I'll address a bit of what you said, but I could go on for hours if time allowed.
First, there are many who believe that you, Flagpole, are evil because you think that same sex marriage is OK. You end up calling each other evil just because you disagree.
You are both wrong to call each other evil just because your beliefs are different.
A literal interpretation of scripture is indeed a popular principle of exegesis. But if you drill down with folks you find that most are pretty reasonable about what "literal" scripture actually means. If you present a difficult passage and say, "Are you comfortable that this was meant as allegory?", most will not have a problem with it.
That wife of the associate pastor didn't really understand what she was saying. It's sad that you left the church just because of someone who's faith is not very sophisticated. I doubt that this "wife of an associate pastor" has had much theological training.