Dating someone seriously even though you both know it won't work out? Needing some input.

Double rubbers and enjoy life. If your moving to go to grad school later this experience will help you loosen up in your future relationships with women.

This is a life experience and contrary to some peoples religious experiences there is nothing wrong with mental and physical experiences with the opposite (or same to some of you) sex. These experiences help one build a base for marriage in life. As most of the guys can tell you if a girl says she is on birth control double up on condoms for your own protection. (I have at least 10 friends whose girlfriends got pregnant on birth cotrol). Double condoms always have worked and may even make sex better due to less sensitivity.

Got bored pretty quickly and just left the site and to Redtube. Honestly, consider the time with her as great and move on the next great girls in your life.

Honestly sounds like you are attracted to this woman because of her motherly characteristics, more life experience, and emotional maturity compared to the typical 20-something in is your dating range. That's fine, we all have wants, needs, emotions, and desires at different points in our life. Considering what has occurred in your life in the past year, it's understandable why you are attracted to this woman.

The essential question is should enjoy this while it lasts or force yourself to move on? Emotion and sex cloud our reasonable judgment. A younger version of myself would tell you to drag out the sex as long as possible until you find someone more suited to your long term relationship preferences. My current self tells you that you shouldn't waste time with someone you know there isn't a future with, because you have the ability to create connection and strong relationships with many women that you date, the idea of a special someone is a fantasy.

Being alone in this world can be scary. I would if that is your main concern.

She is doing someone else. Sorry to tell you. She doesn't want to be serious with you. She wants serious with someone else and will pursue it.

Oh yea, if she really was dead set on not having more kids, she would get her tubes tied or use another more secure and less frequent form of birth control than the pill.

At this point in my life I'd definitely take choice #2, as either choice can very easily become permanent.

Oldie wrote:

As most of the guys can tell you if a girl says she is on birth control double up on condoms for your own protection. (I have at least 10 friends whose girlfriends got pregnant on birth cotrol). Double condoms always have worked and may even make sex better due to less sensitivity.

That helps to protect against breakage, but not leaking. In any case, I would not be comfortable with that method.

Vivalarepublica wrote:

Oh yea, if she really was dead set on not having more kids, she would get her tubes tied or use another more secure and less frequent form of birth control than the pill.

Double bag it and pull out.

I am definitely attracted to her for her motherly qualities. This girl just loves things. That's what she does. She showed me more love in the first month we dated than most people ever do. Yeah, I know emotions are clouding my judgement, I get that, but at the same time, I also know that I am objectively happier having her in my life. I have no one. That's why it was so overwhelming for me. I know what it's like to lose someone you love. It's horrible even when you still have other loved ones in your life, but when it's the only last loved one you have... It can make finding a reason to keep going pretty difficult.

There is a chance for an unplanned pregnancy with regular sex, but if I don't date her, I'll be having casual sex with other girls. At least if I conceived with her it'd be with someone I actually care about.

I will still consider both of your takes, and I appreciate the input.

FWIW, my buddy started casually seeing an older woman (who had three kids by two different dads) 12 years ago. They're now married and have a kid of their own. So, it's not unrealistic that it could work out. But it sounds like you two just like to buck.

Manny Jack wrote:

There is a chance for an unplanned pregnancy with regular sex, but if I don't date her, I'll be having casual sex with other girls. At least if I conceived with her it'd be with someone I actually care about.

Well then, happy fatherhood.

It's inevitable wrote:

Manny Jack wrote:

There is a chance for an unplanned pregnancy with regular sex, but if I don't date her, I'll be having casual sex with other girls. At least if I conceived with her it'd be with someone I actually care about.

Well then, happy fatherhood.

Only 2% of women will become pregnant over the course of a year using the condom method. Paired with birth control that number goes to approximately 0%. I hardly consider that inevitable assuming we'll be together two years at the absolute longest.

Manny Jack wrote:

Only 2% of women will become pregnant over the course of a year using the condom method. Paired with birth control that number goes to approximately 0%. I hardly consider that inevitable assuming we'll be together two years at the absolute longest.

The condom is only 78 percent effective.

You seem very intent on deluding yourself.

Lala land wrote:

Manny Jack wrote:

Only 2% of women will become pregnant over the course of a year using the condom method. Paired with birth control that number goes to approximately 0%. I hardly consider that inevitable assuming we'll be together two years at the absolute longest.

The condom is only 78 percent effective.

You seem very intent on deluding yourself.

"If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they're 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. But people aren't perfect, so in real life condoms are about 82% effective — that means about 18 out of 100 people who use condoms as their only birth control method will get pregnant each year."

I have never had a mishap. She is on birth control as well. Even with haphazard use, when used in combination the chance is nearly zero. One can further decrease the risk by keeping track of the woman's cycle... They teach this stuff in junior high.

Manny Jack wrote:

They teach this stuff in junior high.

Now we know where you're getting your fool proof methods.

Yea, if someone shows you love and makes you happy and you get along well, why would you want to leave that situation? Especially at a time when you have lost people that you care about. Quite frankly, that's what so many of us are looking for, but have trouble finding and creating. That definitely can make the situation more difficult.

If you ultimately determine that the situation is not right in the long run, have faith in your ability to create a similar relationship with a different woman in the future. If you were able to form something meaningful and supportive and happy and all that stuff, you certainly can do it again.

I think many of us have been in relationship situations that were perfectly fine and enjoyable, but we knew were not the best fit for each of our long term desires and goals. I am sure you will do whatever you know will work best for you, I cannot tell you exactly what to do.

Manny Jack wrote:

Pulling out wrote:

A friend of mine used that method of birth control in high school, and the girl got pregnant.

Dude, if you're going to argue against the efficacy of condoms in combination with birth control, just don't bother posting.

You're the one who mentioned halfway consistent birth control.