The negativity confirms something that I find extremely valuable: honesty and vulnerability in my marriage.
Maybe I am a bit self righteous. I can own that. I am proud of my relationship with my wife, and I may be on a high horse about it at times.
And you all are right; this isn't a 'normal' marriage. Normal is running in the AM, going into work, eating dinner, watching TV, maybe working outside or around the house for a bit, going to bed, and barely talking to or knowing the person you are married to day in and day out. I did it for a long time. It was easy and neither of us had to share our most intimate thoughts with each other.
But we have chosen not to live that way any longer.
We now truly know each other. We believe in 100% transparency. Not that we HAVE to share every thought, because that isn't always helpful; we both know that we can without fear of rejection. It has done more good for our marriage than I can explain.
So no matter how stupid we may think our thoughts or feelings may 'sound' to others, we have an openness to share them with each other in a safe place.
Without vulnerability, there is no change. And we are not willing to stay the same.
Our marriage isn't 'the norm' and I am proud of that.