1) Bolt's 800 PR is not 2:10. He probably has never run an all out 800 but has run 2:10 for an 800 "tempo" in practice. If you think a long striding 45.x 400 man can't break 2 for the 800 you should rethink your logic. I don't care how fast twitch your muscles are, no one falls off the cliff that fast.
2. Bolt is a long sprinter who moved down to the 100 for the money and glory. He is not asafa powell or Chris Johnson or Carl Lewis. His so called laziness is at worst a form of relaxation and more likely a marketing ploy.
3) Obea Moore ran 4:30ish for the mile in hs and was probably a more prototypical power sprinter than Bolt. Similar to other posters, I know 6'8 inch high jumpers and 50 second quarter milers that broke 5 minutes in a time trial start of track season straight out of basketball season. Some people are just naturally efficient runners. Doesn't mean they'll ever be able to break 4. It just means their turnover is clean enough to get them around 4 laps in a respectable time.
4. Bolt weighs around 200 lbs. not 300 lbs. His weight might be a limiting factor for a 4:20 mile or faster, but for 5 minutes, come on.
4) If rojo transferred the $200k rossi challenge money To a Bolt 5 min mile challenge, Bolt would collect in less than a week and head to the disco.
5) if this post were about the marathon or even a 5k I would agree that Bolt is unlikely to do much better than your average