Anybody know if he ran at Heps this past weekend?
Anybody know if he ran at Heps this past weekend?
Just found it, he was Yale's #7 at Heps. Huge loss, will be thinking of he family and teammates.
The implication is that most ways someone would die suddenly and unexpectedly (Heart attack, stroke, car accident) you would just say how they died instead of saying "they died suddenly and unexpectedly." If it wasn't suicide it would have to be something pretty embarrassing to not say what it was.
The more I read this the more I wonder if he didn't die from alcohol poisoning or an OD.
1) Halloween is the biggest party weekend of the year in college.
2) This kid sounds like a popular kid, not some loner or a guy struggling with depression. He just ran at his conference championship.
3) He was takent to the hospital.
former ivy leaguer wrote:
The more I read this the more I wonder if he didn't die from alcohol poisoning or an OD.
1) Halloween is the biggest party weekend of the year in college.
2) This kid sounds like a popular kid, not some loner or a guy struggling with depression. He just ran at his conference championship.
3) He was takent to the hospital.
it happened on Oct 30th so wouldnt be Halloween. If it was a hanging, maybe they got him to the hospital but weren't able to treat the cervical spine damage/asphyxiation in time?
Ignore if already posted.
former ivy leaguer wrote:
The more I read this the more I wonder if he didn't die from alcohol poisoning or an OD.
True, we have not seen definitive word, so this discussion may be way off base for this death.
2) This kid sounds like a popular kid, not some loner or a guy struggling with depression. He just ran at his conference championship.
"Depression" is unfortunately a confusing word, because it usually means 1 of 2 quite different things:
1. "Exogenous" depression - feeling sad/down because of recent negative events (death of family/friend, breakup with spouse/girlfriend, lost job, injury, etc.). The good part about this kind of depression is that it goes away when events turn back positive, or if the person adjusts their expectations.
2. "Clinical" depression - you wake up sad/down every day, unrelated to recent events. One could say "sad for no reason". This is the very dangerous form, difficult to treat, often long term but can have short onset, painful, and many suicides result from it. The person often covers it up by smiling and acting happy/normal.
I ran in the same high school conference as Hale. I was a couple of years older than him but still remember him. I have been sort of out of touch from the MAC running alumni grapevine and so I was shocked to open up letsrun and see this news.
Hale was the third Ross brother to make a huge impact on MAC running (Johns and Campbell, his older brothers, were also stars). I think because of his name everyone in the league sort of expected him to be a stud right away. I remember that he really didn't seem to shy away from those expectations, he would fearlessly mix it up with guys older than him. This wasn't just freshmen foolishness either, he was GOOD and could handle a pace and kick at the end. I graduated before he had a chance to dominate (which he did) but I heard that he continued to run from the front with tenacity. He also had a reputation for being a real class-act: the kind of guy who got to know his rivals at other schools, became their friend, and shook their hand after every race. He was well-liked by runners and coaches from every team in our conference, and in the last couple of years I have had conversations with other MAC running alumni where we talked about how well Hale was running at Yale, and how it was awesome and he deserved the success.
Finally, I remember that Hale really seemed happy racing. A lot of guys just race because they like to win, but Hale really seemed to race simply because he loved going out and running fast. I think there was a picture, that I hope someone finds, of him at the front of the pack at a conference championship meet with a big smile on his face.
There's been a lot of speculation on this thread about whether his death was suicide or not. Not that a death due to other causes is any "better", but I really do hope it was not suicide. It would sadden me greatly to learn that such a happy, youthful, and kind spirit like his had become cloudy. If that is the case, then I do really hope that his soul finds peace and that his family can too.
There are probably other MAC (and Ivy) runners who have other memories of Hale, and certainly those who know him better than I did (which, again, is not very well) but I know that all the runners and coaches of the MAC running community and DC area private school running community will miss him.
Pauline Phillips wrote:
Does anyone remember a letsrun thread from last week that was posted by an anonymous ivy league student athlete asking for help with depression and suicidal thoughts? I wonder if it was Hale Ross. Myself and a few others posted on it offering help and advice but it was shut down within a day.
We checked that IP address at the time and it was from a southern state, not New Haven, CT where Yale is. The thread also didn't mentioned anything about being an Ivy League student.
Our policy for threads like that is to delete them and put an alert to that IP address telling them life is precious, to contact a suicide hotline, a suicide website or email us.
I met Hale a couple of times. My son knew him well.
What a truly great young man he was. Not only did he get into Yale purely on academics (which is ridiculously difficult), he was so very well liked by his peers. The Potomac School Senior class voted for him to give their commencement address. He also excelled as a runner, mixing it up with DMVs best, which was no mean feat coming from a program that doesn't traditionally produce state caliber runners. He had no one on his team to push him (he ran 15:35, his next closest teammate was at 17:04 in 2013), yet he still pushed himself.
I'm still in shock and feel absolutely awful for his parents and brothers.
While I doubt they're reading LRC threads at this tragic time, I'm sending out my deepest condolences to them.
Hale, you will be sorely missed...
