My parents are both in their 60s and have been divorced 6 years. I don't know whether or not my dad was faithful while they were married, but it honestly wouldn't bother me at all one way or the other because my Mom was a pretty wretched human being, so I wouldn't really blame him for seeking some kind of affection from another woman. However, I just found out he apparently has been "the other man" the past 6 months in an affair with an old high school girlfriend. The husband mailed a letter to my mom's house (our family address), opened the letter and passed it on to me. It was short and to the point and basically just said the above, that my dad had ended their marriage, and that this guy didn't even care because of what a piece of crap his wife is.
I'm confused as to how I'm supposed to feel about this. My family is a disaster in numerous ways, so I separated myself physically and emotionally from them a long time ago. Obviously being the other man or woman is not morally correct, but I feel pretty indifferent about the whole thing. My dad is a good man overall and was a great father. I'm an adult now, so I understand he's human and just a person like you or I. I wonder if perhaps I'm not reacting appropriately though? What would be your reaction if this happened?
Just found out my dad had an affair. How am I supposed to react?
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Either a fist bump or a bro shake will suffice.
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Congratulate him.
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Your father is a morally weak, pleasure seeker. The apple doesn't fall far from the proverbial tree.
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You should stop imposing your moral values on others.
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Blah Blah Blah Blah wrote:
You should stop imposing your moral values on others.
What in my post made you think I'm imposing my moral values on others? I haven't done or said anything to anyone. ??? -
Maybe your mother was a wretched person because her husband was f'in around on her the whole time, and she didn't know how else to deal with that.
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Wtfunny wrote:
Maybe your mother was a wretched person because her husband was f'in around on her the whole time, and she didn't know how else to deal with that.
Or maybe not. -
You react by acknowledging your father is a despicable human being with no impulse control. You forgive him for his failings and resolve never to make the same mistake
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Mr. Pean wrote:
Blah Blah Blah Blah wrote:
You should stop imposing your moral values on others.
What in my post made you think I'm imposing my moral values on others? I haven't done or said anything to anyone. ???
* "being the other man or woman is not morally correct"
* "Mom was a pretty wretched human being"
* "I wouldn't really blame him for seeking some kind of affection from another woman"
etc, etc. -
Quite a few Ministers on the forums tonight it seems. Not Jimmy Swaggart types of course.
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Blah Blah Blah Blah wrote:
Mr. Pean wrote:
Blah Blah Blah Blah wrote:
You should stop imposing your moral values on others.
What in my post made you think I'm imposing my moral values on others? I haven't done or said anything to anyone. ???
* "being the other man or woman is not morally correct"
* "Mom was a pretty wretched human being"
* "I wouldn't really blame him for seeking some kind of affection from another woman"
etc, etc.
You should look up the definition of "imposing." -
Pics?
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Well of course wrote:
You react by acknowledging your father is a despicable human being with no impulse control. You forgive him for his failings and resolve never to make the same mistake
Posted the judgy judger.
Dude came from tough circumstances that you don't know even a little about. -
Mr. Pean wrote:
My parents are both in their 60s and have been divorced 6 years. I don't know whether or not my dad was faithful while they were married, but it honestly wouldn't bother me at all one way or the other because my Mom was a pretty wretched human being, so I wouldn't really blame him for seeking some kind of affection from another woman. However, I just found out he apparently has been "the other man" the past 6 months in an affair with an old high school girlfriend. The husband mailed a letter to my mom's house (our family address), opened the letter and passed it on to me. It was short and to the point and basically just said the above, that my dad had ended their marriage, and that this guy didn't even care because of what a piece of crap his wife is.
I'm confused as to how I'm supposed to feel about this. My family is a disaster in numerous ways, so I separated myself physically and emotionally from them a long time ago. Obviously being the other man or woman is not morally correct, but I feel pretty indifferent about the whole thing. My dad is a good man overall and was a great father. I'm an adult now, so I understand he's human and just a person like you or I. I wonder if perhaps I'm not reacting appropriately though? What would be your reaction if this happened?
