Parents cut me off. I have no idea what I'm going to do.

3/10. If not get a student loan like every other kid who doesn't have rich parents.

Regular college students do not drunk drive nor do they lose. Their scholarships. What regular college students actually do is get a job and pay for school. You're an adult. Stop bumming off your parents.

I'm only 50% convinced you aren't trolling.

My wife and I have a son who you sound a lot like. He received a half scholarship for academics. We agreed to pay the other half and we would match his monthly income from his work-study job that was limited to 20 hours a week. So basically he was receiving full-time pay (minimum wage though it was) for half-time work. We knew he liked to party but didn't realize how bad it got--our fault. Look, I have no problem with a little weed and some drinking, but not at the expense of grades. Things hit the fan for our son when he lost his scholarship money after spring semester sophomore year. That summer he was pulled over for, you guessed it, drunk driving. In the car was about a half gram of cocaine.

Here is what we said. He was cutoff. No tuition help, no allowance, no anything...unless he met our requirements. They were: attend AA for the rest of the summer, submit to weekly drug tests, and maintain a 3.5 GPA the rest of the way. We said he could choose to do what he wants, but he wouldn't be living in our home if he didn't meet those conditions and graduate college. He did those things, he earned our trust back, and he's done very well for himself to this point in his life.

Go to your parents and apologize, and MEAN it. Bring them a plan for what you feel you need to do to be better. And not just academically--tell them what you plan to do to be a better MAN. Then ask them to consider your plan and come up with a plan of their own. Stop hiding from your issues and stop blaming other people. Look in the mirror, kid.

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College Junior wrote:
I feel like I'm being persecuted here when reallly I'm just a regular college kid. But I have no idea whatsoever how I am going to pay for school. I need a way to get back in my parents' good graces.

I know I probably sound whiny, but I'm hoping for ANY advice anyone might have. Please, I'm desperate.

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College Junior wrote:

Ok, well I know I'm not a perfect person and I have had my screwups along the way, but now I'm in a load of trouble and I have no idea what to do. Hoping there may be some advice to be found here. I will try to be breif.

I am a junior in college and in my first two years I was on an academic scholarship that depended on me maintaining a 2.8 GPA. That wasn't so much of a problem until this fall when I had a hard course load and ended up failing 3 classes and my GPA dropped to 2.75. So now I have to pay the full tuition to keep attending school.

My parents are well-off. They can afford to pay for my education and for the most part they did. They paid all my expenses and gave me $1000 a month in allowance. But that allowance would be placed in a joint account and they kept track of my withdrawels. Honestly, yes I did use some of that money to buy alcohol and occasionally weed or cocaine. But it was nothing beyond what you'd expect from a regular college kid. They grew highly concerned though when I paid for my girlfriend's plane ticket to the Dominican Republic for her vacation with her friends. My parents said the money is for ME and nobody else. But I feel like I should be allowed to spend my allowance however I want.

Basically, they hate my girlfriend. They met her once and she made a pretty poor impression I guess because she snuck off the couch and slept in my bed with me. But it's not like we're not both adults. They also found out my girlfriend was arrested last year for a dui. So basically they tried to drive a wedge between us and force us to break up. And when that didn't work they got mad.

Then I made my big, big mistake. This winter break, after already losing my scholarship :(, I was pulled over for drunk driving. I did not get arrested however because my father knew the police officer and he just called my dad to come pick me up. But now my parents just sat me down and told me that I am absolutely 100% cut off. They said they have concerns about my habits and who I am hanging out with.

I feel like I'm being persecuted here when reallly I'm just a regular college kid. But I have no idea whatsoever how I am going to pay for school. I need a way to get back in my parents' good graces.

I know I probably sound whiny, but I'm hoping for ANY advice anyone might have. Please, I'm desperate.

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2/10.

Normal college students are nothing like this. You lost all rights with your actions. If you need to drop out of school you need to drop out. Go find a job. I am actually not totally against you paying for the GF ticket but that is only because $1,000 a month is a ridiculous amount of money for a college kid if everything else is already paid for in tuition. you probably couldn't find enough places to blow all of that. I am not saying your life isn't without challenges, but realize that you really have one simple job - don't blow this incredible opportunity you have been given.

My advice, try to earn their trust back.

Your parents are right that they should NOT have to pay for your girlfriend's plane tickets.

Also, you don't know how good you had it, a scholarship that paid your way AND $1000 a month stipend? You had it made and blew it. Maybe it is normal fro college kids to buy alcohol, weed and cocaine, but your parents didn't want to fund those things for you, so they should not have to.

