Lost my soul mate and it's all my fault. How do I get her back?

I have her soul now mate. Thanks for being an idiot.

You lost your sole mate?

Order a new one:

https://www.socklady.com/

Why does Flagpole always use "Brother" in his posts. It's a dead give away when posting under different handles not to mention he's not your brother.

You're not Hulk Hogan, brother.

mypredictor wrote:

I wont bother to advise you what to do because it sounds like you're trying hard to let her know you love her and you're sorry, and there's nothing more you can do than that. But I will say you need to console yourself that 1. People make mistakes however terrible and if she doesn't come back she simply doesn't love you at the same level you love her, and 2. There's no such thing as a soulmate. There are varying levels of affection and trust and when you put together high levels of each, you are in love. I hope you're able to get her back, but if you don't you'll be fine and will most likely find another great relationship one day. Good luck.

Okay, alright already. I made a poor word choice is saying I lost my 'soul mate'. I simply meant that we had a connection unlike any other. We both have been in various past relationships, married and divorced to other people, etc. We're not 18 year olds and we certainly didn't lose our virginity to each other.

The thing is, we were so connected on many levels: intellectually, similar sense of humor, shared experiences, education level, we spoke in short hand, could finish each other's sentences and it was as though we'd known each other for years. We were cut from the same cloth. When it was good between us, we were ecstatic.

I was insecure over something, (an ongoing issue we'd argued about) and did some bullshit, "come here, go away" stupidity, and then in order to self-sabatoage the relationship, (because I was struggling and suffering, and wanted to finally end it) I made her look bad in her area of professional expertise. I'm not going into specifics here, but it was a really shitting thing I did and if I could somehow rewind what happened over a year ago, and take back my actions, I would.

Does any of this make sense? I've worked through most of this with a therapist and I still love her. I think of her daily. I wake up thinking of her, and I go to sleep thinking of her.

Someone said that perhaps she would be better off without me trying to return to her life. Maybe that's true. I would just like to make amends.

Still in Love wrote:I would just like to make amends.

You are lying to yourself. You can't make yourself feel better by somehow getting her back or some B.S. apology, or whatever you are making up.

Live with it and move on.

You think she hasn't moved on?

I did something similar, and was met with a similar response. That was years ago. Took me about a year and another relationship to move on from it. Still think about her when I'm single.

The best thing you can do is learn from it and move on. Reach out in a year or two but let time heal for now.

letsrun morans wrote:

You think she hasn't moved on?

I know she's done somethings to move on- like traveled, gone out with one of her ex-boyfriends, continued on in her profession, continued running and racing, but I know that she loved me. I just wondered if there was anyone on this board who's done something similar and actually mended a broken relationship with someone they loved.

Sadly, I'm starting to realize that if you're on this board on a Saturday night, this must be your best option for a social life as well.

Did anyone ever see that episode of South Park about wrestling and how, like a soap opera, the boys would act and throw verbal insults at each other but never actually do any wrestling/fighting. LRC is becoming just like this, half the threads about actually running issues are empty, but threads on romance, politics and other socioeconomic topics take on a life of their own.

Look if you can find her, and you actually love her then tell her you love her (I'm hoping you are older than 25 because otherwise this is just some wood in your pants). You will soon find out her response, if she has moved on you should to.

So you were intentionally trying to end the relationship -- it worked -- but now you want her back?

Still in Love wrote:

letsrun morans wrote:

You think she hasn't moved on?

I know she's done somethings to move on- like traveled, gone out with one of her ex-boyfriends, continued on in her profession, continued running and racing, but I know that she loved me. I just wondered if there was anyone on this board who's done something similar and actually mended a broken relationship with someone they loved.

Sadly, I'm starting to realize that if you're on this board on a Saturday night, this must be your best option for a social life as well.

Get your stereo, show up at her bedroom window and raise the stereo, with conviction, while it plays Justin Bieber's "sorry."

If this is not a reasonable option, text her a short but effective message to make her think of a good time you had together that was exciting and very good sex. So then she will miss it and feel regret.

Your best bet is to put your pride/ego on the shelf, and apoloigize to her in person for ALL the ways you wronged her and explain to her why you still want her in your life. If there is no way this can happen in person, then I second whoever said to write her a letter.

This takes some real risk and real humility as she could easily reject you and your apology and just tell you to f*** off, those are the worst case scenarios. Best case scenario is she forgives you (and if she has a brain, she will do so ONLY if you change the behavior that caused all of this in the first place, otherwise she'll chalk you up to being a liar on top of everything else, then any chance of reconciliation is lost for good, guaranteed) and you're both able to patch things up over time. Depending on the severity of the situation, this could be a very long time. Up to you to decide if it is worth the potential huge blow to your ego. I can say however that even if she rejects your apology, she will have a certain respect for you for doing so, even if she'll never admit it. Good luck.

Stick a safety pin through your lip and move on.