Your post is flawed on many levels.
1) Your dad didn't "end" the other couples marriage. The other woman had an affair with your father and husband decided to call of the marriage once he found out. I'd say the women has responsibility as well as the other husband.
2) Not sure why I defended your dad in the least, but in the last paragraph you say that your dad is the "other man" but in the first paragraph you admit he may have cheated on your mom. Your dad very well could have been the actual cheater.
3) In general, how dare you. You say you mother was a 'wretched human being'. For all you know your dad was having affairs all along and your mom bit her lip as she didn't want you to realize your dad was a horrible dude. WHy don't you ask your mom - hell your dad- if he was faithful during the marriage.
4) IF I were you, I'd feel scared. That's what you should feel. Genetics are big in life and you likely are going to have the urge to cheat yourself. I'd hate to realize my own father was a cheater. -
Forgive him.
You do not say whether he has continued that affair. Perhaps he regrets it and needs to feel forgiven. We all make mistakes. It does not have to finish our lives.
I think you can still admire him for his good qualities. That's what we have to do anyway! -
That's Great! Thanks for posting!
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Why was the husband in your mom's house and why was he opening your mom's mail? Is he having an affair with your mother and was himself trying to intercept any letters informing your mother that he is married?
Mr. Pean wrote: The husband mailed a letter to my mom's house (our family address), opened the letter and passed it on to me. -
suffice it to say wrote:
Quite a few Ministers on the forums tonight it seems. Not Jimmy Swaggart types of course.
POD. For some reason this struck me as quite funny. -
let's see here wrote:
Mr. Pean wrote:
My parents are both in their 60s and have been divorced 6 years. I don't know whether or not my dad was faithful while they were married, but it honestly wouldn't bother me at all one way or the other because my Mom was a pretty wretched human being, so I wouldn't really blame him for seeking some kind of affection from another woman. However, I just found out he apparently has been "the other man" the past 6 months in an affair with an old high school girlfriend. The husband mailed a letter to my mom's house (our family address), opened the letter and passed it on to me. It was short and to the point and basically just said the above, that my dad had ended their marriage, and that this guy didn't even care because of what a piece of crap his wife is.
I'm confused as to how I'm supposed to feel about this. My family is a disaster in numerous ways, so I separated myself physically and emotionally from them a long time ago. Obviously being the other man or woman is not morally correct, but I feel pretty indifferent about the whole thing. My dad is a good man overall and was a great father. I'm an adult now, so I understand he's human and just a person like you or I. I wonder if perhaps I'm not reacting appropriately though? What would be your reaction if this happened?
Your post is flawed on many levels.
1) Your dad didn't "end" the other couples marriage. The other woman had an affair with your father and husband decided to call of the marriage once he found out. I'd say the women has responsibility as well as the other husband.
2) Not sure why I defended your dad in the least, but in the last paragraph you say that your dad is the "other man" but in the first paragraph you admit he may have cheated on your mom. Your dad very well could have been the actual cheater.
3) In general, how dare you. You say you mother was a 'wretched human being'. For all you know your dad was having affairs all along and your mom bit her lip as she didn't want you to realize your dad was a horrible dude. WHy don't you ask your mom - hell your dad- if he was faithful during the marriage.
4) IF I were you, I'd feel scared. That's what you should feel. Genetics are big in life and you likely are going to have the urge to cheat yourself. I'd hate to realize my own father was a cheater.
1) The woman's husband said my dad ended their marriage, not me.
2) I said I don't know. How would any of us know if our parents were faithful or not?
3) You know my mom better than I do? Please describe her to me as well as her behavior.
4) My dad was the other man. It's less reprehensible than being the one in the commitment in most people's opinion, and I am not my father and can make my own decisions. Thanks.
5) Learn to read.
