1. Jimmy Carter - 52, thin and active, former XC runner at the Naval Academy
2. James Madison - 57, most diminutive U.S. President in history (built like Haile Gebrselassie)
3. Barack Obama - 47, thin, jogged recreationally, half-Kenyan, somewhat of a smoker
4. George W. Bush - 54, thin, recreational runner - “less than 20 miles per week”
5. Calvin Coolidge - 51, thin, farming background
6. Abraham Lincoln - 52, thin, farming background, some latter day health problems but give him a speed-suit and he’d crush an 800
7. Franklin Pierce - 48, thin, heavy drinker who died from cirrhosis of the liver, nearly beats Lincoln out of spite
8. John F. Kennedy - 43 (second youngest President), thin, could probably fake it for 5k if he got some injections for back pain and other TUEs
9. James K. Polk - 49, thin, farming background, successfully met his major goals as President
10. John Tyler - 51, thin, “prone to diarrhea throughout life”
11. Andrew Jackson - 61, blue collar and tough as nails, perhaps the thinnest President ever, catalysts for genocide often make the best runners
12. Ulysses S. Grant - 46, middleweight throughout most his life, winning the Civil War engenders mental toughness
13. Theodore Roosevelt - 42 (youngest President ever), somewhat stout but in that hardy & functional way, big time outdoorsman
14. Woodrow Wilson - 56, thin, involved in football and baseball in his college days
15. James Garfield - 49, middleweight, blue collar background, military success
16. George Washington - 57, thin, military hero, could throw small objects across broad rivers
17. Thomas Jefferson - 57, thin, found success in many areas
18. James Monroe - 58, thin, military background, weird face
19. Bill Clinton - 46 (3rd youngest President), a bit hefty, recreational runner, cheeseburger connoisseur
20. Lyndon B. Johnson - 55, thin, had a nickname for his penis, looked like a giant penis
21. John Quincy Adams - 57, diminutive, squirrelly looking (squirrels are fast)
22. Andrew Johnson - 56, middleweight, blue collar and military background
23. George H.W. Bush - 64, thin, recreational runner, exquisite legs
24. Richard Nixon - 56, middleweight, football player in college, would probably cheat
25. Dwight D. Eisenhower - 62, thin, lengthy military career, college football player who once tackled Jim Thorpe
26. Gerald Ford - 61, fairly thin, WWII hero, college football star
27. Martin Van Buren - 54, looks to be 100 in most portraits but fairly thin at time of election, founder of the “Van Buren Boys” street gang
28. Warren Harding - 55, middleweight, died of a heart attack while in office
29. Herbert Hoover - 54, portly, pioneered a yard game he called “Hooverball” to stay in fair health
30. Rutherford B. Hayes - 54, middleweight, Civil War hero
31. Harry S. Truman - 60, nondescript build, blue collar farming background, lengthy military career, looks like a frickin’ nerd to me
32. Millard Fillmore - 50, fat was largely confined to his face, funny name, looked most like Alec Baldwin of any President
33. William McKinley - 54, a little heavy, couldn’t even outrun that bullet
34. John Adams - 61, still the second most toad-like President in history, a spirited competitor
35. Zachary Taylor - 64, middleweight, gruesome face, died from diarrhea 15 months into first term
36. Benjamin Harrison - 55, thicc (2 Cs), served in the Civil War, exceptionally forgettable
37. Ronald Reagan - 69 (3rd oldest President when first elected, 2nd oldest to hold office), thin
38. Joe Biden - 78 (oldest President ever), thin and evidently in fine health
39. William Henry Harrison - 68, thin, became fatally ill as soon as he took office but on day one who knows, maybe he had a decent 5k in him
40. James Buchanan - 65, slightly rotund, what a loser
41. Chester Arthur - 51, one of the great fat Presidents and sported magnificent facial hair, virtually forgotten, dead at 57
42. Grover Cleveland - 47, overtook John Adams as our most toad-like President, the very embodiment of the name Grover
43. Donald Trump - 70 (2nd oldest to become President, 3rd oldest to hold office), perfect physical specimen, doctors say he could live to 200
44. William H. Taft - 51, well remembered only for his corpulence, 340 pounds makes him easily the heaviest President, required a special bathtub installed to fit his proportions
45. Franklin D. Roosevelt - 51, middleweight, could not walk of his own volition (sadly for him this is a foot race)
I posted this once already and it was deleted, but that’s okay, it gave me the opportunity to make a couple of last minute adjustments.
I honestly can’t understand why it would be deleted considering what is allowed to remain on the boards, especially since I agave this site a hundred bucks basically just to be nice.
