Let's be real - people are just looking to date / marry the most attractive person they can get

ABC - always be closing! wrote:

That's what dating is - lots of pretension about finding the "right fit" but 90% of comes down to snagging the most attractive woman (or man) that is also attracted to you. The exception to this rule is gold-digging women, who will marry a troll for $$$

This used to be my mentality.

Then I turned 12.

There are other things besides physical appearance that (mature) people are attracted to. Intelligence, social view points, sense of humor, general interests, skill sets, pretty much all your general characteristics contribute to how attractive someone will find you. Physical appearance is just the catalyst usually.

I think the reason the divorce rate is so high is exactly this problem - people marry according to looks. which, if you think about it, is a seriously stupid way to pick someone you want to hang around for the rest of your life.

sure date for looks. but when it is time to marry put it aside. Because looks fade. but kindness doesn't.

ABC - always be closing! wrote:

That's what dating is - lots of pretension about finding the "right fit" but 90% of comes down to snagging the most attractive woman (or man) that is also attracted to you. The exception to this rule is gold-digging women, who will marry a troll for $$$

My guess is you are not married.

After 10 years even the most beautiful women becomes a little less beautiful, and not quit so hot to you (seen it all, done it all).

If you don't get along, then you are 1) headed for divorce, or 2) headed for misery.

You're best bet is to marry the person who you like to spent time with, share the same values, and would like even if you weren't having sex, but whom you also like to have sex with.

Physical love does not last. Emotional love can.

Great thread. OP well and truly put in his place and exposed as a 'lover' in theory but an inexperienced newbie in reality.

The op's theory does not hold true with sapiosexuals

Red Pill Giver wrote:

Dr. Reality wrote:

brains > any other factor

Uh, right. Ask women if they'd rather date Ryan Gosling or some Harvard Professor.

Right. Although, it could be argued that Ryan Gosling actually has more brains that our anonymous Harvard professor. This is because he realized the way to make big money, get a massive following, and have zero problems attracting potential mates was through Hollywood acting. Our doddering professor did not realize this and so makes less money, gets a much lower following, and attracts a much more restricted pool of potential mating partners. Case closed. Brains may be important, but if you don't know how to use your brain to your sexual advantage, then you're hooped. Thus, brains < any other factor. It's marketing 101.

Red Pill Giver wrote:

Dr. Reality wrote:

brains > any other factor

Uh, right. Ask women if they'd rather date Ryan Gosling or some Harvard Professor.

Better question would be marrying a Ryan Gosling lookalike grocery clerk vs an average-looking Harvard prof. Prof will win 99% of the time.

Cmon dude wrote:

Red Pill Giver wrote:

Close, but not entirely accurate. The rich man must still have GAME in order to get a hot woman. That's why smooth Donald Trump is surrounded by hot women while awkward Mark Zuckerberg is not.

Mark Zuckerberg is faithful to his wife, whereas I'm guessing that Donald Trump has not been his whole life.

I don't think you're making the point you were trying to make.

No duh. It's politically correct to say that dating is about finding a "match", while in reality most people hope to find someone who is out of their league. I would not turn down a date with Brie Felnagle.

ormaybenot wrote:

ABC - always be closing! wrote:

That's what dating is - lots of pretension about finding the "right fit" but 90% of comes down to snagging the most attractive woman (or man) that is also attracted to you. The exception to this rule is gold-digging women, who will marry a troll for $$$

My guess is you are not married.

After 10 years even the most beautiful women becomes a little less beautiful, and not quit so hot to you (seen it all, done it all).

If you don't get along, then you are 1) headed for divorce, or 2) headed for misery.

You're best bet is to marry the person who you like to spent time with, share the same values, and would like even if you weren't having sex, but whom you also like to have sex with.

Physical love does not last. Emotional love can.

But doesn't last if two people aren't willing to work on it after being together for several years.

As for finding the "right" mate, it has to be the whole package...looks (not drop dead or model type), brains, sense of humor, successful in life & affectionate & active. I know a lot to ask but I think you try to find someone you mirror but opposite sex, no? Just thinking out loud right now..:)

ABC - always be closing! wrote:

That's what dating is - lots of pretension about finding the "right fit" but 90% of comes down to snagging the most attractive woman (or man) that is also attracted to you. The exception to this rule is gold-digging women, who will marry a troll for $$$

Ain't dat da truth 😮 A chap could be homely with a beer-gut, man-boobs, etc, but if he's loaded he'll get the hottest women in town. Also, the multi-millionaire old geezers with broken down bodies, no teeth, hair growing out of their nose, etc, these cats get some of the hottest gals too. And in many cases lovely ladies half their age will do anything for them 😨

And if a guy makes a decent living, he'd better have movie star looks, a chiseled hunk body and charm to just get in the preliminary rounds with hot women. And if you're an average Joe without big bucks and great looks...it's hasta la vista baby 😞

People think there's "love" and all that stuff. Completely illusionary. It's all about the $$$ and great looks. The vast majority of women want killer looks and a fat wallet with a guy...nothing new there 😦

I won't lie. I married my wife cuz she's a dime. She is smart too but I really didn't care much about that. She is CRAZY by the way. That's okay too, because she's a DIME. I don't care that her looks will fade because she will always be 14 years younger than me. So compared to anyone my age she'll always look better.

I don't feel one bit bad about my reasons because I know she married me for $$$.

Since we both got what we are looking for out of life we are both happy, work very well together, support each other and love each other. 14 years married and three wonderful kids. All is great.

OP is correct. No one wants to admit it though because it's "shallow". As my wife states "true love or only one love is BS. You can love many different kinds of people and any relationship will be fulfilling if both parties want it to be, why not choose the partner who can afford a comfortable lifestyle for our children?" Spot on baby. Spot on.

I've dated a lot of different women, and I've dated some extremely beautiful women, including models. As for myself, I rate my appearance around a "6."

I am 48 years old now, and I can tell you that looks and even fantastic sexual performance cannot develop and sustain a great relationship that lasts long term.

For me, appearance alone is down the list of my priorities. Common interests, intelligence, personality, a positive disposition and a desire to improve, learn and explore are more important than physical beauty.

The reality is compatibility. Yes, looks can trigger attraction but it doesn't mean that it will last for long.

At the end of a day it comes down to mutual respect and understanding. We are all only humans.

From a woman's perspective, I would disagree. I dated someone for years who was much less good looking than myself and made roughly the same $ I do, but I loved him because of his sense of humour and intellect. I totally would have gotten married to him. Also, I have a lot of really good looking friends who aren't gold-diggers. One of my friends looks like a model, was a month away from getting married to a doctor, then called off the wedding when she found out he was cheating on her. She said she'd rather be poor than with someone like that.

Well Hello There wrote:

People are "attractive" for reasons other than looks, and some person who's cosmetically attractive by "model" standards may be so vacant or self-absorbed that she's not actually attractive to adults at all. I know. Big shock, huh?

Well said. +1