In my experience, you find someone else to love.
I was heartbroken for about two years until I met someone else I fell in love with. Then overnight I no longer missed the previous person.
In my experience, you find someone else to love.
I was heartbroken for about two years until I met someone else I fell in love with. Then overnight I no longer missed the previous person.
OP, If you are who I assume, I'm sorry this sucks so badly. Both of you are great people and I know its incredibly hard to lose someone you like/love so dearly.
Let me offer a few ideas:
1) She ended it, and as badly as that stinks, it wasn't because of a mistake you made or because you were a lousy person, it was because she just wasn't feeling it. There is always the chance the fire will be rekindled down the road, but don't bet on it and, more importantly, don't wrap yourself up in the thought that it will. That type of thinking can leave you paralyzed.
2) You are a person who many people look up to. Reach out to some of those people, especially your brothers, they want to know you better. They want to be there for you like you were for them on some 22 mile long run where you feel like absolute trash. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't. Realize you have a great community around you who cares for you.
3) Focus on the things that are most important to you: faith, family, friends, running... Whatever they are, pour yourself into them in new ways and give thanks they are in your life.
4) Things will get better, give it time. Even though she is a great person, she's not the only one out there.
Forgive me for being blunt, especially if this is not the person I think it is,
SP
I'm more interested in your handle name...lol Scorpio & Pisces can be lethal.
Heartbroken too wrote:
How long was your "short, intense love affair"?
7-8 months
June- Feb.
OP?
SP, I'm not who you think. Sorry. But your post is interesting none the less.
Still heartbroken
Heartbroken,
It's over, it's over, it's over. Will you get back together, NO. Is she missing you like you miss her, NO. Will you ever be as happy as you were, YES.
Is anger at this point a healthy emotion, YES. And you need to feel it because it will help with you moving on. Was she perfect for you, NO. Did you do something that caused the breakup, NO. (People meant to be together forgive mistakes)
Will this pain cause you to really love and appreciate the next person you enter into a relationship with who truly does love you, YES!!
Will you still feel pain after reading this, YES. That is life.
Conundrum wrote:
Heartbroken,
It's over, it's over, it's over. Will you get back together, NO. Is she missing you like you miss her, NO. Will you ever be as happy as you were, YES.
Is anger at this point a healthy emotion, YES. And you need to feel it because it will help with you moving on. Was she perfect for you, NO. Did you do something that caused the breakup, NO. (People meant to be together forgive mistakes)
Will this pain cause you to really love and appreciate the next person you enter into a relationship with who truly does love you, YES!!
Will you still feel pain after reading this, YES. That is life.
And also why the music of John Lee Hooker is so damn therapeutic.
Understand that things heal with time, but also understand you will always have a scar once healed, that isn't meaning to sound bitter but rather thankful.
Also, do not feel the need to just jump in the dating game, when you're ready, you're ready. If you feel the need to drink in a dark room by yourself go for it. If you find yourself drinking 7 days a week maybe get yourself to therapy. If you don't click with a therapist try a different one. Remember anger/resentment is just a blanket for sadness and eventually you will have to "feel" that sadness.
Love, it's a motherf*cker.
Unless you connected to a sociopath, I'd guess she's probably as broken up over things as you are. Food doesn't taste good, music's too painful to listen to, the sunlight is mocking and all of that...
If you ended things with some sort of blow up and then silence, you might try reaching out with a heartfelt apology for whatever it was that you did. Just know that most of us can tell the difference between real remorse, which involves serious soul searching on your end and empathy for her feelings, and words uttered just to press the reset button and return to an unhealthy dynamic. If she's a healthy adult she'll answer you in kind.
Or you could just try buying her running gear. Nothing says I'm sorry like some tube socks and a new singlet.
Best of luck!
bump
There's an old thread here from 2015 by a guy named heartbroken who is in his 20s. I'm not in my 20s and this post is fresh. I just don't want anyone to confuse the two threads.
Don't give up on life. You can find love again.
I think the crass men on here do have a point that getting with another person can help you feel lovable again. The whole 'get under' someone to get over another- is crude, but the general idea of getting out and dating, enjoying life is a positive statement. It helped me to find a new boyfriend. There are so many people in the world - don't let time stop for a lost love when you can find someone new.
Good luck to you and don't give up on yourself.
Learn from your stupid mistakes.
Don't date until you're confident you will not repeat them.
Give it time.
Make a serious effort to not come in contact with that person.
I'm pleased to say that I tried the advise of 'get under someone to get over someone' twice this past week and it helped. Took my mind off of the person I lost and allowed me to feel good, make someone else feel good and well, I'm doing better.
Get under to get over. That would make a good tattoo.
Heartbroken wrote:
I'm pleased to say that I tried the advise of 'get under someone to get over someone' twice this past week and it helped. Took my mind off of the person I lost and allowed me to feel good, make someone else feel good and well, I'm doing better.
Get under to get over. That would make a good tattoo.
"I'm so over boys unless I'm under them."
What's your sign? wrote:
I'm more interested in your handle name...lol Scorpio & Pisces can be lethal.
I am writing a book on it.... It is a lethal combination.