Do a lot of guys find it intimidating when a woman runs 50, 60+ miles a week?

Just wow... wrote:

I think many people, men and women, are turned off by the opposite sex being that serious about their fitness. They think we are "crazy" and/or self-absorbed. Screw 'em!!!

In my experience, the only people who elicit reactions along those lines are A bit crazy and obsessed. There are plenty of people who run high mileage and don't elicit that response when they talk a bit about their training to somebody who asks about it.

My boss asked me how many miles I was running for a base buildup.I said I have averaged 12 miles a day since Christmas, and he thought I was insane.

He said "why I FINISHED a half marathon on 20mpw"

some people dont get it

I had someone ask me if I could run six minutes for a mile. I said yes but didn't mention I could run about 9-10 of those in a row with zero rest. People have no fuggin clue.

Just keep shopping until you find a self confident guy who's not shot through with insecurities.

Our culture programs young men to be kinda macho and shallow, vapid consumers looking at consumer culture for cues and approval. Those with confidence and critical thinking skills can cut through the BS and be their own person.

Maybe you are misinterpreting intimidation for confusion. The amount of training required for an endurance event is completely foreign to most people. 60mpw is outside their frame of reference and they don't know how to respond. They don't have anything to bring to the conversation, so just kinda go, "oh really, wow that's crazy".

"I noticed that his attitude seemed to change and it felt like he almost felt intimidated that I was running this type of mileage."

As a woman, I say that women tend to overanalyze. More likely, you were talking about yourself and slightly "geeking out" with running and started to feel a little insecure, questioning whether or not he found this interesting or annoying. Or I'm wrong and you should provide more specifics on how his attitude changed.

"I noticed that his attitude seemed to change and it felt like he almost felt intimidated that I was running this type of mileage."

OP, it strikes me as a good thing to screen early for people who are foolish enough to care about what mileage you run one way or the other.

So actually I downplayed my mileage: I was running more than this, but felt like anything above 70 would seem like a total running geek in a stage where we're just getting to know each other. The reason I thought it was relevant to bring up mileage was because I was trying to use numbers to explain how much altitude affected me and I had to run less because of it, as well as run less hard workouts. I also tried to explain how I had to add in things like sprints to not lose leg speed.

I am sure this guy is much better at skiing, snowboarding, and those types of things than I am and I conveyed as much.

The one benefit to not dating a serious runner guy is I can come here and ask relationship questions and know he's probably not on here.

True and you guys might be right that I am overanalyzing and it was fine.

I usually don't care this much but this particular guy seemed like one of most compatible people I've seen in a while and we got along very well on our first date.

ummm...... wrote:

So actually I downplayed my mileage: I was running more than this, but felt like anything above 70 would seem like a total running geek in a stage where we're just getting to know each other. The reason I thought it was relevant to bring up mileage was because I was trying to use numbers to explain how much altitude affected me and I had to run less because of it, as well as run less hard workouts. I also tried to explain how I had to add in things like sprints to not lose leg speed.

I am sure this guy is much better at skiing, snowboarding, and those types of things than I am and I conveyed as much.

You geek scared him and he probably thinks you have an eating disorder too.

'leg speed" on a first date? Really?

Not a good match for a snowboarder with the munchies.

If this isn't a joke then drop these guys... I run 85 mpw and my fiance who is also a competitive runner only runs 5 more miles a week than me. If guys are intimidated by something you work hard at and care about they aren't worth your time.

Lots of good replies looking at the OP's question, and yes some men who are not worth your time may find your mileage intimidating.

Ask yourself if it is a question of delivery, though. Tone, body language, choice of words, etc. There is a guy in my office who goes on about his hobbies all the time and I generally check out of the conversation as quickly as possible. Not because I'm intimidated, because I'm bored or annoyed.

2/10

Which Runners are more interesting you, ones and only talk about mileage, or ones that talk about the adventure of their run?

That difference is amplified when telling the same formation to a non-runner.

Maybe your runs need to be more interesting.

Which is more interesting, a run on the treadmill, or a run around a beautiful lake at sunrise?

Milage simply means focus and dedication. I only find PRs better than mine intimidating.

To the OP, when his attitude changed did you validate his concerns? by stating "I know what you mean about being in altitude and doing activities especially if you're not used to it. Breathing can be very difficult at times.."

This statement might have helped changed his attitude or lessened the blow. Men want to be heard & supported and not have a female showing off their skills. Let him think he's more important (you're confident in youself not to be validated right away) in the beginning and if you really like this guy and he likes you then slowly introduce your running skills by doing instead of telling. He will either be impressed by your athletic abilities or intimidated. If he's really into you, he will start caring/supporting about your hobbies as long as you do the same for him. If he continues to be uninterested/unsupportive in your running then move on.

Actually, I love women who excel in their sport and have passion. It is very attractive to me.

OK, this may add to the conversation (hopefully)

I live in a rural area where there is a bank of mailboxes that 10-20 houses use and is a much as a couple hundrd yards from some of them. In fact the farthest people from their box is probably a significant fraction of a mile.

With one exception (the closest house, about 40 ft) everyone but me drives to the box. This includes people who live a soccer field away or less. Now, there are a few who open the car door, get out, and open the box. Very few. The rest drive in such a manner that they can reach out the window and get the mail without leaving the car seat. Opening the door and standing is an expenditure of effort and therefore unacceptable. Certainly walking is out of the question.

Right down the road is a house that had a yong child. The mom would drive down the driveway to take the kid to the edge of the road to await the school bus. Now, 'driveway' might mean less in the country where it's not necessarily about a car length. However, this one is not long by urban standards. I guess it's a hundred feet. To walk it would take physical effort and was avoided at all costs.

Who cares? Well, this describes not just my 'hood nor the United States but the world. People are lazy. Shockingly lazy. Militantly lazy. So when encountering someone who's not just slightly less lazy, like opening the car door to get the mail or walking 75 ft, but flaunting their expenditure of effort and calories by running right down the middle of the street - daily - then average people may be confused or even angry.

My existence in the area definetly annoys many and some are actually pissed. This can become obvious by shouting and shaking a fist out the window (of a large white pickup, generally) as they drive by, letting the dogs out as you're coming down the street, or even just a disgusted look. Some swerve as if they are trying to run you over (but invariably chicken out) or throw something. This is not surprising. Look at how the masses feel about physical effort being expended and calories burned. It is offensive and absolutely avoided at all costs. I'm running down the road and they are unamused.