Is it weird you title your GF as a "live-in"? Is that just for abbreviation sake or does it mean something? Because when I think "live-in", I think live-in housekeeper, live-in nanny.
Is it weird you title your GF as a "live-in"? Is that just for abbreviation sake or does it mean something? Because when I think "live-in", I think live-in housekeeper, live-in nanny.
I just want to thank everyone for all the advice. I read enough to know that I don't know enough about finances.
I scheduled an appointment for next week with a tax guy. My bank has a financial guy that I will talk with too. I will not make rash decisions.
I took some advice and paid off the rest of my home mortgage ($115,000), I also paid off my car load ($4,700).
I called my girlfriend my live-in just to point out I'm sharing living expenses. My girlfriend is 31 and has been talking marriage well before the inheritance thing. She has been great and I am going to propose to her this weekend. I can't wait. After she says yes, she will say yes and will be thrilled, I'm going to give her a check for $41,000 for her to pay off the rest of her $33,000 student loans and the rest of her car loan.
This is something I want to do. We are both going to start out our lives together debt free. What a gift my dad gave.
My dad will be happy. I'm 41 and its time to move on with my life.
please don't listen to the bank financial guy - they are the worst - usually get paid by commission so they throw the highest commission products at you.
and stop spending the money! no big spending decisions for at least 6 months!
agip wrote:
please don't listen to the bank financial guy - they are the worst - usually get paid by commission so they throw the highest commission products at you.
and stop spending the money! no big spending decisions for at least 6 months!
Thanks about the tip on the bank guy, but not spending yet just paying off what we already owe. (I will buy a diamond though)
41 with live in and no kids wrote:
Thanks about the tip on the bank guy, but not spending yet just paying off what we already owe. (I will buy a diamond though)
That diamond suddenly got a lot bigger.
You can buy online to save a few bucks (e.g. blue nile). Here's the skinny on the four C's:
- shape: round (everything else reflects less light/has less sparkle)
- clarity: must be clear to naked eye. VS1 is a good compromise
- color: must be colorless to the naked eye - H is best value
- cut: go with signature ideal or whatever is best (if you compromise here there will be less ligh reflected)
- carat: maximize to budget. About 2c seems appropriate.
- setting: go with a tiffany style 4 or 6 prong setting. Looked good 100 years ago, looks good now, will look good when your old
agip wrote:
please don't listen to the bank financial guy - they are the worst - usually get paid by commission so they throw the highest commission products at you.
and stop spending the money! no big spending decisions for at least 6 months!
I TOTALLY agree on your first point. Spending just a few hours and he can EASILY do the investing on his own.
Being debt free while using $161k is a tremendous burden off of his shoulders and now he can focus on investing the 1m or so (depending on how much is spent on the rock!).
Good luck, OP!
Get a pre-nup
41 with live in and no kids wrote:
I just want to thank everyone for all the advice. I read enough to know that I don't know enough about finances.
I scheduled an appointment for next week with a tax guy. My bank has a financial guy that I will talk with too. I will not make rash decisions.
I took some advice and paid off the rest of my home mortgage ($115,000), I also paid off my car load ($4,700).
I'm going to give her a check for $41,000 for her to pay off the rest of her $33,000 student loans and the rest of her car loan.
You've already spent ~160,000 and you haven't had a meeting with a tax person.
What's another one or two payments on your debts before you have every last tax consequence and a solid plan sorted out?
When others posted you should go back to living your life the way you were, they were right. You aren't doing that. At all. Slow down. Seriously.
What exactly did you inherit. Did your dad just have $1.2 million sitting in cash and investments? Was it sunk into assets- i.e. real estate or fleet of ferraris? Did you inherit some kind of deferred asset plan -. IRA, 401K? I've always found it amusing on this board that someone provides some little data point of information as to one's finances, then everybody starts shooting from the hip on giving comprehensive financial planning.