Anyway, if every U.S. President showed up to race a 5k in their peak 5k shape during their time in office, who would win? Who would finish last? This is what I have so far:
(Note: the age listed after each Prez is their age upon first assuming office.)
1. Jimmy Carter - 52, thin and active, former XC runner at the Naval Academy
2. James Madison - 57, most diminutive U.S. President in history (built like Haile Gebrselassie)
3. Barack Obama - 47, thin, jogged recreationally, half-Kenyan, somewhat of a smoker
4. George W. Bush - 54, thin, recreational runner - “less than 20 miles per week”
5. Calvin Coolidge - 51, thin, farming background
6. Abraham Lincoln - 52, thin, farming background, some latter day health problems but give him a speed-suit and he’d crush an 800
7. Franklin Pierce - 48, thin, heavy drinker who died from cirrhosis of the liver, nearly beats Lincoln out of spite
8. John F. Kennedy - 43 (second youngest President), thin, could probably fake it for 5k if he got some injections for back pain and other TUEs
9. James K. Polk - 49, thin, farming background, successfully met his major goals as President
10. John Tyler - 51, thin, “prone to diarrhea throughout life”
11. Andrew Jackson - 61, blue collar and tough as nails, perhaps the thinnest President ever, catalysts for genocide often make the best runners
12. Ulysses S. Grant - 46, middleweight throughout most his life, winning the Civil War engenders mental toughness
13. Theodore Roosevelt - 42 (youngest President ever), somewhat stout but in that hardy & functional way, big time outdoorsman
14. Woodrow Wilson - 56, thin, involved in football and baseball in his college days
15. James Garfield - 49, middleweight, blue collar background, military success
16. George Washington - 57, thin, military hero, could throw small objects across broad rivers
17. Thomas Jefferson - 57, thin, found success in many areas
18. James Monroe - 58, thin, military background, weird face
19. Bill Clinton - 46 (3rd youngest President), a bit hefty, recreational runner, cheeseburger connoisseur
20. Lyndon B. Johnson - 55, thin, had a nickname for his penis, looked like a giant penis
21. John Quincy Adams - 57, diminutive, squirrelly looking (squirrels are fast)
22. Andrew Johnson - 56, middleweight, blue collar and military background
23. George H.W. Bush - 64, thin, recreational runner, exquisite legs
24. Richard Nixon - 56, middleweight, football player in college, would probably cheat
25. Dwight D. Eisenhower - 62, thin, lengthy military career, college football player who once tackled Jim Thorpe
26. Gerald Ford - 61, fairly thin, WWII hero, college football star
27. Martin Van Buren - 54, looks to be 100 in most portraits but fairly thin at time of election, founder of the “Van Buren Boys” street gang
28. Warren Harding - 55, middleweight, died of a heart attack while in office
29. Herbert Hoover - 54, portly, pioneered a yard game he called “Hooverball” to stay in fair health
30. Rutherford B. Hayes - 54, middleweight, Civil War hero
31. Harry S. Truman - 60, nondescript build, blue collar farming background, lengthy military career, looks like a frickin’ nerd to me
32. Millard Fillmore - 50, fat was largely confined to his face, funny name, looked most like Alec Baldwin of any President
33. William McKinley - 54, a little heavy, couldn’t even outrun that bullet
34. John Adams - 61, still the second most toad-like President in history, a spirited competitor
35. Zachary Taylor - 64, middleweight, gruesome face, died from diarrhea 15 months into first term
36. Benjamin Harrison - 55, thicc (2 Cs), served in the Civil War, exceptionally forgettable
37. Ronald Reagan - 69 (3rd oldest President when first elected, 2nd oldest to hold office), thin
38. Joe Biden - 78 (oldest President ever), thin and evidently in fine health
39. William Henry Harrison - 68, thin, became fatally ill as soon as he took office but on day one who knows, maybe he had a decent 5k in him
40. James Buchanan - 65, slightly rotund, what a loser
41. Chester Arthur - 51, one of the great fat Presidents and sported magnificent facial hair, virtually forgotten, dead at 57
42. Grover Cleveland - 47, overtook John Adams as our most toad-like President, the very embodiment of the name Grover
43. Donald Trump - 70 (2nd oldest to become President, 3rd oldest to hold office), perfect physical specimen, doctors say he could live to 200
44. William H. Taft - 51, well remembered only for his corpulence, 340 pounds makes him easily the heaviest President, required a special bathtub installed to fit his proportions
45. Franklin D. Roosevelt - 51, middleweight, could not walk of his own volition (sadly for him this is a foot race)
...
Discus
I posted this once already and it was deleted, but that’s okay, it gave me the opportunity to make a couple of last minute adjustments.
