He did this last year and I gave him a pass on it. I think I should push him into at least one activity.
He did this last year and I gave him a pass on it. I think I should push him into at least one activity.
How's he doing with his academics?
Yes. Maybe. No.
if historically, he's needed some kind of incentive, then yes.
if historically, he has interests and pursues them without much prompting, then no. Let him come to you with things to do.
if neither one, probably lots of talking left to be done to figure out what's going on. He's a teenager, so you might have a hard time understanding each other.
Making a plan together is always advised.
Let him troll on letsrun a little to whet his appetite for distance running. Then watch as his dreams become reality.
Google wrote:
How's he doing with his academics?
Not bad, B's. He could do better.
pop_pop!_v2.0 wrote:
Yes. Maybe. No.
if historically, he's needed some kind of incentive, then yes.
if historically, he has interests and pursues them without much prompting, then no. Let him come to you with things to do.
if neither one, probably lots of talking left to be done to figure out what's going on. He's a teenager, so you might have a hard time understanding each other.
Making a plan together is always advised.
He doesn't like to commit to anything. He likes to read, video games, rides his bike, has some friends he hangs with. He doesn't get excited by much.
He wouldn't want to make a plan. He's pretty passive about things. Not a bad kid.
Dad might push a bit more wrote:
Google wrote:How's he doing with his academics?
Not bad, B's. He could do better.
A classic middle of the road achiever. He's probably prefers to fly under the radar screen. Time to gently nudge him out of the nest before it transforms into a dank, dark basement habitat.
fly lil birdie wrote:
Dad might push a bit more wrote:Not bad, B's. He could do better.
A classic middle of the road achiever. He's probably prefers to fly under the radar screen. Time to gently nudge him out of the nest before it transforms into a dank, dark basement habitat.
Well I tried to gently nudge him last year and he just said not interested.
Do you think I'd be right to force him to do one activity (sport or club) this fall/winter?
Are any of his friends in anything?
Does he want to go to college? If yes tell him being involved in something would make him look better.
Some of my friends said their parents gave them the choice of doing a sport or getting a job. That might be an option.
Dad might push a bit more wrote:
fly lil birdie wrote:A classic middle of the road achiever. He's probably prefers to fly under the radar screen. Time to gently nudge him out of the nest before it transforms into a dank, dark basement habitat.
Well I tried to gently nudge him last year and he just said not interested.
Do you think I'd be right to force him to do one activity (sport or club) this fall/winter?
Sure do. No video games until he commits to at least one school-related activity.
Sometimes, when gentle nudging fails to have its desired effect, bribery is warranted.
Dad might push a bit more wrote:
He did this last year and I gave him a pass on it. I think I should push him into at least one activity.
Yes. My best runner at Cornell was smoking a lot of pot, not doing anything in HS (Well i think he was an aerial skiier hence the pot smoking) up through 10th grade. His dad said, "I don't care what it is - but you are doing one sport at school next year."
He picked running and ended up being an All-American. Now it's not fair as the kid was incredibly talented at everything he set his mind to (Cd published, all-american in running etc) so it's a lot more fun to do something and find out you are amazing at it. But if his dad hadn't made him try it, it would have never happened.
My kids always had sports they were interested in so this was never much of an issue for us. But there was one semester where one of them was thinking of not doing any sport or other activity. I told him that was OK but that he was not going to be allowed to come home and immediately turn on the TV or video games. He could read, do schoolwork, do some sort of workout on his own, etc. but nothing on the screen front. It never got to that point but maybe something along these lines would work for you.
HRE wrote:
My kids always had sports they were interested in so this was never much of an issue for us. But there was one semester where one of them was thinking of not doing any sport or other activity. I told him that was OK but that he was not going to be allowed to come home and immediately turn on the TV or video games. He could read, do schoolwork, do some sort of workout on his own, etc. but nothing on the screen front. It never got to that point but maybe something along these lines would work for you.
Exactly. Never allow TV, video games or electronics during the week. If you follow this recommendation, your children will eagerly gravitate toward after school activities in order to be with their friends.
TAA wrote:
Are any of his friends in anything?
Does he want to go to college? If yes tell him being involved in something would make him look better.
Some of my friends said their parents gave them the choice of doing a sport or getting a job. That might be an option.
A couple of his friends do sports. He's not a lazy kid. If I ask him do chore like mow, clean the garage or something like that he'll do it and not complain too much. No complaints from his teachers either.
He always says he doesn't want to join things because he doesn't want to get pinned down. He likes his freedom.
I noticed he doesn't get excited by anything and even when his friends are talking plans, sometimes he doesn't commit to some event in the future. He often says let me see what going on when we get closer. He says maybe often.
rojo wrote:
Dad might push a bit more wrote:He did this last year and I gave him a pass on it. I think I should push him into at least one activity.
Yes. My best runner at Cornell was smoking a lot of pot, not doing anything in HS (Well i think he was an aerial skiier hence the pot smoking) up through 10th grade. His dad said, "I don't care what it is - but you are doing one sport at school next year."
He picked running and ended up being an All-American. Now it's not fair as the kid was incredibly talented at everything he set his mind to (Cd published, all-american in running etc) so it's a lot more fun to do something and find out you are amazing at it. But if his dad hadn't made him try it, it would have never happened.
Agree 100%. I'm was (and still am) very introverted. Happy being by myself reading, or with close friends, not doing much of anything. My dad, who is very laid back, always said I should do something, so I played little league sports, then ran cross country. I was terrible at little league, decent at running, but in all of them I got out, met people, interacted, made friends, and found out something I was pretty good at and enjoyed. I'll always need to have some alone time, but getting involved in activities led me to new interests and made it easier to be around people, which is something that's always beneficial down the road.
He'll thank you later.
zippitydoodah wrote:
HRE wrote:My kids always had sports they were interested in so this was never much of an issue for us. But there was one semester where one of them was thinking of not doing any sport or other activity. I told him that was OK but that he was not going to be allowed to come home and immediately turn on the TV or video games. He could read, do schoolwork, do some sort of workout on his own, etc. but nothing on the screen front. It never got to that point but maybe something along these lines would work for you.
Exactly. Never allow TV, video games or electronics during the week. If you follow this recommendation, your children will eagerly gravitate toward after school activities in order to be with their friends.
This. My kid was sort of a loner, came home and watched TV/videogames. His mom and I made him play football. He was initially scared and hated it but a month in, he really likes it. Not the physical part but he loves hanging out with all his new friends after practice, before and after games. Now he doesn't want to quit even though he really sucks at it.
Your kid may have the engineer gene.
don't let him go to college
it is a waste of time and money
he should start a shit shoveling company
my dad left the 2nd grade and was making $275k a year shoveling shit a year later.
whatever you do,
do NOT let him find this site.
Well it can be just as frustrating to have them be in a sport, be naturally very good, but not want to practice and get better.
But I feel for you. I don't know what to do with my underachiever either.
YES