Things you have found on a run and brought back with you

Ohia wrote:

Box of porn mags

2 blackberry phones in one summer. One had a ton of nudes on the memory card. About 2 hrs of footage of the dude doin his wife/gf whatever

2 turtles in a 2 day span. Found one on one day, another on the next day

And how was she?

Good question.

Loads of things people need to ditch before arriving home:

Beer (unopened) - Michelob Ultra, Zima, PBR, Corona.

Porn - more often fetish, signalling a problem

Condoms - nearly full, 20+ box one or two missing; you can just imagine the scenarios that led to that

Knives - once found a beautiful long kitchen knife, picked it up, realized how insane it must look running along w/ it, ditched it in the next mailbox

Pregnancy test kit boxes - from $1M home area, it was either a teenager or a well-to-do woman, either way she felt compelled to ditch the box before getting home

Plan B box - again, similar location

Bikes - ditched off to the side/in the bushes - I'm guessing some kid stole a bike, realized he'd be questioned by folks, so he ditches it near home.

Dildo

Bra - largest one I've ever witnessed, think 55 DDD. Couldn't imagine the make-out scene that led to that. Showed it to coworkers, who sneakily stretched it across my front bumper, drove home unwittingly.

In summation, I've realized people are living far more adventurous lives than I am.

Found a baby's shoe, backtracked about 1 1/2 mi on the trail until I found the woman whose baby it belonged to.

I've never found any weapons, backpacks full of weed, porn, dildoes, or dead bodies.

Fleshlight-- washed it out, worked fine, sold it on ebay for $30

Lot of various sports balls.

Why would one have to ditch a knife before getting home?

kid history wrote:

Ohia wrote:

Box of porn mags

2 blackberry phones in one summer. One had a ton of nudes on the memory card. About 2 hrs of footage of the dude doin his wife/gf whatever

2 turtles in a 2 day span. Found one on one day, another on the next day

And how was she?

Actually she was pretty hot. Fake tits, tons of footage of her suckin his wang tho. He also had a ton of dick pics. Blegh. Had a full pic of his drivers license so i knew where he lived lol.

Found some girl's (probably 19 or 20) diary several years back. Probably shouldn't have read it, but I did. It had her address in it, so I mailed it to her.

Like those that have found tools, I picked up a pretty nice adjustable wrench in the middle of the street last fall.

One of my routes used to go by a college baseball field where I'd find balls across the street from it sometimes. i enjoyed that because it reminded me of trying to keep the baseballs that would occasionally get fouled into the infield of our track in college. The baseball team would always come looking, but if I was fast enough to pop it into my duffle bag and then just kept about my business, they would sometimes not ask if I had found a ball.

One of them orange traffic cones. Carried it back two miles, but split between various group members carrying it above their heads.

a switchblade, carried it 17 miles back home

FastNash wrote:

I found a sweet potato and ran with it for half a mile before my teammate made me throw it away cause he thought it was gross :,,,,,,(

Had the zact same expierence, but with Kirsten Dunst.

Most recent- A cell phone two days ago. Called the first number and got it back to the owner.

Largest- A train track liner. It's a huge crowbar used to straighten train tracks and pull railroad spikes. Must have weighed 40 pounds. Carried it home, a bit less than a mile. Lost it in a move. Very sad.

Heaviest- Chain, likely off a tow truck. Weighs a bit less than 60 pounds. With hooks on both ends, it is very handy. Dragged that thing more than a mile to get it home. Not sure why but glad I have it now. I towed a car with it yesterday.

Most useful- Set of six crescent wrenches of various sizes, all held together with a zip tie. Very high quality, I have had them now for nearly 40 years and use them all the time.

Funniest- Page from a porn mag, laying on the very busy hike/bike trail along Rock Creek in DC. It was laying in the center of the trail, plain as day. I picked it up and kept running. Coming back 45 minutes later and there was another page laying there. I looked around but couldn't spot whoever it was that was laying them out. I wonder how many pages he distributed that day? I didn't bother taking them home :-)

iPhone - 5 miles

iPad 0.8 miles

Both returned to their owners for a nice reward.

McFarland USA DVD. Watched and returned to redbox.

I hope the person bringing in the mail that day was in a good mood, or you could be a murder suspect pretty soon.

An ersatz US $5 bill, carried for about 2.5k...

... near the end of a long run, I saw a folded $5 bill on the side of the road. I happily grabbed it and stuffed it into my shorts pocket.

When I pulled it out once I was home, I discovered it was not currency, but instead a $5

Hooked By the Fin wrote:

An ersatz US $5 bill, carried for about 2.5k...

... near the end of a long run, I saw a folded $5 bill on the side of the road. I happily grabbed it and stuffed it into my shorts pocket.

When I pulled it out once I was home, I discovered it was not currency, but instead a $5

[Fat-finger mistake]

What I thought was real money turned out to be a religious tract printed out to mimic a five-dollar bill, with some text along the lines of "You found something more valuable than money!"'

Not happy I was hoodwinked, but I blamed my depleted physical state at the time.

So the thread is about stuff you found and carried back and one of the popular answers is used condoms. The LetsRun crowd is weirder than I thought.

It is amazing how much porno can be found on the side of the road. I know I've seen it a bunch of times. Never picked it up, though.

I once had two weekends in a row when I found $20 bills on the ground at the start of my morning run. One was in the road right outside of my place, the other was about a 1/4 mile away. I turned right around and took it back inside the first time. The second time I carried it with me for the rest of the seven-mile loop. Pretty sweet.

We found a felt top poker table that was about 3 feet wide and 7 feet long. Carried it about a mile and have been using it for beer pong ever since

cats

twice I have rescued cats off the local trail (one was barely old enough to wean).

both now live with my stepdaughter in Denver, hundreds of miles away.