I still cant believe this has happened..I watched Hale run all through HS and what others have said about him is very true. Hale was very unique in ways that are going to be missed by many. He was a mentor to many other runners and a model of sportsmanship and kindness that I have rarely seen in my years around HS sports..I remember standing next to his family during a indoor state final of the 3200m and hearing the support and cheers coming from them..Im thinking of them now and how terribly hard this will be on them as well as all his friends that he gathered to him during his time at the Potomac School and Yale.. I think the outpouring of grief says so much about Hale..that he in his short time impacted so many with the way he conducted himself on a daily basis..How he so easily reached out to others and would share a moment of success or at times console a team mate or friend who didnt have a good race..Cant tell you how many times I saw that happen...I will miss Hale very much...
Suicidal depression is no different than say destructive alcohol or chemical dependency in a charismatic and successful person. It defies comprehension in others -- such as all of us participating in this thread -- who are not afflicted by deadly depression or addiction. It would make some kind of logical sense in a person objectively struggling in life, for example a person who has trouble making friends and/or is failing in school or employment. But in a person who is well-liked, socially engaged and successful by any objective or subjective measure? However and again, the illness which causes deadly depression or addiction is something an emotionally healthy person cannot begin to understand. I also believe it is up to a surviving family to decide whether to share exactly what happened and by remaining silent they are by no means contributing to the stigma which unfortunately can attach to mental health issues. For people who are dogged by persistent personal unhappiness (it must be like a terrible headache that never lets up?) despite circumstances which would make anybody else highly content, I don't think talking about suicide or addiction changes anything. That is the whole problem. Deadly depression and addiction defy all reason (for example, genuinely compassionate and smart people who commit suicide know they will inflict terrible pain on family and friends but they go ahead anyways) and there is no reasoning with the pathologically depressed or addicted person. Not to say suicide is inevitable but just that it can be bigger than any of us and that despite best efforts and all available resources, there unfortunately are situations nobody cannot control or change. My heart is absolutely broken for Hale and his family. He indeed was everything people have said or written and his death is a terrible tragedy.
Soprano wrote:
Pauline Phillips wrote:Does anyone remember a letsrun thread from last week that was posted by an anonymous ivy league student athlete asking for help with depression and suicidal thoughts? I wonder if it was Hale Ross. Myself and a few others posted on it offering help and advice but it was shut down within a day.
We checked that IP address at the time and it was from a southern state, not New Haven, CT where Yale is. The thread also didn't mentioned anything about being an Ivy League student.
Our policy for threads like that is to delete them and put an alert to that IP address telling them life is precious, to contact a suicide hotline, a suicide website or email us.
Thanks for this. Good to know it wasn't the same guy. And that's a good policy.
Hale was a pleasure to coach and always gave it his "all"...loved for his kindness by his teammates. Thank you for you note!
I was his high school coach. thank you everyone for the kind thoughts. I usually only read and not post. I appreciate how the thread has stayed positive. he meant a lot to a lot of people.
havegoats wrote:
I was his high school coach. thank you everyone for the kind thoughts. I usually only read and not post. I appreciate how the thread has stayed positive. he meant a lot to a lot of people.
Your eulogy was honestly one of the most moving things I have ever heard, truly beautiful. Gave me chills.
Today we learned that Hale's father has written an excellent nearly 4,000 word personal essay for the Yale Daily News entitled, "“The Dark Lining of the Prefontaine Mantra: Lessons from Hale Ross’ life at Yale.”
In it he wonders if trying to live by Pre's mantra of "“to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift” can take a psychological toll.
LetsRun.com wrote:
Today we learned that Hale's father has written an excellent nearly 4,000 word personal essay for the Yale Daily News entitled, "“The Dark Lining of the Prefontaine Mantra: Lessons from Hale Ross’ life at Yale.”
In it he wonders if trying to live by Pre's mantra of "“to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift” can take a psychological toll.
https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2018/05/05/the-dark-lining-of-the-prefontaine-mantra-lessons-from-hale-ross-life-at-yale/
Good read. What a terrible tragedy to happen. Personally, I have suffered depression for the last few years of my life and one of the ways I have managed to cope is telling myself it is okay to fail.
I think our society puts too much expectation on kids to succeed all the time and when they hit a road block, people will often tear that person down( you see this is running very often when guys, and especially girls, don’t perform).
I think we should be supportive and optimistic for people to succeed but caring and understanding when they don’t. You never know what pushes people over the edge. It’s unfortunate that so often these signs are hard to see and people hide them very well. That’s why it’s nice this issue is being addressed. RIP Hale. You inspired many. You won’t be forgotten.
Perhaps this is the wrong place to debate this, but why do we tend to keep method of death such a secret when we all know it's the first thing we wonder when reading about someone who has died? I get it's the family's right to decide and if they don't want it to be known that's fine, but I tend to think we typically just do it out of tradition. Not that this is of any real consequence, but I want however I die to be clearly stated in my obituary cause the last thing I want people to do is wonder what happened, that's not fair to them.
CGBatch wrote:
Perhaps this is the wrong place to debate this, but why do we tend to keep method of death such a secret when we all know it's the first thing we wonder when reading about someone who has died?
Because seeing "suicide" in the news triggers suicides. It's science. For example, there was a surge in suicides shortly after Robin Williams died.
Talk about depression all you want, it's a good thing. It raises awareness and helps more people seek help.
Don't talk about suicide. It's not helpful to those suffering from depression and/or suicidal thoughts.
For you that's reading this: please seek help. You can't see it now but life is worth living.