Previously married? wrote:
Being debt free while using $161k is a tremendous burden off of his shoulders and now he can focus on investing the 1m or so (depending on how much is
At the rate he's going it's going to be barely $500,000. Barely.
This was great advice. I will have a ring when I propose but figure we will buy it together.
As I said before, we already spent that money, I'm just paying off the debts.
As far as gong back to living my life, I'm 41. Its time to get on with my life. The money just gave me the impetus to grow up, get married, and start a family. It was really long over due.
41 with live in and no kids wrote:
This was great advice. I will have a ring when I propose but figure we will buy it together.
Don't do that.
Jewelry sales men are the worst. First, he will try to sell you whatever inventory he needs to get rid off. Second, he will play you.
Ex. you ask him to bring a 1.5ct stone with certain specs. I guarantee you he will come back with 1.7 and slightly better specs and 7-8k over budget. Then he will tell you and your girlfriend that he believes that your "future wife is worth it".
Besides that, women like men who can make decisions.
Do your research. What the other guy wrote is a good start. You can't go wrong with a tiffany style setting.
Married runnr wrote:
41 with live in and no kids wrote:This was great advice. I will have a ring when I propose but figure we will buy it together.
Don't do that.
Jewelry sales men are the worst. First, he will try to sell you whatever inventory he needs to get rid off. Second, he will play you.
Ex. you ask him to bring a 1.5ct stone with certain specs. I guarantee you he will come back with 1.7 and slightly better specs and 7-8k over budget. Then he will tell you and your girlfriend that he believes that your "future wife is worth it".
Besides that, women like men who can make decisions.
Do your research. What the other guy wrote is a good start. You can't go wrong with a tiffany style setting.
BlueNile.com.
Sidestep the run around and the "i know a guy" jewelry world.
41 with live in and no kids wrote:
As I said before, we already spent that money, I'm just paying off the debts.
As far as gong back to living my life, I'm 41. Its time to get on with my life. The money just gave me the impetus to grow up, get married, and start a family. It was really long over due.
You aren't getting far on a few hundred grand. I promise.
There's good advice on this thread and you are following less than half of it.
Buy a ring and a big wedding. And a new car of course. Then buy some nice place to live.
Then you can go on with life as before. Because now the money are gone. And soon your wife will be gone too.
boaty_floating_boater wrote:
41 with live in and no kids wrote:As I said before, we already spent that money, I'm just paying off the debts.
As far as gong back to living my life, I'm 41. Its time to get on with my life. The money just gave me the impetus to grow up, get married, and start a family. It was really long over due.
You aren't getting far on a few hundred grand. I promise.
There's good advice on this thread and you are following less than half of it.
I got pretty far on much less than that. Many posters are posting that I am not rich. Well I am a lot more richer than I was!
I haven't decided yet how to invest the money. So it is stupid to say I haven't followed advice.
And yes my girlfriend and I will pay for the wedding. I will not ask her parents for help. If they give a nice wedding gift that will be fine.
please give me a donation of $2,000. Thats all i need to fully pay off my trip to Australia because i got scouted to compete there in nationals for cross country. its a lot to ask but hey im in desperate need i really dont want my parents having to put themselves in more debt to pay for this kind of oppurtunity. im 16 years old and in 10th grade. im going to represent louisiana.
godspeedvvv wrote:
please give me a donation of $2,000. Thats all i need to fully pay off my trip to Australia because i got scouted to compete there in nationals for cross country. its a lot to ask but hey im in desperate need i really dont want my parents having to put themselves in more debt to pay for this kind of oppurtunity. im 16 years old and in 10th grade. im going to represent louisiana.
After I meet with the tax guy, I will make a sizable donation to the American heart Association.
PS Girlfriend accepted proposal and didn't want the check but I talked her into it. Life is good.
Spent? He spent it years before. What he is doing is saving interest costs. Yes, he will lose the mortgage deduction, but that is not as much as he will save by paying off debt. Debt is a killer for most people approaching retirement age. To rid himself of it and still have a million left is not a bad deal no matter how YOU try to spin it.