You ever get laid off LetsRun?
You ever get laid off LetsRun?
Just in yesterday:
Coach:
I had no idea you were failing your classes.
Athlete:
I wasn't so I didn't want to try that hard on my exams.
Coach:
You're no longer eligible to be on the team.
Athlete:
How can that be?
Trust me, you guys are way ahead of us in then stupid column.
+1
"take a day off"
I have two, one from this week:
1. I have a group of 400/800 guys and I want them to do 100 meter strides at 800 pace. So they have a sense of what that means, I ask what the time should be for the 100. A senior, albeit new guy, blurts out "8 seconds!" He is apparently a 64 second 800 guy!
2. When I was a senior in high school, we had a freshman who claimed that the wind was stopping and starting at this particular track meet. When coach asked what he meant, the kid said, "It was blowing really hard down the back stretch but then stopped on the front stretch." Without missing a beat, coach says, "Yea, that'll happen here."
"This indoor season you'll have such a base, you only need to do 50 miles a week." (I'm a 100+ mpw guy in CC)
"Those who play it safe and pace themselves, instead of getting out hard and dying, will be the ones who fail in outdoor season."
"These strength drills won't make you sore."
*halfway through drills*
"You're going to be SO sore tomorrow!"
"Form doesn't really matter"
Just a few off the top of my head.
Since I'm firmly in the HJ category here, my examples are from my (American) football days:
Teammate category:
[Our top running back complaining about the wet conditions]
"I can't get any gription." (We geekier team members reckoned gription was some magical form of matter, similar to the ancient Greeks' "caloric".)
Coach category:
"Go 'run it off'." Head coach's command to a teammate who was on the group with face winced and knee clutched. The athlete struggled to get up, hobbled two steps, and fell in a heap. Turned out my teammate had torn knee ligaments.
My old college coach is me after an injury during a workout to go see his wife to "get healing" because she was psychic and could heal with her hands. She was our assistant coach
Unbelievably stupid
"Swishing gatorade around in your mouth gives you 90% of benefits of drinking it"
Coach: hey, you guys wanna see my Prince Albert?
Friend on the team: What's that?
Coach proceeds to pull it out and show 4 stunned teenagers his new piercing.
Hold my beer and watch this.
I had a college teammate who thought all manned and unmanned space missions had to enter and exit the atmosphere through the hole in the ozone layer.
There was a girl on my collegiate team who believed that trees create the wind by moving their branches around...
she was being serious wrote:
There was a girl on my collegiate team who believed that trees create the wind by moving their branches around...
Who then voted for Trump, because it was the logical choice.
High school basketball coach tried making fun of a kid and told him he looked like a wounded Serengeti.
pop_pop!_v2.2.1 wrote:
she was being serious wrote:There was a girl on my collegiate team who believed that trees create the wind by moving their branches around...
Who then voted for Trump, because it was the logical choice.
Pop, your gal lost. Get over it and move on please. Don't clutter this amusing thread with your angsty high school garbage.
Week before states we did a 13 mile run at a quick pace then he had us do 4 by mile at 5:20 pace. Safe to say we did not perform well.
Oh no did you go to SUNY New Paltz? I saw that on my recruiting trip a few years back and immediately crossed them off my list
trackislife12 wrote:
Week before states we did a 13 mile run at a quick pace then he had us do 4 by mile at 5:20 pace. Safe to say we did not perform well.
I have you beat in terms of dumb coach stories. Coach didn't have us do any speed work until the day before state when we did 12*400 m repeats
Metoo wrote:
trackislife12 wrote:Week before states we did a 13 mile run at a quick pace then he had us do 4 by mile at 5:20 pace. Safe to say we did not perform well.
I have you beat in terms of dumb coach stories. Coach didn't have us do any speed work until the day before state when we did 12*400 m repeats
This was for HS xc