Should I say anything to my ex girlfriend?

SEC 200 wrote:

Track & school just ended. Something stupid caused us to falter and I walked away a couple of months ago. She gave a little bit of a chase though it fizzled out because the end of the school year and season took its precedence. So just now the reality is settling in that we are apart.

Not here to cast blame but I grew tired of the same problems occurring over and over again with her. She'd get drunk with her friends, then act out and say less than savory things out of character only to beg for forgiveness the next day. Things go well and then it is damaged. Up and down, up and down. Same cycle keeps repeating every three to four weeks.

I accepted her faults as I have my own too. But it didn't seem her apologies were vested in redacting her words and actions rather the apologies came because she didn't want me to be disappointed with her anymore. In my observation this became a huge difference.

But to be real I loved and cared genuinely for this gal. I was willing to make her very much a big part of my world after graduation.

Since our last time together one of her very close friends got engaged. There was a huge splash on social media the other day. There has also been a sudden influx of relationships formed among her and my extended network of friends.

Knowing who she is and pressures arising from those closest too her I can tell she is feeling alone right now. I feel the same way but with my guard up. I can definitely acknowledge she needs some time to figure herself out and mature even. To figure out her priorities and perhaps reform. But does she have to do it alone?

I am assuming that if I made an active step toward rekindling her she'd be very open to that. But I feel like it's her that needs to make that choice and she should take the first step. I am ready to perhaps listen but she may never be able to come up with the courage, humility and initiative to take that first step on her own. Not now but forever! For anyone!

To intervene or to let it go? Thoughts?

Flagpole wrote:

SEC 200 wrote:

Track & school just ended. Something stupid caused us to falter and I walked away a couple of months ago. She gave a little bit of a chase though it fizzled out because the end of the school year and season took its precedence. So just now the reality is settling in that we are apart.

Not here to cast blame but I grew tired of the same problems occurring over and over again with her. She'd get drunk with her friends, then act out and say less than savory things out of character only to beg for forgiveness the next day. Things go well and then it is damaged. Up and down, up and down. Same cycle keeps repeating every three to four weeks.

I accepted her faults as I have my own too. But it didn't seem her apologies were vested in redacting her words and actions rather the apologies came because she didn't want me to be disappointed with her anymore. In my observation this became a huge difference.

But to be real I loved and cared genuinely for this gal. I was willing to make her very much a big part of my world after graduation.

Since our last time together one of her very close friends got engaged. There was a huge splash on social media the other day. There has also been a sudden influx of relationships formed among her and my extended network of friends.

Knowing who she is and pressures arising from those closest too her I can tell she is feeling alone right now. I feel the same way but with my guard up. I can definitely acknowledge she needs some time to figure herself out and mature even. To figure out her priorities and perhaps reform. But does she have to do it alone?

I am assuming that if I made an active step toward rekindling her she'd be very open to that. But I feel like it's her that needs to make that choice and she should take the first step. I am ready to perhaps listen but she may never be able to come up with the courage, humility and initiative to take that first step on her own. Not now but forever! For anyone!

To intervene or to let it go? Thoughts?

If I were you, I would leave well enough alone. Life brings along real drama...death in family, kid really sick, loss of income for a while, etc. No need to start out an adult life with someone who is so dramatic over stupid stuff.

Know these things:

1) Being drunk doesn't make you say things out of character. It just helps reveal the real character.

2) Never stay with a girlfriend just because you have established some ancillary friendships with some of her friends.

3) You called her a "gal", so maybe you can get some emotional support from your barbershop quarter that you are obviously a member of.

SEC 200 wrote:

Track & school just ended. Something stupid caused us to falter and I walked away a couple of months ago. She gave a little bit of a chase though it fizzled out because the end of the school year and season took its precedence. So just now the reality is settling in that we are apart.

Not here to cast blame but I grew tired of the same problems occurring over and over again with her. She'd get drunk with her friends, then act out and say less than savory things out of character only to beg for forgiveness the next day. Things go well and then it is damaged. Up and down, up and down. Same cycle keeps repeating every three to four weeks.

I accepted her faults as I have my own too. But it didn't seem her apologies were vested in redacting her words and actions rather the apologies came because she didn't want me to be disappointed with her anymore. In my observation this became a huge difference.

But to be real I loved and cared genuinely for this gal. I was willing to make her very much a big part of my world after graduation.

Since our last time together one of her very close friends got engaged. There was a huge splash on social media the other day. There has also been a sudden influx of relationships formed among her and my extended network of friends.

Knowing who she is and pressures arising from those closest too her I can tell she is feeling alone right now. I feel the same way but with my guard up. I can definitely acknowledge she needs some time to figure herself out and mature even. To figure out her priorities and perhaps reform. But does she have to do it alone?

I am assuming that if I made an active step toward rekindling her she'd be very open to that. But I feel like it's her that needs to make that choice and she should take the first step. I am ready to perhaps listen but she may never be able to come up with the courage, humility and initiative to take that first step on her own. Not now but forever! For anyone!

To intervene or to let it go? Thoughts?