Phil Fondacaro wrote:
[quote]Mr. Pean wrote: The husband mailed a letter to my mom's house (our family address), opened the letter and passed it on to me.
Why was the husband in your mom's house and why was he opening your mom's mail? Is he having an affair with your mother and was himself trying to intercept any letters informing your mother that he is married?
I hope you are the real Phil Fondacaro, since I've always imagined Ewoks as being grammar police.
You came to LRC to post about this. What'd you expect?
Rather than deride the replies you don't like, how about you ignore those, and just appreciate the diversity of replies, as well as those that are very good.
Seriously ,.. You think a paragraph or two is enough history and context and detail for anyone to really comment? Go find someone, or some ones, you trust, and talk to them about it,
Blah Blah Blah Blah wrote:
You should stop imposing your moral values on others.
Is that your moral value you are imposing on everyone else?
Mr. Pean wrote:
My parents are both in their 60s and have been divorced 6 years. I don't know whether or not my dad was faithful while they were married, but it honestly wouldn't bother me at all one way or the other because my Mom was a pretty wretched human being, so I wouldn't really blame him for seeking some kind of affection from another woman. However, I just found out he apparently has been "the other man" the past 6 months in an affair with an old high school girlfriend. The husband mailed a letter to my mom's house (our family address), opened the letter and passed it on to me. It was short and to the point and basically just said the above, that my dad had ended their marriage, and that this guy didn't even care because of what a piece of crap his wife is.
I'm confused as to how I'm supposed to feel about this. My family is a disaster in numerous ways, so I separated myself physically and emotionally from them a long time ago. Obviously being the other man or woman is not morally correct, but I feel pretty indifferent about the whole thing. My dad is a good man overall and was a great father. I'm an adult now, so I understand he's human and just a person like you or I. I wonder if perhaps I'm not reacting appropriately though? What would be your reaction if this happened?
Well, in the first place nobody really got hurt too bad. Your parents marriage dissolved for good reasons and your mother was not doing a good job in it. The marriage your single dad broke into also seemed to be in the ditches, the lady in it not doing a good job and the husband dealt with it up front and straight forward. Even for old folks, this , that, coulda been worse.
First of all, take a pragmatic and wide sweeping approach to things. Wide sweeping, meaning, consider this slog with all the other challenges you face or could face, past present and future. You probably have a lot of responsibilities, dreams and things to deal with yourself. And the world around us, near and far, is filled with serious problems and problems that could be on the horizon.
Third, as parents and people age, a lot of them become pains in the ass, not just because of care taking but declining mental states. They say crazy sh1t increasingly on the road to mental laziness, dementia, and flip flopping from moment to moment. Take it with a lot of salt. This is especially true if they were like this when in middle age.
Try to see the upside in it. When multiple conflicts arose, people got over it and kept calm, as opposed to the poo hitting the fan and a domino cascade of chaos going off, with people completely losing it, letting out all their baggage elsewhere in life, breaking things, committing violence, losing social decorum, sending hate and incitement in other directions, destroying business good names, etc
If you're still feeling conflicted, do some personal writing and try to pursue associations and feelings and get to the source and roots of your concerns. You can also talk with trustworthy and interested yet detached friends, and maybe a decent therapist.
It's important for you to realize that each person, even your parents, are just individual people, with their own wishes, hopes, dreams, thoughts, etc.
He's in his 60s.
2 old people bumping and grinding is about all they can hope for at that age. Clearly he's not ruining the kid's future. Old people do what they have to do to be happy.
And as you seem to be an adult, I can say its none of your business. It seems your mother is every bit the shit your father thought she was. She had no right to share that information with you.
Mr. Pean wrote:
I find many of the replies astonishing and incredible. Seems a lot of people didn't read my OP very well. My parents have been divorced for 6 years, and it sounds like my dad slept with an old gf a few times only in the last 6 MONTHS. She was married, but the marriage was clearly not a happy one given her actions and the note her husband sent my dad.
I find it incredible that anyone would think ending a relationship with my father over this is anywhere near consideration. If you're someone who would end a relationship with your parents over something like this you're a pretty damn shetty person. This has literally zero effect on my life. And all people are human; that includes those who have children.
I appreciate the responses regardless. They've been very eye-opening as to how thoughtless, immature, and illiterate people on this forum are.
Just tried to help, guy.
If anything has been eye-opening as to immaturity, it is an adult man asking for advice on "how to feel," you emotionally stunted, pompous prick.
RIP: D3 All-American Frank Csorba - who ran 13:56 in March - dead
RENATO can you talk about the preparation of Emile Cairess 2:06
Running for Bowerman Track Club used to be cool now its embarrassing
Great interview with Steve Cram - says Jakob has no chance of WRs this year
Hats off to my dad. He just ran a 1:42 Half Marathon and turns 75 in 2 months!