free life advice wrote:
maybe you're gay?
Being bi doubles your chances of dates, fyi.
free life advice wrote:
maybe you're gay?
Being bi doubles your chances of dates, fyi.
That's Great! Thanks for posting!
Girl has daddy issues. She will drop you when she is done with her residency. 26 years is too much of an age difference to overcome and she has the rest of her life to look forward to (and what do you really have in common with someone the age of your child anyhow?).
Actually, when she finishes her residency, there is a decent chance I will be on a year-long trek through Europe. We have already split up and re-matched once, and no problem for me if she does so again. As far as I am concerned, she is fantastic person and we will always admire each other whatever the outcome. She can easily marry a more "normal" guy and on my side there are plentiful beautiful younger women in the world that want a fit older man for his experience, humor and groundedness (I won't say "maturity" because in many ways I am still a kid and certainly don't carry the baggage most in my peer group have).In any case, like the OP, there is no net advantage in being a relationship in the aggregate, only tradeoffs. I know this from trial and error, with better success the last 10 years than when I was younger and naive with women. Most people tend to see relationships as a "thing", which can be created or destroyed, for me and my women, they are an experience, never to be forgotten. I will always love them all.
comedyrelief wrote:
Girl has daddy issues. She will drop you when she is done with her residency. 26 years is too much of an age difference to overcome and she has the rest of her life to look forward to (and what do you really have in common with someone the age of your child anyhow?).
Velocibuddha wrote:
Couple of things:
1) Being "selfless" is providing assistance to the unfortunate.
It is NOT shopping for feminine (or masculine) status items, watching TV "as a family," buying useless crap for your kids, and driving around endlessly in a huge car.
2) Emotional and economic weakness are the primary reason that most people are in "committed" relationships.
3) Companionship, a shared vision, and shared memories - are good reasons to be in a committed relationship. (And a small number of people are actually i. relationships for these reasons).
This. Which is very hard to find after getting a divorce. I'm not looking to 🖠or have a meaningless relationship...I want someone who is independent, a companion, honest and respect one another--probably hard to find these days, part of reason I'm happy to be alone as well...:)
If I could stay 30 forever, I would be ok being single and child free. But it doesn't work like that. You get old, lonely, and if you're without a family, that could get tough.
I found it. But only after some years of a sometimes painful education in practical psychology of women and other men. Most men my age are unable to learn in this area- societal programming is fully installed and can't be removed without some trauma.
Sounds about right wrote:
Velocibuddha wrote:Couple of things:
1) Being "selfless" is providing assistance to the unfortunate.
It is NOT shopping for feminine (or masculine) status items, watching TV "as a family," buying useless crap for your kids, and driving around endlessly in a huge car.
2) Emotional and economic weakness are the primary reason that most people are in "committed" relationships.
3) Companionship, a shared vision, and shared memories - are good reasons to be in a committed relationship. (And a small number of people are actually i. relationships for these reasons).
This. Which is very hard to find after getting a divorce. I'm not looking to 🖠or have a meaningless relationship...I want someone who is independent, a companion, honest and respect one another--probably hard to find these days, part of reason I'm happy to be alone as well...:)
comedyrelief wrote:
That is fine to have that attitude. Marriage and kids aren't for everyone. That being said, you will find fewer women of quality that are interested in you the older you get (and a lot of your single friends will drift out of your life as they get married and establish their own family lives). Eventually you will be left with women with a ton of baggage (and likely kids and diseases) that are interested in you. There is no harm in staying single, just understand that what lies ahead isn't as nice as what you have experienced to date.
You realize that a man who is in decent shape can date younger women right?
Having said that, it doesn't work for women, only men.
I would NEVER date a girl over 30 years old.
Who will bury you?
Pallbearer?
Any you know?
Lonely people
Check out
John 3:16
Romans 10:9
Got it made wrote:
I know this from trial and error, with better success the last 10 years than when I was younger and naive with women.
What does this mean exactly?
Enigamtica wrote:
Having said that, it doesn't work for women, only men.
I would NEVER date a girl over 30 years old.
You are an insular American for sure. Heard of Emmanuel Macron, PM of France?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/emmanuel-macron-parents-how-discovered-affair-drama-teacher-brigitte-trogneux-dating-french-a7724201.htmlI am 28 and feel the same way. Been in a relationship for 1.5 years. I feel damaged inside because I can't open my heart up like other people. I don't think I've ever been in love.
Just carry on living your life and doing hobbies you enjoy.
The right woman may well come along, but don't worry if they never do.
You don't feel the need to settle down so don't worry about other peoples expectations.
Women get that worse! A single woman gets hassled as to why she isn't getting married and having kids all the time!
Just play it by ear.
Sounds like you've never been in love so no reason why you would want to settle down with anyone unless you have strong feelings for them.
Some people fall deeply all the time. You don't. Just how you are.
There are no rules. You can stay single forever if you like!
If people are nosy and ask you why you are single just smile and say you are busy with life and who knows what will happen in the future.
AnaKoNdA wrote:
You are an insular American for sure. Heard of Emmanuel Macron, PM of France?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/emmanuel-macron-parents-how-discovered-affair-drama-teacher-brigitte-trogneux-dating-french-a7724201.html
Yes I am aware and no that is not a good example, considering they met when she was his 40 year old teacher and he was 15.
You sound like the guy the started the thread a couple weeks ago about whether you should get serious and exclusive with the girl you have been kinda dating for seven months or so, while you have been see other women during this time. You're 29, she is 22. Am I right?
Not so fast buddy wrote:
I'm actually kind of excited for 12 years from now when people who reject me now come crawling back and I can say nooope.
That's pretty odd behavior and it's not going to happen anyway.
I felt like i was the type to settle down be a family man and all that jazz...until I moved to NYC (Upper East Side)...its like shooting fish in a barrel here, i'll see a girl for a few weeks, then tell her I don't want a relationship/have commitment issues and move to the next one that I was talking too those weeks seeing the one before.
Seems like most of my coworkers who have families and live in NJ or CT are fairly miserable and much prefer happy hour in the city then getting back on metro north to go home and listen to their spouse complain about stuff.
The only thing is that (1) It gets expensive (2) Its exhausting, staying out late (3) Its hard to keep stories straight, remembering who told you what about work, family.
Most white american girls in NYC are absolute psychos, so if I ever got to the point 35+ where I really was looking for a wife, I would def go foreign.
Dude I swear the girls in NYC have some weird personality disorder. Place is nuts. Easy to get girls but they have no soul, it's insane.
In my view the only reason to get married is for the kids. Kids are great. If you don't want to have kids, then don't bother getting married. The relationship with the wife is just too much work/effort over time. I'm a middle aged dude who has been married for nearly 20 years and most guys I know who are my age are constantly annoyed by their wives. That's why we all build man caves.
And if you are in a marriage that hasn't had PNSO yet, you are still faced with having sex with an uninterested middle-aged woman.