My female coworker has lost a ton of weight, my supervisor wants me to talk to her

Also she seems happy.

Pics?

I wouldn't say anything to her since you are not on a personal level with her and she seems happy. BUT if she starts to look sickly/unhappy I would privately ask her if everything was okay with her health. Say you noticed she lost some weight and you didn't know whether it was from exercise or if something was up and you are just concerned. Do NOT berate her in any way with comments like "God you are too skinny" or "you need to gain some weight." I had some health issues at times that caused me to lose weight and it always bothered me when people would pick on me for it and tell me I needed to gain weight. I was well aware that I had lost weight and I didn't need people to point it out to me, especially in mean ways. Is there someone at work she is closer with on a personal level that could confront her? Does your wife have any ideas? I know I had a coworker once that people were concerned about the same thing with her and they wanted me to talk to her. I never asked directly but I knew she was going through a ton of stress in her personal life and sure enough she eventually regained weight once her life got less crazy.

Pics? wrote:

Pics?

Actually it would be appropriate for this thread to see if readers felt she was so thin to be an issue.

work issue wrote:

Pics? wrote:

Pics?

Actually it would be appropriate for this thread to see if readers felt she was so thin to be an issue.

Except it would be inappropriate to post pics of someone on the Internet for all to see, in relation to such a topic without their knowledge.

Actually she has heard those comments frequently particularly from people who don't see her regularly. And they are always women saying that stuff to her. "My god you're hardly there" She responded, "I'm here" They also talk behind her back. I almost think she didn't want to eat in front of everybody because they might be watching to see what she eats. But maybe not. During lunch she seemed to emphasize to me that she eats a lot and she said she hadn't done exercise in a week because she moved into a new house.

My boss would like me to ask her if everything is ok but if I don't feel comfortable doing it he's ok with that too. If she needed help I'd want to give her help but I think it would come off insulting.

Iagree wrote:

work issue wrote:

Actually it would be appropriate for this thread to see if readers felt she was so thin to be an issue.

Except it would be inappropriate to post pics of someone on the Internet for all to see, in relation to such a topic without their knowledge.

Obviously I would never do that. I guess if I found of picture of someone of similar build that would be helpful.

Aww I hope she isn't hiding to eat because of onlookers:( damn women (and I am one!) they are probably jealous of her. If they cared about her they would do less talking behind her back and more talking to her face.

Yeah, go with your gut. Don't say anything if it makes you feel uncomfortable. And the fact that she ate fine in front of you is a good thing. She clearly feels comfortable around you which is a good thing. I mean, I know women who have been anorexic/bulimic and unless they are freeing up that info, you just go about being a good friend. Eating disorders are often the result of shit hitting the fan in other areas of life (or they did in the past) so just being a comfortable person for a sufferer to be around is a really good thing.

I'm surprised I am the first to respond this way but here it goes. DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO HER.

You aren't her supervisor and you aren't in HR as near as I can tell. Any comment at all regarding her body or her looks can be misconstrued as sexual harassment. She is an adult and is responsible for her own health and actions. It is the responsibility of her friends, family, and significant others to tell her that they are concerned for her. You don't have that relationship, so don't pretend you do. Tell your supervisor you are uncomfortable getting involved her her personal life if they ask you to intervene. Any type of interference on your own accord is asking for trouble.

Don't say anything wrote:

I'm surprised I am the first to respond this way but here it goes. DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO HER.

You aren't her supervisor and you aren't in HR as near as I can tell. Any comment at all regarding her body or her looks can be misconstrued as sexual harassment. She is an adult and is responsible for her own health and actions. It is the responsibility of her friends, family, and significant others to tell her that they are concerned for her. You don't have that relationship, so don't pretend you do. Tell your supervisor you are uncomfortable getting involved her her personal life if they ask you to intervene. Any type of interference on your own accord is asking for trouble.

^^^Correct Answer!!!

Big no. Employers should not be asking employees about medical issues. He is asking you because you knows he could get in trouble for asking.

For all you know, she could be losing weight because she has cancer and whether she has cancer is of no concern of her employer.

Don't say anything wrote:

Tell your supervisor you are uncomfortable getting involved her her personal life if they ask you to intervene. Any type of interference on your own accord is asking for trouble.

I would also report the supervisor's request to one step higher, HR or both. The supervisor is incompetent and way out of line. If you're not working in very small company there should be clear process how to take care of employees' (possible) health issues.

Yep, if in a big company consider to go above their head. They are totally out of line. Ignore it and you may be targeted for layoffs. If a small company, different story, but still you don't ask inappropriate questions to your co-workers.

work issue wrote:

She was always thin and fit but now I would guess her to be well under 100 lbs.

First of all it is not your place to say anything, and the supervisor should not have asked you to inquire.

Many years ago when I worked in an office, the overweight women would trade recipes to lose weight. I said if you really want to lose weight, you should ask Marian, instead of trading with each other. Marian was a trim young woman from Japan. One of the women turned to Marian and asked, "how did you get so skinny?" at which she burst out laughing, then explained, that in country her friends called her "Fatty." She rattled off the weights of her friends, 83, 87, 82, 88, 91 pounds, all very light compared to her 96 pounds.

People in healthy countries have a different perspective of weight than Americans.

Don't say anything. Maybe she has tapeworms and doesn't want to talk about it

I don't know - it seems there should be a way to go about something like this without making it into a national security breach. I think if I was going thru something affecting my health or happiness to the point it was physically visible and none of the people I spend the majority of my waking hours cared enough to see if I was ok that it would be a little disheartening. But it sounds like people have said stuff to her and she has denied any issues so no need to keep asking.

Um, what makes you qualified to discuss a potential eating disorder with a co-worker? (I know the boss asked you to do it).

This is highly inappropriate on so many levels.

Some may say that it is not the employer's business, but I can argue that it is. Productivity could be an issue. If a worker were having a drug/alcohol issue then it would be appropriate to discuss.

I have a number, not a name wrote:

Don't say anything wrote:

Tell your supervisor you are uncomfortable getting involved her her personal life if they ask you to intervene. Any type of interference on your own accord is asking for trouble.

I would also report the supervisor's request to one step higher, HR or both. The supervisor is incompetent and way out of line. If you're not working in very small company there should be clear process how to take care of employees' (possible) health issues.

Its not like that. He was just concerned and he knew I was the closest person to her at work. As I said, if I don't say anything he's OK with that. He's just trying to help.

She doesn't have cancer, she reports exercises quite a bit so I don't think illness is involved, of course I could be wrong on that.

No I am not qualified to discuss eating issues. But I could offer support and direction to someone who could help (IF I FELT THIS WAS APPROPRIATE AND HELPFUL).

I probably won't say anything.