Name The Best Movie Quotes of All Time

Why not work for the NSA? That's a tough one. But I'll take a shot. Let's say one day someone puts a code on my desk, something no one else can break, and maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it, and I'll feel real good about myself because I did my job well, but maybe that code led to the location of some rebel army in the middle east or North Africa somewhere. Once they have the location they bomb the village where the revels were hiding and 1500 people o never met, never had no problem with get killed. And now the politicians are saying oh let's send in the marines to secure the area, cuz they don't give a sh*t. It won't be their kid going over there getting shot, just like it wasn't them when their number got called cuz they were off pulling a tour in the national guard. It'll be some kid from southie takin shrapnel in the a$$. He comes home for find the plant he used to work at just got exported to the country he just got back from, and the guy who put the shrapnel in his a$$ got his old job cuz he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks, meanwhile the only reason we were over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a cheap price, and the oil companies use this little skirmish to scare up domestic oil prices, a cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at 2.50 a gallon. They're taking their time bringing the oil back of course maybe they even took then liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs. It ain't too long till he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive which sucks because the shrapnel in his a$$ is giving him chronic hemorrhoid, and meanwhile he's starving because every time he tries to get a bite to eat he only blue plate special they're servin is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker state. So what did I think? I'm holding out for something better. I figure, muck it, while I'm at it why don't I just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the national guard? I could be elected president.

Fredo, you're nothing to me now. Tore it a brother, you're not a friend. I don't wanna know you or what you do. I don't wanna see you in the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you go to see our mother i want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there.

The only true currency in this bankrupt world . . . is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.

"I am death"

(The seventh seal)

You talkin to me?

"Well, I’m the best there is. Plain and simple, when I wake up in the morning I piss excellence."

Ricky Bobby from Talladega Niga

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you... you're locked in here with me!"

Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

xlev2 wrote:

Blazing Saddles had hundreds of em, this is my favorite

Hey there, handsome. Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?

So true. A few of my favorites:

Don't shoot him. You'll just make him made.

Where are the white women at?

S'cuse me while I whip this out.

"If I were half the man I were 15 years ago, I'd take a flamethrower to this place."

In order for life to have appeared spontaneously on earth, there first had to be hundreds of millions of protein molecules of the ninth configuration.

But given the size of the planet Earth, do you know how long it would have taken for just one of these protein molecules to appear entirely by chance?

Roughly ten to the two hundred and forty-third power... billions of years. And I find that far, far more fantastic than simply believing in God.

Ah, there is epic art in movie dialog. So many great lines!

Evil CRITTERS on the farmhouse doorstep, squealing as they think they are attacking defenseless humans. Farmer Hayseed appears with shotgun, squints into the darkness and fires directly into them. BOOM!

Critter hesitates, turns to next in shock and fear: "FvCK!! THEY HAVE GUNS!!""

LOOOOL!!

Now let's revisit STRYKER and THE PVNISHER.

STRYKER: Prisoner buried in sand up to his neck in the desert to confess, you know, the usual torture being administered in these classy movies.

Prisoner [barely able to speak with thirst]: "waaa-ter! gassp! waaa-ter!"

Stryker: "Water? Water! You want water, I'll give you water!" [takes out d1ck and pi55es slowly on captives head]

PVNISHER: Bad guy to Dolph Lundgren: "FvCK U!"

Dolph Lundgren to bad guy" "NO! FVCK U!" [BOOM!! Blows bad guy away]

If we've been telling lies, you've been telling half-lies. A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it.

Willard: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound.

Kurtz: Are my methods unsound?

Willard: I don't see any method at all, sir.

Your parents have any children that live?

Sir, yes sir!

I bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece. What's your name, fat body?

Sir, Leonard Lawrence sir!

Lawrence, Lawrence what, of Arabia?

Sir, no sir!

That name sounds like royalty, are you royalty?

Sir, no sir!

Do you suck d---s?

Sir, no sir!

Bulls--t, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

Sir, no sir!

I don't like the name Lawrence, only f-----s and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle!

Sir, yes sir!

Do you think I'm cute Private Pyle, do you think I'm funny?

Sir, no sir!

Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face---well any f---ing time, sweetheart!

Sir, I'm trying sir

Private Pyle, I am going to give you three seconds, exactly three f---ing seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-f--k you. One! Two!

Sir, I can't help it sir

Bulls--t, get on your knees, scumbag! *kneels* now choke yourself! *brings own hands to throat* goddamit with my hand, numbnuts! *pulls hand to own throat* don't pull my f---ing hand over there, I said choke yourself. Now lean forward and choke yourself. *leans forward into hand* Are you through grinning?

Sir, yes sir!

Bulls--t, I can't hear you!

Sir, yes sir!

Bulls--t I still can't hear you, sound off like you've got a pair!

(Gasping for breath) sir, yes sir!

That's enough, get in your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start s----ing me Tiffany cuff links. Or I will definitely f--k you up!

Say hello to my little friend!

We're the Flyin' Elvises, Utah Chapter!

- Honeymoon in Vegas

“Take your stinkin' paws off me, you damned dirty ape”

“Well, a boy's best friend is his mother”

“You're gonna need a bigger boat”

“I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take this anymore”

"Surely you can't be serious."

- "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."

"I feel the need..."

- "...the need for speed!"

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."