A guy asked me out and asked if I wanted to get coffee or lunch or go on a run. Thoughts on this?

If your goal is to get in a hard run then I'd say no. If your goal is to go on a run and hopefully have a nice conversation then you shouldn't be worried about the pace.

I have gone on a run as a first 'date' before. Our mutual friend fixed us up and told her I was a runner. The girl happened to be doing a little bit of training prior to running her first half marathon (her goal was to run around 2-2:10). I met the girl at a park with the goal of doing a loop around the lake (about 6 miles). I stepped out of the car wearing a Cross Country shirt from the university I ran for and split leg shorts (not the average guys 7" inseam running shorts). At no point did I expect it to be a hard run. I let her set the pace and casually ran next to her the whole time while carrying on conversation. Halfway through she started struggling quite a bit. We had been running 2:30 a mile slower than I typically ran easy days so I was kind of adding insult to injury by just bouncing along next to her while she could barely continue to converse. We finished up the run, stretched a bit at the park and that was the end of the 'date'. That was right at 6 years ago. I am now married to the girl.

Needless to say I could have dropped her at any point but that would have been a poor choice. Hearing her tell the story now is pretty comical as her first thought when I stepped out of the car was "F$%K! I'm going to kill her (our friend)". Our friend didn't tell her I was a really serious runner, just that I 'ran'.

Best advice is let him set the pace and see how it goes. If its not going well or the guy is a jerk you can always drop him.

Truth! I only bring this up because this has happened to me multiple times before where a guy who doesn't run seriously automatically thinks he can keep up.

I am fine doing an easy run with him but in the past there have been guys who are not fat (and look like they are in shape) who struggle to even run 8-9 min pace for more than 2 miles. Then this is no fun because the whole point of running as a way to get to know someone is to make conversation... if he is straining this much, it's hard.

He actually also did suggest sky diving or bungee jumping but that seems like less of a first date activity...

OP,

Having read more responses, it appears that there are some d0uchey losers on here (who could have guessed?), telling you that you're stupid. They're also the same losers who would have called you a b!tch if you had been immediately dismissive of the guy. Their opinions are not relevant.

The best thing to do is be as direct as possible. Text or tell the guy this:

"I think a run-date should be at easy pace so we can talk. I like my easy pace to be at 8-min. per mile. Is that ok with you?"

Simple as pie.

Okay this is good to hear! Thank you.

It sounds like I'll ask where he usually runs or how much and say a run or a hike can be the suggestion, and maybe if it goes well we can get something after.

Not a bad idea. A benefit you have by going on a run and potentially being faster than him is you have a very good way to determine his pride factor which is directly correlated to how big of a douche he may or may not be. If you clearly not trying the entire run while he is straining doesn't bother him or scare him off then I'd say that's a positive.

Can't have much of a conversation when you're jumping off a bridge or out of a plane.

I agree!

It's so true that often there are 2 groups of guys from the group of guys that aren't competitive runners:

1) Too slow, and sometimes hurts pride that they can't keep up even 1 or 2 miles

2) Go out way too hard to "prove their superiority" and die off

This is sometimes true for competitive runners too but often they are better at understanding easy days.

Take it Easy wrote:

If your goal is to get in a hard run then I'd say no. If your goal is to go on a run and hopefully have a nice conversation then you shouldn't be worried about the pace.

...

Best advice is let him set the pace and see how it goes. If its not going well or the guy is a jerk you can always drop him.

Best advice on here. IMO.

Plot twist.

The OP is really TRG. Nikeman has already had enough of the PNSO and moved out.

Another lady here. What OP and the other woman (women?) have described is so true.

I remember a guy asked me if he could run with me and insisted on it even though I was quite sure he wasn't a serious runner. I said fine, I'm doing an easy 5-6 miles and he asked if I would be taking water breaks/stop breaks during it...

Also he shot out quickly for the first 0.5-1 mile and then couldn't hold on and was straining hard and started walking.

just do 8 or so miles and drink a beer every mile. may level the playing field and the date becomes more fun

i would go running with you. even if you are a guy. i am openminded. living in the civilized world of yurop tho

Good lord, all these responses to a troll post. Well done, OP.

Devastator wrote:

Nice one OP. No girl ever uses the words jogfest.

6/10

In case, you guys missed it. I'm bumping this up to a stratospheric 6.5/10.

k3453a wrote:

Also he shot out quickly for the first 0.5-1 mile and then couldn't hold on and was straining hard and started walking.

Ladies hate when the guys "shoots out too quickly."

lol I wish I was trolling! I'm being completely serious. I'll even bump this after the date.

When do we get pics of you OP.

If you have been on this site for a while, you know how the game works.

getting advice for lrc... wrote:

lol I wish I was trolling! I'm being completely serious. I'll even bump this after the date.

Yes, please write a follow-up. Though many at this website have never been on a date, they enjoy reading about them.

RvaRunner wrote:

When do we get pics of you OP.

If you have been on this site for a while, you know how the game works.

If she's been on the site for a while she knows the kind of people who frequent the board... If I were a woman I wouldn't even post here for risk of my IP address getting tracked by some Jamin like character.

OP, good luck with the date. Try not to leave the guy too far behind. Maybe stash some water or something for him ahead of time!