When I was in school, I had to do all kinds of work to pay my way. Mowing lawns, Fall clean-ups, cleaning gutters, installing insulation in a 110 degree attic. I did all of it and earned all of the money that the scholarships wouldn't pay for. I can't say I never failed a class, but I graduated with a 3.6 in Engineering.

You really focked up.

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College Junior wrote:

They grew highly concerned though when I paid for my girlfriend's plane ticket to the Dominican Republic for her vacation with her friends. My parents said the money is for ME and nobody else. But I feel like I should be allowed to spend my allowance however I want.

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The OP sounds like an entitled little boy. He deserved to be cut off by his parents. Why should they pay for someone who makes poor decisions with their money instead of appreciating it and putting it to good use? If I gave my son money and he was buying drugs and paying for other people's vacations, damn right I would stop giving him money to waste. The OP is an embarrassment to his family.

That's Great! Keep us updated!

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oldassdad wrote:

My wife and I have a son who you sound a lot like. He received a half scholarship for academics. We agreed to pay the other half and we would match his monthly income from his work-study job that was limited to 20 hours a week. So basically he was receiving full-time pay (minimum wage though it was) for half-time work. We knew he liked to party but didn't realize how bad it got--our fault. Look, I have no problem with a little weed and some drinking, but not at the expense of grades. Things hit the fan for our son when he lost his scholarship money after spring semester sophomore year. That summer he was pulled over for, you guessed it, drunk driving. In the car was about a half gram of cocaine.

Here is what we said. He was cutoff. No tuition help, no allowance, no anything...unless he met our requirements. They were: attend AA for the rest of the summer, submit to weekly drug tests, and maintain a 3.5 GPA the rest of the way. We said he could choose to do what he wants, but he wouldn't be living in our home if he didn't meet those conditions and graduate college. He did those things, he earned our trust back, and he's done very well for himself to this point in his life.

Go to your parents and apologize, and MEAN it. Bring them a plan for what you feel you need to do to be better. And not just academically--tell them what you plan to do to be a better MAN. Then ask them to consider your plan and come up with a plan of their own. Stop hiding from your issues and stop blaming other people. Look in the mirror, kid.

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formerboxer wrote:



Your pick.

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Get a government job. You'll never work a day in your life.

You need to use your connections for buying weed and cocaine and get into dealing to make the money you need.

0/10 -- You flew too close to the sun, brother. Just too much there to be even remotely believable.

So you had a college scholarship that required you to maintain a 2.8, which is basically a C+, a joke grade that even a football playing moron could get doing the bare minimum required. You couldn't do that. However, despite your failures, its not the end of the world. Take out loans and pay for your last 3 semesters, make up the classes you failed through summer courses, get a part time job. You have 3 semesters to prove to yourself, not mommy and daddy, that you aren't a screwup.

Also, you are done with alcohol forever. Anyone who has had a dui or came close to one can't control themselves around alcohol and therefore should never even touch so much as a mimosa for the rest of their lives. Think about it, which is worse, being a square, or having a dui on your record?iIf I remember correctly, in my state they stay on your record and could effect employment for 11 years! In some states they are permanent, I believe. I'm a lot more concerned about this than you ending up graduating college with a 2.0 or something.

Lastly, please don't let your girlfriend drive drunk.

My only advice is for you to immediately change your life around - break things off with your "GF", apply yourself to your studies and stop drinking. Your involvement with illicit drugs is enough for anyone to have serious concerns about the trajectory of your life.

Do all of the above and grovel to be let back into your parents lives. You f'ed up and they will forever question your trust. Don't expect that your relationship with them will ever go back to the way they once were.

When the cop called your father, your father could've told the cop to arrest you. Instead it sounds like your father cared enough about you to not want you to have that on your record. Whether or not that's the right decision for a parent to make is one thing, but it shows he cares about you at least to an extent. It sounds like you do not care about your parents in the same way. $1000 a month? You are damn lucky. You want to get back in your parents good graces? Do something about it instead of coming here and crying. The guy who said to make a plan to better yourself and present it to your parents is right. Spend the rest of the day making that plan in depth and include actionable steps. Then get to bed early, wake up at 6am tomorrow morning, go for a 10 mile run, and sack up and apologize to your parents.

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br0ski wrote:

2/10.

Normal college students are nothing like this. You lost all rights with your actions. If you need to drop out of school you need to drop out. Go find a job. I am actually not totally against you paying for the GF ticket but that is only because $1,000 a month is a ridiculous amount of money for a college kid if everything else is already paid for in tuition. you probably couldn't find enough places to blow all of that. I am not saying your life isn't without challenges, but realize that you really have one simple job - don't blow this incredible opportunity you have been given.

My advice, try to earn their trust back.

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