Can I save my marriage?

Thanks again. Will try my best

worth repeating wrote:

This needs repeating.

For too long in my marriage, I never truly listened to my wife. I thought I was listening, but I really wasn't hearing what she was saying and getting at. We all come into marriage with what we've seen firsthand in our parents' marriages. That's the main thing that influences our perspective on marriage. I tried to be such a good husband for my wife, but I was still missing the mark and very frustrated with her and marriage.

Best to you, your wife, and kids.

Thank you. Yes, I could probably work on these things too.

Good feedback thanks. Part of my hesitation with counseling is admitting I failed and things got this bad. But then again here I am posting advice from people I don't know so what's the difference.

KISS Method wrote:

Love her unconditionally.

It's being a real man when you can do that consistently

My wife punched me in the face and lip during an argument then destroyed my things and tried to get into my gun safe.

I'll take your advice and see what happens.

ok. wrote:

KISS Method wrote:

Love her unconditionally.

It's being a real man when you can do that consistently

My wife punched me in the face and lip during an argument then destroyed my things and tried to get into my gun safe.

I'll take your advice and see what happens.

BTW, this actually happened twice in the past year.

What would you guys do?

Pics???

ok. wrote:

ok. wrote:

My wife punched me in the face and lip during an argument then destroyed my things and tried to get into my gun safe.

I'll take your advice and see what happens.

BTW, this actually happened twice in the past year.

What would you guys do?

Move out now.

ok. wrote:

ok. wrote:

My wife punched me in the face and lip during an argument then destroyed my things and tried to get into my gun safe.

I'll take your advice and see what happens.

BTW, this actually happened twice in the past year.

What would you guys do?

Buy a trick gun and leave the safe open

ok. wrote:

ok. wrote:

My wife punched me in the face and lip during an argument then destroyed my things and tried to get into my gun safe.

I'll take your advice and see what happens.

BTW, this actually happened twice in the past year.

What would you guys do?

Not own a gun or marry a lunatic

Thanks for your feedback.

True story (unfortunately)...I'm actually in the process of moving my stuff out of the house into a storage unit. She has no idea. We have no kids, just 2 dogs. Been married 12 years and have been verbally abused a good part of it. I'm honestly not a wimpy guy at all, just don't know how to deal with people who use manipulative behavior to get their way. I'm finally waking up to reality and standing up for myself and my wife HATES it. Started getting violent about a year ago and became destructive, violent during a couple arguments when she tried to bully me.

GAME OVER

I'm gonna break the news to her sometime in January. Toughest part is pretending everything is fine, especially around the holidays.

Time to move on.

Thanks fellas, this thread has been fun but it seems to have exhausted itself, I'm heading off to another forum now.

getoutnow wrote:

ok. wrote:

BTW, this actually happened twice in the past year.

What would you guys do?

Move out now.

Yep. Get out of there. The OP indicated nothing about violence or threats in his post. Your situation is different if there is a threat of violence. Get out of there. And hopefully you didn't strike your wife back. Even if a women hits you hard, never strike back. And if she is trying to get a gun, get out of there.

ok. wrote:

Thanks for your feedback.

True story (unfortunately)...I'm actually in the process of moving my stuff out of the house into a storage unit. She has no idea. We have no kids, just 2 dogs. Been married 12 years and have been verbally abused a good part of it. I'm honestly not a wimpy guy at all, just don't know how to deal with people who use manipulative behavior to get their way. I'm finally waking up to reality and standing up for myself and my wife HATES it. Started getting violent about a year ago and became destructive, violent during a couple arguments when she tried to bully me.

GAME OVER

I'm gonna break the news to her sometime in January. Toughest part is pretending everything is fine, especially around the holidays.

Time to move on.

And, if you haven't already, get a lawyer.

yeppers wrote:

Yep. Get out of there. The OP indicated nothing about violence or threats in his post. Your situation is different if there is a threat of violence. Get out of there. And hopefully you didn't strike your wife back. Even if a women hits you hard, never strike back. And if she is trying to get a gun, get out of there.

Nope, I never hit her back. I'm too smart for that. I started documenting her behavior over the past year including photos of the bruise on my cheek, a bloody lip, a broken lamp, 2 broken guitars (broken in half!) , a neon sign and other items.

I do have a lawyer and he said Thank God you didn't have kids with this woman. No $hit!

ok. wrote:

KISS Method wrote:

Love her unconditionally.

It's being a real man when you can do that consistently

My wife punched me in the face and lip during an argument then destroyed my things and tried to get into my gun safe.

Pics? Sounds HOT!!!

BTW, our friends and family know how my wife can be sometimes (bossy) but have no idea how violent she can be when she gets angry. It's frightening.

Right now, I'm looking out for my dogs which have been a source of stability in our marriage. Very smart, loving dogs. I'm afraid if I take them, she'll go crazy, so I'm hoping we can share the responsibility of caring for them. Down side is I will have to stay in contact with her. She normal 95% of the time, but has bad anger issues.

ok. wrote:

BTW, our friends and family know how my wife can be sometimes (bossy) but have no idea how violent she can be when she gets angry. It's frightening.

Tell me she has pierced labia, I'm close.

Lisa Boubsalot wrote:

Tell me she has pierced labia, I'm close.

Not sure I understand the joke, but no she doesn't.

ok. wrote:

Thanks for your feedback.

True story (unfortunately)...I'm actually in the process of moving my stuff out of the house into a storage unit. She has no idea. We have no kids, just 2 dogs. Been married 12 years and have been verbally abused a good part of it. I'm honestly not a wimpy guy at all, just don't know how to deal with people who use manipulative behavior to get their way. I'm finally waking up to reality and standing up for myself and my wife HATES it. Started getting violent about a year ago and became destructive, violent during a couple arguments when she tried to bully me.

GAME OVER

I'm gonna break the news to her sometime in January. Toughest part is pretending everything is fine, especially around the holidays.

Time to move on.

No better time than the present to move on, seriously. You should have made your escape the moment the verbal abuse began. There's no excuse for verbal or physical abuse no matter how angry or emotionally hurt she may be feeling.