The devil meets with Donald Trump to try and deal for his soul.
Devil: Sir, what do you require?
DT: First I want to be wealthy, so wealthy you wouldn’t believe it. But I don’t want any of this trick BS where I have to work hard or anything, just have people think I’m wealthy.
Devil: Deal?
DT: Not so fast, I’m the expert deal maker here. Second, I want to have my way with women. I want to be able to do whatever I want with them and there’s nothing they can do about it.
Devil: ok, deal.
DT: You think I’m stupid, I want more. Third, I’m already the smartest person I know, but other people don’t realize how smart I am. I want everything I say, write, or do to come across as brilliant.
Devil: Well, I can assure you that people will be utterly amazed by what you say, write, or do.
DT: ok, last thing. You know that thing you offered that Jew guy long time ago in the desert and he turned you down.
Devil: Ummm....
DT: You know, that power thing, adoring worshipers who give unquestioned loyalty like I was a King, that stuff.
Devil: Well...a...
DT: Come on, I’m a very busy man.
Devil: (thinking to himself...how in the hell am I going to get millions of idiots to worship this guy...oh well, I’ll have to let him in on some my tricks). Ok, but you are going to have to foment hate, drive division amongst the population, turn on your friends and allies, focus on tormenting the weak and defenseless, insult and intimidate any who oppose you, heck even screw over those loyal to you they don’t matter anyway, lie continuously, and absolutely make people think that despite all the contrary that there’s something in it for them if they stick with you. Once they’re on your side, they will be unable to see any other way. Hell, I even throw in that they will vigorously and violently stick up for you.
DT: You’d do that for me?
Devil: Of course, I’m as good as my word. Deal?
DT: Deal.