I was on a date recently and the guy was talking about how he goes snowboarding, skiing, etc. He mentioned that it was harder in Aspen and he struggled with the altitude. I mentioned that I had trained at altitude in Colorado north of Boulder and it took some time to get used to. He said he couldn't imagine altitude training being anything but good for you even if you have to slow down.
I then tried to explain how exactly it affected me. I was running 70 mpw at sea level and dropped down to 50-60 mpw before I could build back up, and even then had to cut back on harder interval workouts. Having mostly talked to runners (I am now out in the real world) this type of jargon is natural to me but I noticed that his attitude seemed to change and it felt like he almost felt intimidated that I was running this type of mileage at altitude. Now this guy doesn't look like he is in bad shape and seems to work out regularly but just is not very good at cardio like I am since that's all I train for (I'm sure he is much better at skiing, snowboarding, etc. than I am).
Anyway it got me thinking. After now having been out on more dates in "the real world", I find that some guys, even ones who seem to work out/are in shape, find it intimidating that I run a lot. Maybe not the guys of Letsrun, since most of you guys train competitively and are fast, but the average guy in the general population. I would think runners aren't that intimidating... I mean I am not very muscular at all.
Do a lot of guys find it intimidating when a woman runs 50, 60+ miles a week?
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I admire women who are badass in their chosen sport. I think it's attractive. I would think that if some dude found your dedication intimidating (to the point where it threatened his masculinity), he would probably not be worth your time.
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some might, but I'd wonder if she were an 800 runner or something, with that little mileage
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ummm..... wrote:
I find that some guys, even ones who seem to work out/are in shape, find it intimidating that I run a lot. Maybe not the guys of Letsrun, since most of you guys train competitively and are fast, but the average guy in the general population. I would think runners aren't that intimidating... I mean I am not very muscular at all.
The general population does not know what 50 miles per week means. It's probably how you are saying it - the tone in your voice, or any hand or facial movements.
Just say you like to run and do not get into specifics.
I tell guys all of the time I run a lot and they don't get intimidated. They compliment my legs and then want to bang me. -
A guy who is intimidated by a female athlete is probably not worth wasting your time on.
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"I noticed that his attitude seemed to change and it felt like he almost felt intimidated that I was running this type of mileage"
Most likely he realized you wouldn't have the time and energy for other "activities." -
ummm..... wrote:
I was on a date recently and the guy was talking about how he goes snowboarding, skiing, etc. He mentioned that it was harder in Aspen and he struggled with the altitude. I mentioned that I had trained at altitude in Colorado north of Boulder and it took some time to get used to. He said he couldn't imagine altitude training being anything but good for you even if you have to slow down.
I then tried to explain how exactly it affected me. I was running 70 mpw at sea level and dropped down to 50-60 mpw before I could build back up, and even then had to cut back on harder interval workouts. Having mostly talked to runners (I am now out in the real world) this type of jargon is natural to me but I noticed that his attitude seemed to change and it felt like he almost felt intimidated that I was running this type of mileage at altitude. Now this guy doesn't look like he is in bad shape and seems to work out regularly but just is not very good at cardio like I am since that's all I train for (I'm sure he is much better at skiing, snowboarding, etc. than I am).
Anyway it got me thinking. After now having been out on more dates in "the real world", I find that some guys, even ones who seem to work out/are in shape, find it intimidating that I run a lot. Maybe not the guys of Letsrun, since most of you guys train competitively and are fast, but the average guy in the general population. I would think runners aren't that intimidating... I mean I am not very muscular at all.
You should have said something like "snowboarding - is that a sport?". -
suzy qqq wrote:
It's probably how you are saying it - the tone in your voice, or any hand or facial movements.
^this
I never tell anyone how much I run unless they ask directly. Running 60+ miles means that most of your life is running, eating, sleeping, planning, etc. And yes, a man is in general less likely to accept such dedication from a woman than the other way. Unless they're both into the same sport of course. -
runner man with his mouth shut wrote:
suzy qqq wrote:
It's probably how you are saying it - the tone in your voice, or any hand or facial movements.
