My girlfriend is 30 and has a net wealth of $0.00. Is she totally screwed? Retirement?

On what planet is "the general rule" to have "a retirement fund worth two years of your gross earnings by age 35.?"

70g wrote:

Flounder wrote:

She's definitely screwed if she stays with you.

Where do you get off calling her a parasite?

I didn't call her a parasite. I said if I were to marry her she would become one. I'm 31 and have a net worth of around $115,000. With such a huge mismatch in finances it's only natural that she will end up benefiting a great deal financially while I will lose a great deal financially. Yes, I understand as a man that's how it typically works, but it's generally not so lopsided, especially when kids are not even in the picture. Her financial skills are abysmal; mine are above average. I would rather be with someone closer to my level.

You guys are clearly a bunch of chumps who are in no better financial situations.

Not sure where you live, but in the big cities, $5000 and $115,000 net worth are pretty much the same. That is to say, you are both just getting started, and education, networks, and marketable experience will determine how quickly you will amass wealth much more than your current savings.

I was flat broke at 30, but had accumulated nearly $1M at 40. At 50 I'm just working for satisfaction and maybe to fatten up my retirement income. My wife, who was in debt when we met for many years, has always pulled her weight and would be able to retire in her own right by 55 if she wanted. (She doesn't.)

Impressive. How did you manage that?

You didn't finish your thought.

"I bet she is attractive and pleasant to talk to..........." (and you are ugly and annoying?)

Yeah, she's totally screwed because she got stuck with the all-time booby prize (aka the haughty OP).

Wait guys.... I figured it out.... the OP.... IS the girlfriend! She is worried about her boyfriend and is trying to gauge responses by starting such a ridiculous thread and seeing the reactions to her boyfriend's tendencies.

The dead giveaway was the fact that the boyfriend thinks 115k is a lot, and that he called her a parasite.

It's not a problem provided she understands it's a problem and takes steps to get her savings in order. She has 35 years left so nothing radical is needed. Get her contributing 5% then add an additional 2% on top of that each year as she gets her yearly raise until she his at least 15%.

To show her how quickly money grows put together a simple spreadsheet with yearly balances, or visit a savings calculator website.

Congratulations on having 100k at 30. Around 250k it'll gain some critical mass, and beyond 500k is when the market gains/losses begin to dwarf your contributions.

Cut her some slack though as many people, who are otherwise intelligent, are bad with finances. This is an opportunity for her to growand mature.

webby wrote:Not sure where you live, but in the big cities, $5000 and $115,000 net worth are pretty much the same. That is to say, you are both just getting started, and education, networks, and marketable experience will determine how quickly you will amass wealth much more than your current savings.

Agreed.

My concern would be whether she seems to have uncontrollable spending habits, which you should be able to observe. It's great to have real savings started by the time you're 30, but if you live alone in a major city and you have fairly normal social life, then saving money is pretty tough. You have to be significantly more disciplined than your peers to do it, or you need to have a pretty high salary. Most people take their cues from their peers. Eating and drinking out of the home are pretty normal. Taking weekend trips is pretty normal. When I was single, I think the majority of women I dated were probably in the same situation (other than the lawyers).

If saving money is a big deal to you, then it's something you'll have to discuss at some point, as conflicts over saving and spending are some of the biggest relationship problems in married couples. You'll also probably have to hold yourself to the same standard, even if you make more money. It's very hard to get upset with a partner for splurging occasionally if you do also do it yourself, even if you manage to stay comfortably in the black.

What happens to you if all your planning is bullsh!t ... life does not start at age 65. Retirement is a myth and you are the one who is screwed; you who is terrified. Stop being concerned about her; move on with life and get control over your own thoughts of doom.

70g wrote:

You guys are clearly a bunch of chumps who are in no better financial situations.

Um, you're the one who is going to get drained by a parasite.

What's her income potential like? Where did she start out financially? These are important questions to ask as well. If she has paid for school and has no debt other than a car she's doing pretty well for a 30 y/o. Also at 30 many people are still in entry level positions, is there room for growth in her field?

It isn't absurd to have $0 net worth at thirty if she was in debt from medical school or something like that. I would think if you were working that is pretty bad though. Compounding interest is so powerful - so would start saving sooner rather than later.

Also doesn't having zero net worth make home ownership a bit harder?

Also it is always good to have rainy day money. What if your car breaks down? What if you break your arm and need physical therapy or something? What if you spill coffee on a suit to an interview?

70g wrote:

Flounder wrote:

She's definitely screwed if she stays with you.

Where do you get off calling her a parasite?

I didn't call her a parasite. I said if I were to marry her she would become one. I'm 31 and have a net worth of around $115,000. With such a huge mismatch in finances it's only natural that she will end up benefiting a great deal financially while I will lose a great deal financially. Yes, I understand as a man that's how it typically works, but it's generally not so lopsided, especially when kids are not even in the picture. Her financial skills are abysmal; mine are above average. I would rather be with someone closer to my level.

You guys are clearly a bunch of chumps who are in no better financial situations.

Finances don't make you a better/worse person. I hope, for her sake, that you break it off with her, as she's the one who seems to be taking a risk dating you. The numbers on the bottom of your bank statement shouldn't define a person.

70g wrote:

Flounder wrote:

She's definitely screwed if she stays with you.

Where do you get off calling her a parasite?

I didn't call her a parasite. I said if I were to marry her she would become one. I'm 31 and have a net worth of around $115,000. With such a huge mismatch in finances it's only natural that she will end up benefiting a great deal financially while I will lose a great deal financially. Yes, I understand as a man that's how it typically works, but it's generally not so lopsided, especially when kids are not even in the picture. Her financial skills are abysmal; mine are above average. I would rather be with someone closer to my level.

You guys are clearly a bunch of chumps who are in no better financial situations.

Well, I was going to offer a serious response, but since you resorted to name calling and belittling of other posters, you are not worth the trouble and are your own worst enemy.

Good luck in your relationship.

Curious earner wrote:

webby wrote:

I was flat broke at 30, but had accumulated nearly $1M at 40. At 50 I'm just working for satisfaction and maybe to fatten up my retirement income. My wife, who was in debt when we met for many years, has always pulled her weight and would be able to retire in her own right by 55 if she wanted. (She doesn't.)

Impressive. How did you manage that?

Just steady savings and careful investment. I didn't finish my PhD until I was nearly 40, but that's partly because I took on add much statistical consulting work as I could and had a full time job while writing my dissertation. My first $100,000 salary didn't come until I was 45.

I agree, you should cut this poor woman loose before you ruin the best years of her life.

I bet she voted for Bernie

Living a financially irresponsible life and willingly becoming a burden on your family and friends does make you a worse person than someone who found themselves penniless due to an expensive illness or some other unexpected costly tragedy. We all have a responsibility to behave with some discipline and to ensure we we have the means to meet our obligations to those around us and to pay our debts.

Net worth isn't really a meaningful indicator at that age. Earning potential is more relevant. A neurosurgery resident would likely have a hugely negative net worth at the age of 30, but obviously no one is dumping future brain surgeons over financial concerns.