A guy asked me out and asked if I wanted to get coffee or lunch or go on a run. Thoughts on this?

Oh come on people, as usual this post brings out the anger and vitriol and bruised egos. I'm out of town this weekend so we will probably meet sometime next week when I get back. As promised I will update.

getting advice for lrc... wrote:

Oh come on people, as usual this post brings out the anger and vitriol and bruised egos. I'm out of town this weekend so we will probably meet sometime next week when I get back. As promised I will update.

Bruised egos? Try self-congratulation from those of us pleased to have avoided spending time with someone like you.

You have really nailed the oh-so precious combination of selfishness, borderline autism and frank stupidity. Bravo!

getting advice for lrc... wrote:

Oh come on people, as usual this post brings out the anger and vitriol and bruised egos. I'm out of town this weekend so we will probably meet sometime next week when I get back. As promised I will update.

I'm not angry but greatly amused. I don't know any women who talk like the OP and with the responses this is one of the great troll threads I read LRC for.

How has this not been posted?

https://youtu.be/-skZx5liyaM

Whenever I see posts like this where guys are like "no woman would talk like that", it makes me realize that the stereotypes are true that the guys on here seem to have talked to very few women.

I've been on this messageboard for a while (but under different usernames because you can bet I don't want to be identified) and I know many women who also use/read these messageboards but similarly do not reveal their gender in a post unless there's a specific need to do so.

this nonsense still going on? wrote:

I'm not angry but greatly amused. I don't know any women who talk like the OP and with the responses this is one of the great troll threads I read LRC for.

As I said, I went for a run with a woman who sounded exactly like the OP. I should say that the idea to go for a run together was hers though, not mine. It is easily in my top 5 worst dates, based entirely on her personality.

getting advice for lrc... wrote:

Whenever I see posts like this where guys are like "no woman would talk like that", it makes me realize that the stereotypes are true that the guys on here seem to have talked to very few women.

I've been on this messageboard for a while (but under different usernames because you can bet I don't want to be identified) and I know many women who also use/read these messageboards but similarly do not reveal their gender in a post unless there's a specific need to do so.

My apologies, I know for a fact you are a woman. I'm an older reader, from your parents' generation. Good luck on your date, however you decide to handle it.

There's quite a bit of trolling on here so I figured this was more of it. Here are the things which made me suspicious from the first post:

-Most women are relationship oriented rather than task oriented and wouldn't complain about a run turning into a jogfest.

-Very few women would say they don't like small talk.

-Most women enjoy when someone takes an interest in their activities.

Again I don't think these traits are uncommon for women. Many women I know agree that they would rather get into a deeper conversation than make endless small talk. These days if I go to a bar or anywhere else I prefer to go to one where I can hear the conversation and get into the deeper, longer conversations. The night clubs with loud music, etc. don't appeal to me. I know many women who feel similarly.

I must also admit that because I have been here long enough I know the jokes about "jogfest" and "hobbyjogger" so I incorporated a little bit of that. I am completely fine with jogging 9-10 min pace for a few miles and chatting but in my experience some of these people can't even do that or overestimate their fitness. I enjoy getting into deep conversations on runs but there has to be some minimum base level of fitness and I think a lot of you guys on here overestimate what that is for the general population.

I think it's great when someone takes an interest in my activities but again a minimum level of base fitness helps.

OK, then. Good luck! Deep conversations might be a bit intense for a first date, so I suggest you don't totally write off the small talk.

well then wrote:

Just don't fvcking run at all. Meet for coffee or a drink or something and have a nice conversation. There, it's sorted. /thread.

If this is real, there's a good reason you're single. Take a HUGE step back and try to enjoy life.

Seems simple. You have three options.

1) It's not that hard to find out how far/fast the other person runs or tell them how fast you run.

"I'd love to go for a run. I usually run X miler at X pace, is that something you'd want to do?"

Or you could add "I don't mind running a bit slower Y miles at Y pace, so if you're up for either of those lets for for a run."

Or "I'd love to go for a run, how far/fast do you usually run?"

2) Go to coffee and ask about running.

3) Be willing to run a lot slower than you normally do just like the guy who met his wife doing that.

Let's get down to it, what then is a reasonable pace for this dude to run without throwing you off? 6min/mi? 7min/min? for 5mi? 10mi?

cheap thrills wrote:

Let's get down to it, what then is a reasonable pace for this dude to run without throwing you off? 6min/mi? 7min/min? for 5mi? 10mi?

This took too long - we do need to know PB's, weekly mileage, height and weight - impossible to reply without more info

I'm fine running as slow as 9-10 min pace (well 10 is really slow... but whatever). I think you guys overestimate the average fitness of someone, especially when it comes to running distance. You'd be surprised at how many people can't keep that pace for more than 2 miles.

Either way... second date should be Netflix and screw

Whoa, whoa, whoa! An actual date? You are asking this community about advice for a date? THIS MESSAGE BOARD? Do you realize the amount of pressure you just put on everyone here to act like they have actually been on a date before and have advice to give. We are runners!

All of this. But especially the level of fitness most people have. I live in NYC and I run along the East River or WSH and I blow past almost everyone while running 8 to 8:30 pace. Like 2/3 of the people who pass me I end up passing while they're walking a few minutes later.

wejo wrote:

Seems simple. ...

1) It's not that hard to find out how far/fast the other person runs or tell them how fast you run.

"I'd love to go for a run. I usually run X miler at X pace, is that something you'd want to do?"

Or you could add "I don't mind running a bit slower Y miles at Y pace, so if you're up for either of those lets for for a run."

Or "I'd love to go for a run, how far/fast do you usually run?"

Exactly.

getting advice for lrc... wrote:

I'm fine running as slow as 9-10 min pace (well 10 is really slow... but whatever). I think you guys overestimate the average fitness of someone, especially when it comes to running distance. You'd be surprised at how many people can't keep that pace for more than 2 miles.

Are you a trophy woman?

Insufferable hj wrote:

I went on a "run date" once with a woman ... She loved herself almost as much as she loved "her running", and it was a toss up whether her personality or running was worse. She sure was serious about her running and I heard a lot about her "Boston".

I'm aware that you hated that date. But I gotta say, it sure would be a refreshing experience to meet this "terrible" girl that you speak of. In my area, almost all women interested in running are over 40. I'd gladly meet a selfish runner-girl just to meet a runner-girl at all. Some of you guys don't know how lucky you have it that there are enough female runners in your area that you can be picky.