^this
I never tell anyone how much I run unless they ask directly. Running 60+ miles means that most of your life is running, eating, sleeping, planning, etc. And yes, a man is in general less likely to accept such dedication from a woman than the other way. Unless they're both into the same sport of course.
Agreed. This is probably an issue of you seeming a little off from being overly enthusiastic when discussing it. It likely had nothing to do with you being a woman. This could just as likely be an issue if you were a male discussing your running obsession (obsession from the other person's perspective). -
I find the opposite; I run the same mileage as you, and guys seem to love that I run that much......maybe because long term, it means I'm never going to get fat? Anyway, the only time it's become an issue is travelling together because I run as much while on a trip as I do at home. It's not always appreciated.
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suzy qqq wrote:
Just say you like to run and do not get into specifics.
This ^^^
Just say you run, they'll figure out how much you run after. To the general population, 50-70 miles a week seems like a lot so they're going to think all you do is run and don't have free time. If you truly do have free time, then you'll be able to show you can run that much and still have time for him. If he doesn't respect you as a runner, it might not be worth it. -
suzy qqq wrote:
ummm..... wrote:
I find that some guys, even ones who seem to work out/are in shape, find it intimidating that I run a lot. Maybe not the guys of Letsrun, since most of you guys train competitively and are fast, but the average guy in the general population. I would think runners aren't that intimidating... I mean I am not very muscular at all.
The general population does not know what 50 miles per week means. It's probably how you are saying it - the tone in your voice, or any hand or facial movements.
Just say you like to run and do not get into specifics.
I tell guys all of the time I run a lot and they don't get intimidated. They compliment my legs and then want to bang me.
This is awful advice. Men typically choose to react in two ways to women with strong passions. They are either intimidated because of insecurities or turned on because hard working women are a catch. I think you've found someone insecure and is trying to use their 'alpine' knowledge to fill in the gaps of a mediocre personality. Also 5k PRs? -
Always a better idea to say "oh, about an hour per day." That doesn't seem as crazy to people because lots of folks go to the gym for an hour, play soccer for an hour, etc.
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hobby jogalog wrote:
I admire women who are badass in their chosen sport. I think it's attractive. I would think that if some dude found your dedication intimidating (to the point where it threatened his masculinity), he would probably not be worth your time.
I agree with this guy completely. Very well said. -
A lot of guys might. Men do not.
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isn't dating when the women runs more than the man like when a women dates a shorter man...he won't be able to handle it
then you go and talk about training at altitude which is like putting on high heels and crushing his ego -
Burnt at both ends? wrote:
"I noticed that his attitude seemed to change and it felt like he almost felt intimidated that I was running this type of mileage"
Most likely he realized you wouldn't have the time and energy for other "activities."
+1 -
I think you are asking your question in the wrong place. No one here is going to be intimidated by a woman running 60 mi/week. Try AverageJoe.com if you want an opinion from the average guy. And why are you only running 60 mi/week? When are you going to get serious?
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I think the average person thinks that is insane milage. Like only an ultra marathoner would be running that crazy high milage. I bet if you went and asked random people at the mall how many mpw an olympic middle distance runner runs, I bet they'd say 30-40 mpw
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Being a married man who has not dated in a while take this with a grain of salt as my dating days ended 13 years ago. No matter who you are, no matter what gender you are, there are going to be people who do not react well to how you spend your time. Maybe its reading, maybe its video games or movies, maybe its the job that you have or the sport you play. Its going to happen at some point. Here is my advice.
Do not change who you are. Do not tiptoe around your running hobby because you don't want to 'intimidate' your date. Be yourself. When you excitedly tell your date about your running and he is turned off, then fine, on to the next guy. Take this snowboarding guy. Even though your hobbies don't line up completely what if his reaction would have been interest in what you had to say about altitude training? It sounds to me like a guy who couldn't appreciate any interests outside his own. That will get old quick. My wife doesn't run, she hates running actually but she appreciates my hobby, is supportive and comes to races to watch me run. In the same way, my wife really likes to garden and I don't but I am supportive and interested in what she does.
In short, be yourself and date/marry a person who likes you just as you are. A life of pretending would suck.
