Whoa bro, that's nothing!
"I was with this girl I had just met the day before. She had given me he*d that day. Anyway, the next day we had eaten some fettucini alfredo from some local restaurant and it was bothering my stomach almost as soon as I finished eating it. I only lived about 15 minutes away, so I figured I could hold it. She finishes eating and then she was gonna drop me off at home cause it was already pretty late anyway. She's driving along and my stomach gets worse and worse and now an expected shit is turning into liquid form. I'm squirming in my seat trying to hold it in and she pulls off onto some backroad looking for a place to either f**k or bl*w me. I tell her I really need to get home cause I'm not feeling good, so she pulls back onto the main road and we're on our way. The rest of the ride home I'm letting out these silent farts and it seems each one is spraying my underwear. I can smell it and I know she had to have smelled it, so I open the window hoping the smell will linger out without hitting her. A minute from my place and I feel a big ass turd just plop out of my ass, it felt lke I was sitting on a rock. I felt so bad and was hoping it didn't go through my pants and onto her seat. We finally get to my place, I tell her bye and I immediately open my door to go inside and then she stops her car and gets out and walks toward me looking like she wanted a kiss or hug goodbye. She walks closer and that turd that was in my pants rolls down my leg and lands near my shoe. I have no idea if she saw it, but I ran inside after that and never saw her again."