My GF gave me an ultimatum it's either her or running

It's not about the running or not running. It's about allowing someone to be themselves, and loving them for who they are, instead of trying to force them to be someone else. It sounds like your current girlfriend wants you to change for her.

So you have a conversation about respecting each other for who you are and if she can't accept that, then you both need to move on.

Fast Ass wrote:

Before I became a runner, chicks were only into me for my face (college years).

After I became a runner, chicks are into me for a combination of my body and my face (less so my face).

So If I gave up running, they'd lose my middle-distance runner's body. And all that's left for them is my face, and boy... have I aged.

Sometimes you're funny, sometimes it just ticks me off. Either way, I guess you win?

EasyDecisions wrote:

All true. I am a female, last sentence was added in because I thought it would make the poor guy who's about to dump his girlfriend a laugh during a rough time. There are females on LR, it's 2017 after all gentlemen.

And yes, that's one of the reasons I am leaving him. I will not be married to someone who does not support my goals of trials or even get excited that it may be a possibility for me.

PR's

1/2 marathon PR 1:19, 10 mile PR 60:30

+1

Whether this is a real post or not, it does bring up a good point. How do we balance our personal interests/passions/hobbies with our spouses/partners. I didn't include livelihoods because because there are very few people making a living on running. It seems that lots of women, my wife included, have an uneasy relationship with my running and other hobbies. I consider regular running/outdoor exercise to be an essential part of my lifestyle, not an extra or bonus activity like going to a bar for a drink. It has taken me 8 years for me to get her to understand this and accept that running is an essential part of my life that is not negotiable. That being said, she and I both realize that I am not not will never be a professional so there can be some friction and negotiation about how often and how long I run. Is a 3-4 times per week plus a long run enough? Is 6 times a week enough? This is further complicTed by having a baby. My compromise is this-I work hard at work; I take care of the baby a lot, I don't go out to the bar after work, so Gd damnit i won't feel guilty about running 6 days a week early in the morning. No; I am not running doubles therefore not reaching my full potential, but I would not be earning a living off running so I am ok with that compromise. For some women, you could never give them enough time, so you need to set boundaries somewhere.

the real deal wrote:

I've never understood the issue with spouses/SOs having a problem with running. I mean how long do you spend running each day? An hour? Maybe an hour and a half? She can't have you out of the house for longer than one f*cking hour? Sounds like she is the problem.

I think it's the tertiary issues that can cause problems. Talking about running/training/workouts throughout the day, nutrition focus, changing prior lifestyle habits due to running. It adds up.

For example, I limit myself to one beer when going out whereas my spouse has no problem downing three or four. I loathe her habits at times.

We both think that we'd be more compatible with someone else now. Thankfully, no kids.

Story checks out wrote:

Canaidling wrote:

My best is 16:14 but I think I'm in 15:25 shape now.

True letsrunner^

Reality is: "My best is 18:14 but I think I'm in 17:25 shape now."

The great champion. wrote:

What are your PRs? This has got to be a troll. No spouse would crush somebody's Olympic dreams without giving a reason. I am assuming you don't have kids.

You can go to the Olympic Trials and be 20 minutes behind the winner or those that make the team (I will spell it out for you since you are dense: three that make team 2:25-2:26-2:27 ... you -- 2:45).

Being 20 minutes behind those that actually achieve their "Olympic dreams" does not count as Olympic dreams.

Running 2:45 at the Trials is roughly equivalent to running 4:52 in the 1500m. First of all, you won't even make the trials, second of all, you can't say you have "Olympic dreams" if you are running 4:50.

Tell her its your goal to run the best times you can. You have a goal to make all conference/state/region/qualify for the oly trials/whatever and if she can't support that, she's not the right person for you. Alternately, remind her that running takes much less time than most sports. You can be elite without even putting in 20 hours a week. Soccer and football players often practice 20-30 hours because they stand around so much. Swimmers can go over 5 hours a day.

Look on the bright side, OP.

If she does break up with you and gets a new bf, do you think he's gonna be fit or lazy?

She'll attract the same kind of guy - the athletic one. But this time he's not gonna be a runner, he's gonna be a meathead.

Sure he'll have an attractive muscular physique, but then she'll be complaining - you spend all your time at the gym... and the cycle will continue

No one should sacrifice gains for someone else.

Make you your priority.

BESIDES, who would want to be with someone who's stuck home the whole day? I'd get sick of being with someone if we're trapped in a room the whole.

I've had friends who were gamers. My former roommate was a gamer, got a girlfriend, and now they're the most passive aggressive couple I've ever met and hate because all they do is watch YouTube and twitch together and both are on their smartphones browsing in silence.

🙄

Why would you want to be with someone who stops you doing what makes you happy and is obviously an important part of your life?

They can't really love you or they would want to see you do the things that are important to you and make you happy.

Could be worse... wrote:

Mine divorced me because I spent too much time on LetsRun...🙄

This you WeJo?

I married a non-runner (never did sports) and she too took time to understand. To her time running was no different than if I was working on a car or at a bar with friends. She came around. Just took time.

The baby actually helped me get more running in. I got a BOB, took him for a run and she got a break from the baby. Win-win.

PR's would've been hard to come by but those days had passed anyways.

girls break hearts, running builds them stronger. there you go!

Canaidling wrote:

How do I go about breaking up with her?

Not that it matters at this point, but she broke up with you. She's just forcing you to bless the separation.

Peter Andersson wrote:

I sometimes have Runner's Highs that feels as strong as an org*sm - and they can last for 10-15 minutes - never meet a woman who could match that, so for me it would be an easy choice.

When this first started happening 20+ years ago I upped my running so much my GF at the time thought I was cheating on her. In a way I kinda felt like I did. Still an easy choice, obviously I'll never give up running.

+10. To answer the question, buy a van bro.

If someone wants you to give up something you love and something that helps you be the best version of yourself you can be, then there's probably not room for them in a healthy life. If running is unhealthy for you or causes you to behave in unhealthy ways, then maybe this person has your best interest at heart. But, if running makes you better: Instead of giving in to the ultimatum and, therefore, allowing her to make the end of the relationship "your fault", just tell her you won't quit running and let her end the relationship at her discretion. If you dump her as part of the ultimatum(verses dumping her because she's the kind of person who would give you an ultimatum--two different things altogether) you are allowing her control you.

A decent GF would encourage you to pushes what you love doing. A GF who demands you to stop something just to please her convenience is selfish.

If she's giving you an ultimatum in the first place, run far away dude.

Let her find some dude with a "dad bod". She will find that this guy will get too tired within the first 5min of sex and have to go for a Natty light and skole Wintergreen break.