Tough situation, uncle took my college fund.

That entire situation sucks. If you need the assistance, then definitely contact him. Otherwise determine how important it is to you and decide.

I would feel free to ask - in fact I suggest that you ask, but definitely don't expect anything but a rude response, further alienating him from the family.

If he does agree to help, do not under any circumstances provide him with personal details that would allow him to steal your identity or have access to your accounts.

You are not getting anything from that guy.

Unless you have something in writing, even as simple as a letter, indicating your grandparents intentions, I wouldn't bother.

You may want to try physical violence. It's an outdated tactic but it can be a lot of fun.

Good times are killing me wrote:

You may want to try physical violence. It's an outdated tactic but it can be a lot of fun.

Just don't get caught.

Are your parents able to help talk some sense into your uncle? It's THEIR brother after all.

If not, I do know that sending a member of the Hell's Angels to threaten your uncle (they don't even have to do anything yet) could be very effective.

Definitely approach him, but expect nothing. You don't want to have to always wonder "what if...?".

I have questions.

1. what is a will holder? If its an executor, they can't change the language of the will as you state he did, they just do the administration. Did they even have a will, if so, can you get a copy of it?

2. was the college savings in some sort of a 529 plan? If so, I don't think your uncle can just "take" it. I would think your grandparents would have already given it to you had this been the case though.

Here's the part you need to let sink in. Unless it was specifically designated in their will, then it was never "your" college fund, it was assets that belonged to your grandparents, not you. If there was no will, they become part of the estate and are distributed through that process. Your parents may have some claim to part of their estate, but you likely do not.

My advice is to move on. You went to college with no expectations of getting help, and you won't be getting any. Don't feel bad, this happens to many people, even with carefully planned estates.

An executor of a will just carries out the intent of the will, it can't sign everything over to himself as you allege. Locate the attorney who drew up the will (he will probably have a copy) and take your uncle to court.

It is a waste of time to pursue your uncle. The money won't be there, and if by chance, there is some to obtain, it is unlikely you could collect any.

Heck, when I was a kid, my father, who was well known in track circles at one time, and was very well off, had an express obligation in my parents divorce decree to pay for all of my schooling. I learned early on not to rely on him (there were Rolex watches to buy for girlfriends after all), and I was really grateful that I was cynical or hard bitten enough not to rely on the divorce decree (very lucky at 15/16 to figure this out). It oddly caused friction with my mother, who was an addict at the time and who foolishly gave up assets in divorce to insist on the inclusion of the college obligation for her sons in the divorce agreement. At the same time, she had no money or even the mental wherewithal to enforce the agreement, and I think she merely felt helpless.

In any event, this prompted the decision to go to school on a Division 1 track scholarship - a way to pay for it - for sure - but not a great deal because there was still considerable financial hardship - but at least I knew what cards to play. I was as good of a student as I was a runner (4:08 mile over 35 years ago), so the athletic scholarship deal was far from ideal (I chose a major not on interest or aptitude but rather based on where I had a bunch of AP credits piled up).

I struggled for years thinking, heck, this all wasn't fair and so on. But the truth is no one has a right to a college education, and people tend to achieve to the level to which they find comfort and talent, no matter where they go to school. I would think this type of thinking helpful to everyone.

Why do you need a college fund if you already graduated? 2/10

Move on, that money is long gone

You didn't say how much is at stake and it sounds like much of this might go through the probate court. If the money is significant, your parents should get an attorney on it right away because time is limited. If it isn't much money, then maybe it wouldn't be worth it. There is a legal process for handling this if the executor is behaving in an unscrupulous manner, which appears to be the case.

chiming in wrote:

I would feel free to ask - in fact I suggest that you ask, but definitely don't expect anything but a rude response, further alienating him from the family.

If he does agree to help, do not under any circumstances provide him with personal details that would allow him to steal your identity or have access to your accounts.

Right answer.

Most important thing is to know there is no redemption for this person. It's unlikely you would get the funds. If you did, he's still the same reprehensible person that you need to keep far, far away from your personal life.

Do you have any evidence of the existence of a college fund for you? If so you can sue the uncle for misuing the funds. Grandma saying that she would help with education isn't a college fund.

This isn't a tough situation.

Are you some kind of pus*y? Track that bast*rd down, beat the crap out of him, tie him up in a basement and get him to sign whatever legal documentation needed for the will to pass over to your legislation. Water board the guy.

You have to stop obsessing on this. That can be accomplished by doing the right thing.

Hunt him down. Follow him. Stalk him. Learn his daily routine. When the time is right, pay him a surprise visit - in the form of an ambush.

Once you have him tied to a chair and gagged, explain to him why you're there, and why the horrors that are going to follow are his fault. You know what to after that. If he has a wife or girlfriend, well, she'll have to join your miscreant uncle on this final adventure.

When you're finished, after searching his home top to bottom for anything of true value that can be easily carried, wipe the place down. Thoroughly. Then leave.

You may not get the money that was your birthright, but you'll have served up a truly cold plate of revenge.

This happened in our family. It was not worth the hassle to try and get the money back. These people are without conscience and will feel no need for redemption. The scumbag that looted my husband's grandfather's estate fancies himself a religious pillar of the community. I'm an atheist, but it gives me great pleasure to know that according to his hypocritical belief system, he is going straight to hell (the sooner, the better). I do think that for your sake, you should let him know that you know what he did. You can also do what my brother-in-law does and send him an "f* you" card every year.