him in situations like this would require me to think quickly and try to be cordial without leading him on or appearing interested again. I was relieved that we didn't talk in the lobby to be honest but I know this cannot go on forever.

Danny Bandana wrote:

what to do... wrote:

I felt that he was not challenging me enough.

What does that even mean?

It means she was into BDSM and he wasn't. To the OP, approach him about a casual FWB relationship. Chances are he's opened his repertoire and is now in a better position (no pun intended) to meet your challenges.

Why do you assume the OP is a woman?

Wow, a mature, classy response by the OP. Letsrun trolls go home DEVASTATED.

It's only as awkward as you make it. Remember that.

Be polite and make it short. I'd claim I had something I had to get to within a minute or two of it starting even if I didn't.

Definitely don't want to have a 30 minute catch up talk.

How about a simple "Hello. I hope you are doing well"?

not me man wrote:

Not buying it. College campuses are big and you don't see anyone you don't want to see.

Not if you are both in the same program...

Be adult ---when your paths cross let nature take its course. Planning how to react is childish and disingenuous.

We need a little more info:

How much weight has he gained since you last bumped uglies together?

How much weight have you gained since you last bumped uglies together?

The answer was posted on the first page:

"Have a grown-up conversation. It'll probably be a relief to him too.

"I'm happy to talk and don't want any awkwardness but I'm not interested in that way."

Or alternatively let it fester for years and never actually deal with it."

Be polite and this likely won't be awkward for very long.

Matt

Walk by as if he's a tree like everyone else. I walk by people as they are trees. Problem solved.

Seems strange that he even applied to your school. There are thousands of schools to choose from. I would stick to your instincts and avoid him. He might be a stalker.

I like the deep stuff wrote:

6/10 because you got some bites.

No woman would come to let's run for life advice.

It's not a woman -it's a man !

Anne Slanders wrote:

I like the deep stuff wrote:

6/10 because you got some bites.

No woman would come to let's run for life advice.

It's not a woman -it's a man !

Same advice if OP is male female or les autres.

Be adult about the matter.

It's impressive that a 14 year old girl got into a PhD program.

TennesseeMatt wrote:

The answer was posted on the first page:

"Have a grown-up conversation. It'll probably be a relief to him too.

"I'm happy to talk and don't want any awkwardness but I'm not interested in that way."

Or alternatively let it fester for years and never actually deal with it."

Be polite and this likely won't be awkward for very long.

Matt

This is the correct answer. If you want to nip this issue in the bud before it blossoms into a full blown flower capable of spreading further seeds of awkwardness. Here, let me give a handy guide:

1. Contact ex-boyfriend, say that you saw him in X location, and were surprised to see him at the university. Ask him what he is up to these days and what his 5k PR is now.

2. If you so feel inclined, suggest meeting for lunch or something, but be clear that you have no interest of getting back together, just want to catch up on the past few years and what's going on now. You don't want to give him the wrong idea and give him false hope.

3. At some point in this ordeal, make it clear that you have no interest in dating again, but just wanted to say hi and catch up rather than have some awkward encounter at the drinking fountain or whatever.

4. Send me a gift certificate for my favorite ethnic restaurant in my local area, as a token of thanks for helping you out.

What's amazing to me is how many young people don't know how to work through potentially awkward or difficult conversations and just avoid the situation, hoping it goes away or resolves itself or whatever. Do the right thing.

Now if he is at the same university because he has been stalking you for years and intentionally created this "random" situation, then that's a whole other problem and maybe it's a good idea to look at restraining orders. If so, please keep up updated for our entertainment.

Oh, you're studying engineering, that explains why you are unaware of the proper methods of communication, makes sense.

slowerthanuouttabethistime wrote:

Get over yourself. Life moves on. Don't seek him out, don't purposely avoid him. Treat him respectfully.

Yes, please act naturally for gods sake.