I honestly can’t understand why it would be deleted considering what is allowed to remain on the boards, especially since I gave this site a hundred bucks basically just to say “thanks.”
Anyway, if every U.S. President showed up to race a 5k in their peak 5k shape during their time in office, who would win? Who would finish last? This is what I have so far:
(Note: the age listed after each Prez is their age upon first assuming office.)
1. Jimmy Carter - 52, thin and active, former XC runner at the Naval Academy
2. James Madison - 57, most diminutive U.S. President in history (built like Haile Gebrselassie)
3. Barack Obama - 47, thin, jogged recreationally, half-Kenyan, somewhat of a smoker
4. George W. Bush - 54, thin, recreational runner - “less than 20 miles per week”
5. Calvin Coolidge - 51, thin, farming background
6. Abraham Lincoln - 52, thin, farming background, some latter day health problems but give him a speed-suit and he’d crush an 800
7. Franklin Pierce - 48, thin, heavy drinker who died from cirrhosis of the liver, nearly beats Lincoln out of spite
8. John F. Kennedy - 43 (second youngest President), thin, could probably fake it for 5k if he got some injections for back pain and other TUEs
9. James K. Polk - 49, thin, farming background, successfully met his major goals as President
10. John Tyler - 51, thin, “prone to diarrhea throughout life”
11. Andrew Jackson - 61, blue collar and tough as nails, perhaps the thinnest President ever, catalysts for genocide often make the best runners
12. Ulysses S. Grant - 46, middleweight throughout most his life, winning the Civil War engenders mental toughness
13. Theodore Roosevelt - 42 (youngest President ever), somewhat stout but in that hardy & functional way, big time outdoorsman
14. Woodrow Wilson - 56, thin, involved in football and baseball in his college days
15. James Garfield - 49, middleweight, blue collar background, military success
16. George Washington - 57, thin, military hero, could throw small objects across broad rivers
17. Thomas Jefferson - 57, thin, found success in many areas
18. James Monroe - 58, thin, military background, weird face
19. Bill Clinton - 46 (3rd youngest President), a bit hefty, recreational runner, cheeseburger connoisseur
20. Lyndon B. Johnson - 55, thin, had a nickname for his penis, looked like a giant penis
21. John Quincy Adams - 57, diminutive, squirrelly looking (squirrels are fast)
22. Andrew Johnson - 56, middleweight, blue collar and military background
23. George H.W. Bush - 64, thin, recreational runner, exquisite legs
24. Richard Nixon - 56, middleweight, football player in college, would probably cheat
25. Dwight D. Eisenhower - 62, thin, lengthy military career, college football player who once tackled Jim Thorpe
26. Gerald Ford - 61, fairly thin, WWII hero, college football star
27. Martin Van Buren - 54, looks to be 100 in most portraits but fairly thin at time of election, founder of the “Van Buren Boys” street gang
28. Warren Harding - 55, middleweight, died of a heart attack while in office
29. Herbert Hoover - 54, portly, pioneered a yard game he called “Hooverball” to stay in fair health
30. Rutherford B. Hayes - 54, middleweight, Civil War hero
31. Harry S. Truman - 60, nondescript build, blue collar farming background, lengthy military career, looks like a frickin’ nerd to me
32. Millard Fillmore - 50, fat was largely confined to his face, funny name, looked most like Alec Baldwin of any President
33. William McKinley - 54, a little heavy, couldn’t even outrun that bullet
34. John Adams - 61, still the second most toad-like President in history, a spirited competitor
35. Zachary Taylor - 64, middleweight, gruesome face, died from diarrhea 15 months into first term
36. Benjamin Harrison - 55, thicc (2 Cs), served in the Civil War, exceptionally forgettable
37. Ronald Reagan - 69 (3rd oldest President when first elected, 2nd oldest to hold office), thin
38. Joe Biden - 78 (oldest President ever), thin and evidently in fine health
39. William Henry Harrison - 68, thin, became fatally ill as soon as he took office but on day one who knows, maybe he had a decent 5k in him
40. James Buchanan - 65, slightly rotund, what a loser
41. Chester Arthur - 51, one of the great fat Presidents and sported magnificent facial hair, virtually forgotten, dead at 57
42. Grover Cleveland - 47, overtook John Adams as our most toad-like President, the very embodiment of the name Grover
43. Donald Trump - 70 (2nd oldest to become President, 3rd oldest to hold office), perfect physical specimen, doctors say he could live to 200
44. William H. Taft - 51, well remembered only for his corpulence, 340 pounds makes him easily the heaviest President, required a special bathtub installed to fit his proportions
45. Franklin D. Roosevelt - 51, middleweight, could not walk of his own volition (sadly for him this is a foot race)