1. Blood doping
1. Blood doping
Oinker wrote:
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When you cross the finish line grab your crotch and shout "Gobble Gobble MuFukkas!!"
*This tip only applies if your marathon is on Thanksgiving.
23. Run Dick Out
A marathon is a long way to go without giving the little guy some fresh air. In the middle of the race right when things start to get tough, flop it out for a mile or two. The fresh air will rejuvenate you and prepare you for "the wall".
rcjason wrote:
rcjason wrote:OMG, I totally did not post this. 5x18 is the only training method to use, period. Why is this guy using my name? How do I fix this?
I don't know who any of these guys are. I'm the real rcjason. More tips coming up!
I wish all you fakes would stop posting with my name.
I also do one-to-one coaching on all aspects of the marathon if anyone is interested, email me at
.
(I was coached by Tinman so i know my stuff).
I am trying to break 6 hours how many gels should I eat thanks.
Can you help! wrote:
I am trying to break 6 hours how many gels should I eat thanks.
The package says 5 minutes before, and every 45 minutes. So you will need 9 GUs to break 6 hours. If you think there's a chance you may not make it in that time, you might want to bring extra!
rcjason wrote:
Can you help! wrote:I am trying to break 6 hours how many gels should I eat thanks.
The package says 5 minutes before, and every 45 minutes. So you will need 9 GUs to break 6 hours. If you think there's a chance you may not make it in that time, you might want to bring extra!
You can save time and eat all 9 gu's right before the gun goes off saving you time along the course.
How should I carry all of the gels???
*Most Important Marathon Tip Ever!*
Never take advice from rcjason
rcjason wrote:
I also do one-to-one coaching on all aspects of the marathon if anyone is interested, email me at
rcjason@gmail.com.
(I was coached by Tinman so i know my stuff).
PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME!
I DO NOT one-to-one coaching.
As you near the finish, keep a sharp eye out for staggering runners who need to be assisted across the line. If need be, stop and wait for the inevitable collapsing competitor. Have your cell phone ready for a selfie as you carry that sweaty babe to her DQ! Your facebook and instagram will light up for days!
Can you offer my buddy and me some two-to-one? Thanks, RC Jason!
RC x2 wrote:
Can you offer my buddy and me some two-to-one? Thanks, RC Jason!
Usually you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.
22. No pain, no pain.
Virtual marathons are the way to an easy finishers medal. But don't forget the Gu's and bodyglide. hunger and chaffing could still occur.
23. Be sure to tell everyone in the starting corral and on the course your PRs and how many miles you ran in training. This is vital information to them and something they will be greatly concern with. Even if your PRs are 20 years old, this gives the other runner a scale so they can gauge as to how awesome you are as a runner and how terrible they are.
24. Viagra
It helps blood flow. If you're going for more than 4 hours be sure to stop in the medical tent to consult a physician.
24. You will be running for a long time and you will encounter other runners on the course. You may end up running a number of miles together. In order to break the ice try replying to their questions with nothing but SNL catch phrases. So throw out "Isn't THAT special?" or "yeah.. Thhat's the ticket!" stuff like that.
25. For the more performance minded runner don't be tempted to try PEDs, but instead opt for PEZs. Down as many pez and you can fit in your mouth every other mile. Be your own superhero.
http://www.birthdayexpress.com/p/84008/the-avengers-pez-dispenser-assortment
Pez good, Snickers bar great. Unwrap it and stick it down the back of your half tights so it will be nice and warm when it's time to dine! Your fellow runners will fall back after they see you take it out and realize that you're committed to acquiring a Cool Participation Medal!