This is live!
Brown Bear and myself are looking very strong coming down the homestretch. Most of the sprinters are back at their house doing nerdy shit. An un-updated standing looks like this.
Brown Bear: 5 jerks, 24 miles, 14 donuts, 10 beers
Cucumber: 5 jerks, 18 miles, 16 donuts, 7 beers
Exterminator: 2-3 jerks, 18 miles, 8 donuts, 4 beers
Bubbles: 3 jerks, 18 miles, 6 donuts, 2 beers
Happy Trail: 3 jerks, 18 miles, 13 donuts, 2 beers
Chancellor: 3 jerks, 18 miles, 10 donuts, 3 beers
Maple: 3 jerks, 18 miles, 12 donuts, 6 beers.
Looking like only Brown Bear and myself are going for any kind of quick time. Most of the sprinters are just going to finish their beers at a party tonight, so they're not concerned with finishing in any fast time. I'm going to share an exclusive interview with Brown Bear so all of you at home can get in on the psyche of our leader
Me: Brown Bear what do you see as your greatest challenge in the hours to come?
BB: Uh, i don't like the term hours, because it's definitely going to be less than an hour before I finish, but the greatest barrier to victory will be donuts. I'm sipping on my 10th beer now and I can definitely chug 2 beers whenever I need to and the 6th jerk off will definitely be in the next 20 min so I'm going to finish with donuts. I really want to look like centro in his semi final but I would hate to do an interview without mentioning my inspiration and God, Craig Engels, who has inspired me in more ways than one, a runner, a person and a mustache grower. There are so many things about him that I want to emulate and I can only hope that he reads this forum. If youre reading this, I wish you luck in your 1500 final.
Me: ok brown bear, that was extensive and more than i wanted but thank you