By my calculations, the word "sorry" has been uttered 17 times in this thread.. Must be a new record....
By my calculations, the word "sorry" has been uttered 17 times in this thread.. Must be a new record....
Download tinder right now. Youre in college. Distract yourself god damn it.
Don't listen to this guy. He's projecting his own insecurities and being a jerk. We are happy to help and it's totally fine to unload here! In fact if you want to see a counselor etc. you would likely be offloading anyway - here it is free! Just ignore the idiots.
Suck it up buttercup wrote:
Christ, really? Stop, please. Maybe it's time to go home so Mommy can suckle you at her bosom. Damn kid. If you're old enough to be at college, you're too old to be whining about a girl like a little bitch.
Bad idea - don't actively chase tail. You're in "mourning" right now so you're going to compare every girl you see to your ex and since you are still psychologically attached to her that will only serve to create more misery. (ie. you'll be thinking "my ex was so much better then her, we had such a connection etc. etc.)PS. There are a lot of better girls out there for you - I know you don't believe that now but think of it logically.Best thing to do for the first couple months is study, run and hang out with buddies - don't even think about girls
asdfasf wrote:
Download tinder right now. Youre in college. Distract yourself god damn it.
I can't keep doing this everyday. I need to text her I'm so upset about how this ended. She is on my mind all the time and it is giving me a headache and anxiety.
TroubledRelationship wrote:
I can't keep doing this everyday. I need to text her I'm so upset about how this ended. She is on my mind all the time and it is giving me a headache and anxiety.
You've been given the right answer repeatedly in this thread. Texting her will NOT get you what you want. The collective wisdom of dozens of guys is here to show you the right path.
I can't study, I can't take my mind off of her. What else do I do. Every time I hangout with other people it doesn't work and my mind is on her.
TroubledRelationship wrote:
I can't study, I can't take my mind off of her. What else do I do. Every time I hangout with other people it doesn't work and my mind is on her.
What do you wish to discuss with her?
I want to tell her that I need her in my life and I want her to be in it. I want to try things and do them better than before.
Of course! And it sucks I know. But the worst thing you can do is talk to her and start the cycle over. You'll have to be tough for about a month - and it will suck - you'l lose your appetite and be distressed and distracted but every single time you talk to her that month starts over. And trust me when I say this - you will never ever ever get back with her again. trust me - this has happened to many guys and many of my friends. The worst thing you can do is chat with her right now!Give it at least 6 months before you attempt to be friends. I know you don't "feel up to it" but hanging out with other people and filling your calendar with functions is the best way to go.
TroubledRelationship wrote:
I can't study, I can't take my mind off of her. What else do I do. Every time I hangout with other people it doesn't work and my mind is on her.
You aren't the issue man. She just wants something new - it's human nature. The more you text and talk to her the more that is entrenched. The best thing you can do is have some separation. She's not going to "miss you" with you talking to her - that will only serve to 100% drive you deep into the friend zone. Worst mistake you can make either way.
TroubledRelationship wrote:
I want to tell her that I need her in my life and I want her to be in it. I want to try things and do them better than before.
I think that I'm attracted to men. Should I tell her?
Go run. Go play video games with your friends. Go out with them. Get a group to do something fun downtown.
Just stop being so whiny. You're only reinforcing the negative emotions.
This is good advice. Except I would say it's ok to unleash your feelings a bit - but just do it on this forum or with a counselor. If you do it around friends too much you'll isolate yourself a bit which is what you don't need right now. It's fine to say to your friend over a beer, "I miss Carly man but I'm getting some good advice from some running buddies and just going to focus on getting lean and ripped and smart"But not OK to drone on about how much you guys had and how special it was (but sure do that here and we will give you straight up advice)
Harambe wrote:
Go run. Go play video games with your friends. Go out with them. Get a group to do something fun downtown.
Just stop being so whiny. You're only reinforcing the negative emotions.
I'm so confused about my sexuality right now. I'm attracted to girls' faces and bodies. But I feel the need to be filled up. With penis.
TroubledRelationship wrote:
I'm so confused about my sexuality right now. I'm attracted to girls' faces and bodies. But I feel the need to be filled up. With penis.
It was bound to happen. OP register your name next time.
Real ahole move to hijack this guys thread when he's hurting and reaching out. Real "TroubledRelatinship" I encourage you to continue seeking advice - it's healthy. But maybe register a quick name so you don't get hijacked by iimmature pricks like this...
TroubledRelationship wrote:
I'm so confused about my sexuality right now. I'm attracted to girls' faces and bodies. But I feel the need to be filled up. With penis.
TroubledRelationship wrote:
I want to tell her that I need her in my life and I want her to be in it. I want to try things and do them better than before.
The key element of this proposal is that she has to want it, too. You can't change other people's minds for them. The more you pursue, the further they drift. It's important to respect other's decisions.
Is there an actual human being that you trust that you can talk to about this? Like face to face or over the phone? Because that might help you tremendously. Just someone that is empathetic and a good listener and can withhold advice.
Also, I always recommend talking through highly emotional matters than texting, but you young-ins have different ways of doing things these days.
And see if you can take a weekend trip somewhere, it's good to leave your normal environment to gain some perspective on matters.
I feel like everything here has been well covered, is don't know why I'm entering this arena.
Learn from our collective experience and mistakes. I had a hard time letting go of a relationship with a former boyfriend (I'm a girl). He gently let me down, expressed his remorse, etc. and we "took a break" over the summer. By the end of the summer, I still wasn't over him, and did what you wanted to do below. Bad idea. By then he had pretty clearly moved on and he shut me down pretty hard. It was brutal, but to be honest, it's what I needed to hear in order to move on. If you keep going back to her, eventually (even if she's the nicest person the world), she's going to get fed up and she'll let you know in no uncertain terms that she's done. Done done. You need to find someone to talk to to get your 'grieving'/ questioning out of your system. I understand that you can't keep it bottled up. Talk to us, talk to a local friend, talk to a counselor. It's clear you're being driven bonkers by this, so let it out. I just don't recommend talking to her about it because it's only going to be bad news....
TroubledRelationship wrote:
I want to tell her that I need her in my life and I want her to be in it. I want to try things and do them better than before.
And I imagine because you are at university there is a mental health center or whatever. Don't feel embarrassed to pay a visit there to talk with someone, that's what they are there for.