High School Girls XC and crazy parents

What is the parent suggesting you do?

Not a coach but I am a dad. Sounds like you can't handle a talented runner and have led her astray. If you could coach, she'd be running well and getting press. You've ruined her chances of success.

Obviously I am joking.

Tell him that she needs to drop three minutes before she is going to get any media coverage or special treatment. If she cannot hack the workouts, that is not your problem.

What does he say to you, specifically? Is he mean to you or does he think you guys are friends?

I've found the bad-seed parent will usually take as much of your energy as all the other parents combined. Try asking him how he wants this to workout ideally.

What sort of recognition are they looking for? You are giving them some sort of recognition on this thread, maybe you can send them the link to it?

Seriously though, it's usually the parents of the fastest kids who are psychotic. You've got a special case on your hands.

If I ever quit coaching HS it will be due to the hassle of dealing with parents.

Document, document, document.

It sounds like he just doesn't know his own daughter. I doubt she's told him about the workouts, missing training, etc. If you've got documentation you can prove your case: attendance records, performance records of her and similar athletes, etc.

Also, might mention this to your AD. Just informational for now. Right now he's just an annoying Dad, which I feel for you man, but just gotta deal with. Should he turn hostile though, you'll want allies in the administration. Better they know what's going on before it develops than have to fill in the blanks later.

Redirect him. Suggest to him that he directly contact the high school sports reporter for the local fish wrap to discuss more coverage of his his budding starlet. Tell him you will be ready to give the local reporter any info he requests for an article.

What do you mean she missed the final six weeks to rest for basketball? Can you clarify that?

Attendance is kept on a consistent basis. Last season she and the mother said their starlet wanted to shut it down because she is to tired for basketball conditioning and wanted extra rest before the season began. Inline with these other Nusances known as club soccer parent who has been brainwashed by the coach that their daughter will have a full ride to a d1 soccer program. I'm giving strong consideration to asking XC become a cut sport. From these half assed parent and their princesses daughter who are over cooked from their parents directing their lives, it's quite difficult to build a program, let alone a competitive team. Since when did 23 min plus 5k be worthy of praise? I think I'll begin exploring how to get some Kenyan high school girls students who run sub 18 at the drop of a hat and would love for an opportunity to study here.

Friend of mine left coaching after having to deal with parents much like this. Said he would only come back to coaching if he did so at an orphanage.

Excellent use of fishwrap in this thread

I have 33 girls on my team right now. I've had three leave in a very awkward manner this season. The parents of all three are not big fans of my coaching methods but I really don't care. I have to think of the team first. That is your job as the coach of the team.

The kids that come to practice and cut corners are extremely bad for the culture of the team. If I see them slacking off I usually send them home and ask them to really think about whether they want to be on the team or not before returning. They either quit or change their behavior. When they quit the other girls tend to take their training and team more seriously. I always see a change in attitude and it's generally a positive one.

You can't make everyone like you and if you do you're probably not a very good coach. Just the fact that this parent is not fond of you tells me you're probably doing the right thing. You should take pride in that.

I love the kids who put in a big effort but have no talent. They are the best because they are doing it to better themselves and inspire other team members. Make sure you give those kids the extra attention they deserve. If you have the right attitude on your team they will all get faster and it will become the norm to work hard.

The culture of your team is the most important thing you can build as a coach. Kids with talent who are slackers are absolutely the worst members of your team. They show everyone on the team they can have some measure of success without working hard. Then everyone thinks they can train like them.

Another method that tends to work is not allowing a kid to race when they are slacking off. I tell them and their parents if I need to that they are not ready to race and will be allowed to race when they show they can handle the training. I tell them I don't feel it is safe for them to compete without a serious risk of injury.

Anyway, I hear you. I have my share of crazy parents. They are not rational when it comes to their kids and will defend them whether they are right or wrong. You just have to be more thick skinned and consider that they are "crazy" as you put it. Why should you ever value the opinion of a crazy person?

I agree with otter. Awesome post.

Wish my daughters coaches (other sports) expected and demanded more from them. They are afraid to upset the girls. And by extension the parents.

In fact, I have been blocked from coaching soccer because a single parent was upset with me; because I expressed my expectation her daughter actually make a pass after she had already score 4 goals. So now I get to watch inept coaches coddle my kids. It's awesome.

Hang in there coach. Most importantly keep your emotions under control and maintain a consistent set of rules.

I suggest that you contact the Positive Coaching Alliance out of Palo Alto. Go to its website.

I encourage all coaches to try to get them to your school to talk to all coaches, parents and the athletes. Problem is that the troublesome parents are rarely the ones that come.

Disclaimer: I was once a trainer for PCA.

That's Great! Thanks for posting!

I think certain groups of coaches are just as bad if not worse than the parents. Some of them are entitled pricks who forget their place in the world.

2runnergirl wrote:

I've found the bad-seed parent will usually take as much of your energy as all the other parents combined. Try asking him how he wants this to workout ideally.

What sort of recognition are they looking for? You are giving them some sort of recognition on this thread, maybe you can send them the link to it?

Seriously though, it's usually the parents of the fastest kids who are psychotic. You've got a special case on your hands.

If I ever quit coaching HS it will be due to the hassle of dealing with parents.

re: " the bad-seed parent will usually take as much of your energy as all the other parents combined" - You are absolutely correct and it is almost a no win situation. This one parent/kid can screw up a team dynamic and ruin an entire season.

,,,sad, but true

Out of curiosity, what is your first language? Perhaps you should write in that and ask a friend with a better grasp of the English language to translate for you.

You can't build a program because you are a caustic, mostly illiterate coach. I bet you would find a way to screw up girls who walked into your program under 18. To paraphrase Joe Vigil you'd have them running sub 20 in no time.

The best thing you could do is quit coaching right now, and possibly return to school with your newfound extra time. The second best thing is to realize you are the problem and be a little more humble and receptive to others. I'd recommend option one though.

If you coach D1 in a competitive region of Michigan that means you are in the South East part of the state. Not sure how any parents think that someone not breaking 20 is going to get any attention in that region. There are numerous girls in the 18s and it's not like cross country is on the front page of the paper every day.

How, Indoor?, is your post relevant or helpful? Why so mean?

Correction, not Indoor? bur Retire Now, why that post?