I'll Tell It wrote:
Manny Jack wrote:
If anyone has thoughtful input, I would very much appreciate it. Thank you in advance.
Let me tell you a story about the life of my good friend:
Let's call him "Jim." Jim was always the guy in my high school group who never had a girlfriend. He was decent looking and nice, but he was a little bit immature and never very good at sports, so he just never connected with any of the girls. The thing is, he was very smart, so in college he began to come into his own and started dating women. At first he went for not-so-attractive ones, but soon he got more comfortable and started taking some chances with a few 7s or 8s. He got shot down a few times and lost his confidence and kind of clammed back up for a few years during grad school and the first few years of his employment. He worked hard and made good money, but he lived on his own and didn't have many friends in his new town. The whole thing was kind of depressing. One day he calls to tell me about this new woman that he was dating. I lived about two hours away so my wife and I visited him one evening and we all went out to dinner. The girl was very, very attractive and seemed really nice. Over dinner, it comes out that she has two kids: 9 and 12. Two different fathers. She told us the stories and they were your normal "oops" stories but she loved her kids and so forth...
So a few more years go by and they get engaged. I am happy for my buddy, but I feel like I should ask a few questions about the other guys since my buddy's parents are no longer living and he doesn't really have anyone to ride his ass about these kinds of things. He says they are both losers who still live in the same town. So alarms go off in my head, right? Two losers who have kids with your wife living in your town? I ask him about it and he says there are no issues.
They get married and within a month of the wedding he gets harassed at dinner with his family. One of the dads comes in drunk and starts to talk junk to my friend for trying to steal his "baby girl" (the 12 year old). These things continue to happen and they have to move, and now it is all about legal problems that keep emerging. They get all kinds of legal threats and have to spend money on lawyers all of the time. Meanwhile the poor kids.
Keep in mind that my buddy "Jim" is a normal upper-middle class guy with an advanced degree and a really good job who has no idea how to handle these roughnecks. It is a nightmare.
That sounds almost like a story specifically about me. Thank you. One of the baby-daddies is potentially violent, so yeah, it's been going on in my head. I don't need these sorts of slack-jaws in my life. That's another reason why I know it's not going to be long term; I don't want to deal with that crap.
You sound like a genuinely good friend, btw.