Am I being unfair to judge some of the guys my age based on how I feel the older men I know used to act when young?

It's probably a combination of #s 2, 3 and 4.

The only demographic that says "how come there are no good men out there?" are single women in their 20s. By the time women reach their 30s and 40s, they tend to realize there are (and always were) plenty of worthy men out there, but perhaps they made some mistakes when they were younger (looking in the wrong places, looking for the wrong guys and/or having an overly inflated self image).

I also don't understand why women just accept without question the old wives tale that women mature earlier than boys. Women mature "physically" before boys (i.e., they hit puberty about 1-2 years earlier), but I think men and women (as groups) mature intellectually and emotionally at the same rate. For every male bro there is a "mean girl," for every Situation there is a Snooki, etc etc. It all evens out.

I'd say this is true from my experience. I'm female and my girlfriends and I would go out back in the day, and that's all they'd whine about. I'd say, "how about XXX? Or YYYY?" and the excuses were so vague about "Nooooo, he's so blah blah blah." I wanted to point out that the perfect man would also want the perfect woman! I mean, my girls were lots of fun but they overlooked certain traits and habits they possessed that to me were glaring red flags.So anyway, I'm 40 and I've been married 12 years to a great guy. No, he didn't check off every box on my list but he's still a keeper. Ladies, open your eyes. There are a lot of good ones out there.

Midwest Is Best wrote:

The only demographic that says "how come there are no good men out there?" are single women in their 20s. By the time women reach their 30s and 40s, they tend to realize there are (and always were) plenty of worthy men out there, but perhaps they made some mistakes when they were younger (looking in the wrong places, looking for the wrong guys and/or having an overly inflated self image).

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[quote]Pink braids wrote:

I'd say this is true from my experience. I'm female and my girlfriends and I would go out back in the day, and that's all they'd whine about. I'd say, "how about XXX? Or YYYY?" and the excuses were so vague about "Nooooo, he's so blah blah blah." I wanted to point out that the perfect man would also want the perfect woman! I mean, my girls were lots of fun but they overlooked certain traits and habits they possessed that to me were glaring red flags.

So anyway, I'm 40 and I've been married 12 years to a great guy. No, he didn't check off every box on my list but he's still a keeper.

Ladies, open your eyes. There are a lot of good ones out there./quote]

Where are they?....

This is really just a question without answers, unless you send pics. Then we can judge and answer with proper documentation.

serious though... wrote:

viva probably makes less money than jamin, LOL

Probably. Not too concerned about it.

John Utah wrote:

Nope. You have it wrong. I'm gen x and we were just as immature at that age. I think you need to go back to a generation that fought in Korea or WW2 to find men who were actually men in their early 20s. It's not really the people; it's the circumstances. Grow up in the depression or have to fight in a war - I think that naturally burns off a lot of the immaturity and foolishness.

Gen X? Aren't you the guy who wrote that book about the Utah runner girl? You're at least 55 or 60, right?

What happened to striving for your best viva? If jamin can beat you, you have very low standards.

serious though... wrote:

What happened to striving for your best viva? If jamin can beat you, you have very low standards.

Your interest in my life is kinda weird, but I'll consider it a form of flattery. You'll have to improve your trolling methods. I'll answer your question because the young people reading this should know good mental health habits.

The answer is in your question. Living a life while constantly comparing yourself to others, especially depressed, bitter people on a message board, can literally drive you insane. I could care less about how jamin's income, or anyone else's on this message board, compares to my own. If you ever meet anyone that is constantly comparing themselves to others, they are off putting and annoying.

Life is about what works for you, what makes you happy, not being overly concerned with what other people are doing or earning. If life is an endless competition, you will always lose, the world will always win, because unless your name is Mo Farah (running) or Bill Gates (money) or Tony Robbins (self improvement), you are a loser. There is always someone "better".

Would it be nice to have a higher income? Yes.

Will I take steps to improve my health and increase/diversify my income? Yes.

Will it make me happier? I don't know.

Do I need to move out of the Midwest for all this to happen? No, because Flagpole lives here and he's a happy, successful guy.

Am I going to obsess over how my income and net worth compares to others? No.

Now buzz off and worry about your own life.

Somehow Flagpole managed to get himself a wife that did a STEM PhD at Stanford. That probably helps. I don't think you could do that. Actually I'm not quite sure how Flagpole did that either.

OP here. Stumbled on this thread I made almost a year ago and providing an update. A few months after I made this thread, I met a guy who is exactly how I described/what I was looking for in my opening post. He's about 4 years older than me so not a huge age gap, is finishing up a PhD from MIT in an engineering field, and otherwise has his life together. More importantly, he's mature, very caring/empathetic, has a great sense of humor, understands relationships and what good communication means, etc.

I feel like I've stumbled on "gold" so to say, this is by far the most fulfilling relationship I've had. Posting here as an update, as it's nice to know there are people out there close to my age that I can be very compatible with. I realize my OP was a little extreme but I did ham it up a little because I knew it would bring out the Letsrun trolls. No hard feelings, as I'm very happy with how everything turned out.

Sure you did.

wholesome ending.