Elite runners must be terrible parents

From what I know, the non-elite spouse supports the runner in every way. They run the house, they take care of the kids and likely make the majority of the money so that the elite runner can devote themselves to training.

its called sucking it up. Buy a treadmill so you can run anytime of day and interrupt runs to deal with kids. Once dealt with, hop right back on. Most parents watch tv for more time than an elite runner spends running each week. Another option is adoption. You can adopt like 6 year olds or even older kids like the Halls. If you want to be an elite runner, you'll find a way, if not, you'll find some excuses.

Elite runners probably don't get up in the middle of the night to take care of the kid. They let the spouse do it most of the time. This is not unlike any other couple where one works and the other stays home with the kid (so is able to take naps throughout the day to make up for missed sleep). Is that your definition of a terrible parent?

great response teach!!!

Gaga dada wrote:

We have had a kid who is a normal infant and toddler sleeper--not terrible, not great....

Interested to hear anyone's insights...

Before I can respond I will need you to define a "normal infant and toddler sleeper"--what does that mean to you? How old is your kid? How much are they sleeping now? What were their sleeping habits after they switched from pure teet feeds to bottle feeding? Where are they sleeping (i.e. Your bed, a bassinet / crib in your room, a crib / bed in their own room)? What is your & your partners nightly bedtime ritual / process for your kid? What time of the day do they go down for bed at night? How many naps do they take a day?

Depends on the level of runner.

World class - terrible parent. Hell Farah doesn't even live on the same continent.

B/C lister (some salary + room and board, light working hours if any) - perfectly fine. Spouse takes care for the few hours they are running, if the kid is even awake when they go for their first run. No different than a normal working parent.

Fringe pro - toss up. The guys living in a tent in Flagstaff waiting tables can't even support themselves, but there are also guys working full time that are totally fine.

Interesting, I think these terms just mean very different things to us.

Teach, by definition what you describe isn't the schedule of an elite track athlete. Squeezing in treadmill runs with breaks thrown in is not the stuff of championship training. Weekend warrior, local road whore, maybe.

By my definition, at least, if you are not sharing night time wake ups, you are not really parenting. If an elite runner earns enough that his or her spouse can stay home, do all wake ups, care during day, naps, etc. that's great, but you can't really call what the elite athlete is doing parenting. Maybe cohabiting and serving as an occasional playmate, but not parenting.

My kid has slept in his own crib since 10 weeks, no nighttime feeding since 6 months, but every time he gets sick, he wakes up a few times each night. He's been going through an early wake up phase the past two weeks. These things happen, maybe not to all kids, but a lot, and I just can't imagine helping a kid through as the primary or equal caregiver and still training at an elite level.

Gaga dada wrote:

Interesting, I think these terms just mean very different things to us.

Teach, by definition what you describe isn't the schedule of an elite track athlete. Squeezing in treadmill runs with breaks thrown in is not the stuff of championship training. Weekend warrior, local road whore, maybe.

...

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Or Ingrid Kristiansen.

I know that Nick Willis has said he spends 2-3 hours a day training and has the rest of the day to be with his son. How hard is that? Sure, if you're trying to train for a couple hours on top of an eight hour workday while raising small kids it could be pretty tough. But even that depends on the particular kid. When mine were babies we lost very little sleep because of them.

gaga dada, i dont disagree that that is "not really parenting" but it is important to note that elite runners are definitely not the worst offenders of this pseudoparenting. my parents are both in corporate/business world and they did even less than the hours these elite runners are doing. i think it is very very common for any parent with a perfectly run-of-the-mill time-consuming job to replace parenting with a nanny, one spouse does all the work, etc. the elite runners definitely arent the only guilty party.

I get that your kid is going through a bad phase, but I wouldn't project onto other parents so much. How many of us work full-time jobs and still get a lot of mileage in as hobby joggers while raising multiple kids? If we can do that, I imagine an elite treating running as his/her full-time job can handle it fine while being a decent parent.

The average elite has a heck of a lot more free time than the average parent. I doubt even the most committed elite is spending more than 4-5 hours per day on training and related items. Many working parents spend 10-12 hours per day away from their child between work and commute time.

If you're a normal working parent and want to workout then you're likely sacrificing sleep. When my kid was born I went from sleeping 7-9 hours per night to 5-6 hours per night. If I want to guarantee a run then I'm getting up at 4:30 or 5am when everyone else is sleeping. Other times I'm either leaving the kid with my wife for an hour after work or taking the kid out in the running stroller.

Bottom line is you adapt and if it's something you want to pursue then you'll find a way. My mileage has become more consistent and my times have improved. Downside is when I crash, I crash hard. Easy days are complete slogs. Overwhelming fatigue sets in once every 2-3 weeks and you fall asleep at 7 or 8pm.

You're projecting. As a self proclaimed hobby jogger you have no idea what it takes to be ELITE. Aren't you a bit young to be a parent? 3:46 is CHILDS PLAY!

Interesting thread.

I actually think it would be harder to be a local road warrior than an elite parent. If you are elite, it is your job. Yeah, true the elites aren't the ones that stay up at night with the kid, but even if they did they would make it a priority to get rest the next day or maybe they might move a workout.

I stayed home with my son for a year. It was my mission to run every day and even ran a marathon PR while my son was an infant (and I'm a breastfeeding mom). Then I went back to work and work 8-9 hours a day and have such mom GUILT if I go for a run. But if running were my job I'd have no issue. Plus elites do not run 9 hours a day.

The other point about TV and the treadmill is a great one. But I need to get over the exhaustion and excuses first.

First off most of us would not consider 3:46 an elite runner ( not sure if you were implying that)

As a runner that had top ten fastest times in the world I can say that I am a great parent to my three kids.

My secret?

I waited until I retired to have kids.

Worst thing about parenting is other parents. Thanks for projecting your assumptions and proving my point.

edward teach wrote:

its called sucking it up. Buy a treadmill so you can run anytime of day and interrupt runs to deal with kids. Once dealt with, hop right back on.

Good advice, even for hobby joggers.

Well, I have two kids and a full time job. It takes a lot of understanding from your other side to work it out. All the rest is about about maximizing every single training session. Now I have time only for one training per day so it must count or there is no use for it. But everything is possible.

If the mom is stay at home then she should care for the kid and the husband should work and make the money while spending time with the kids when not sleeping or working.