Asked out a female coworker. She said yes. However...

So you asked her out she said yes, and now avoids you?

I take it you never had the date--but did you even set a time and place?

This all sounds very high school-junior high. But seems like being very open about it would be the best. Follow up (just once) and ask "are you still interested in a date?" (and when and where). If not, then you move on and you may or may not become friends again.

If she avoids the afternoon walk-outs with the group, maybe she's just nervous at the change in your relationship but that may not mean she's not interested.

Never dated a coworker, but the do's and don'ts would depend on how closely you work together. A supervisor-subordinate--never, that should not happen unless one or the other quits the job. Working closely on a team or long-term project, that should probably be a no as well, at least until you get re-assigned. Casual acquaintance in the office in a separate department or division. That should usually not be a problem, but that depends on how much you would see each other on the job, as well as the work environmnent/culture.

Issues like a mag wrote:

dreamin wrote:

Oh come on, don't be so dramatic. Some girls have a fear of disappointing or hurting others so have a hard time saying no. That doesn't mean they "have more problems than you want to deal with." I guarantee there are some women you know and think are perfectly capable adults that would have a hard time saying no.

A "fear of disappointing others" means they have problems. If you can't communicate your feelings over such a little situation then you have problems.

Not being able to say no is a serious problem. That's how you end up in rape trouble. Stay away from girls that don't know how to say no.

I'm not saying it's a good thing, but being overly sensitive to others' feelings is not as serious as yall are making it out to be. You are extrapolating not wanting to hurt the feelings of a coworker and friend into getting into rape trouble and having serious life issues. It's a stretch. Don't let your imagination get carried away and assign some extreme personality flaws to a person you have never met based of 5 sentences on a message board.

dreamin wrote:

Issues like a mag wrote:

A "fear of disappointing others" means they have problems. If you can't communicate your feelings over such a little situation then you have problems.

Not being able to say no is a serious problem. That's how you end up in rape trouble. Stay away from girls that don't know how to say no.

I'm not saying it's a good thing, but being overly sensitive to others' feelings is not as serious as yall are making it out to be. You are extrapolating not wanting to hurt the feelings of a coworker and friend into getting into rape trouble and having serious life issues. It's a stretch. Don't let your imagination get carried away and assign some extreme personality flaws to a person you have never met based of 5 sentences on a message board.

You are the one with the out of control imagination. I didn't assign any extreme personality flaws to the OPs girl. I'm talking about the category of girl that you are talking about (ones that have fears of disappointing others).

I connected not being able to say no with rape trouble. That's not a stretch at all. I know of plenty of girls who had sex when they didn't want to simply because they didn't want to disappoint anyone or didn't know how to say no.

You have horrible reading comprehension. Work on it.

Being overly sensitive to others feelings isn't bad. Not being able to communicate how you truly feel and submitting or committing to things that you don't want to do is very bad. Avoiding situations that you don't want to deal with is bad too.

There is another guy. Find out who he is, or at least get a suspicion, then go to is place of work with your biggest, most threatening thug friend in tow, go up and whisper in his ear:

"I'm going to KILL you!"

Where I work, guys do this all the time, and we get the girls on board.

8/10

Brilliant! Lots of serious responses. Well played.

*golf clap*

I think pics of the OP will go far in answering many of the outstanding questions we all have about the situation at hand and its future outcome.

OP- pics please? We really want to help you.

Whatever dude. We aren't talking about a "category of girl". We are talking about the OP girl specifically. That's clear when reading the post i responded to that started this whole stupid thing.

dreamin wrote:

Whatever dude. We aren't talking about a "category of girl". We are talking about the OP girl specifically. That's clear when reading the post i responded to that started this whole stupid thing.

You are another type of girl that has issues. When confronted with criticism and correction, you respond with "whatever" and refuse to accept blame or even consider the possibility that you might be wrong.

You may have been talking about specifically the OP's girl, but I am not. I stated that clearly when I said "I'm not talking about the OP's girl". It doesn't even make sense that you would be talking about the OP's girl because there isn't enough information to determine if she is or isn't that type of girl.

Whether or not you were talking about the OP's girl is even more irrelevant. Clearly you just can't accept being wrong or corrected. We were talking about girls being overly sensitive and not wanting to disappoint people. What specific girl we are talking about is irrelevant.

Please provide your name so we all know to not try to date you.

Um. No to marriage. We made plans for a second date and eere texting after for a few days then sudden silence.

I thought we'd have a second date. No more no less. You have a crazy imagination dog.

[quote]Issues like a mag wrote:

....there isn't enough information to determine if she is or isn't that type of girl.

[quote]Issues like a mag wrote:

You're right, it doesn't make sense for this reason. This is exactly the mistake the person (Mr. Anderson) did that I was responding too originally, and was the whole point of my response to him and what I've been talking about this whole time. You apparently went off into a generalized debate about that "type of girl". So sorry I assumed you were staying on the original topic.

And why you gotta be mean?

[quote]Gastronicus wrote:

Do a long, LONG run, then hit the local Ben & Jerry's and load up on Chunky Monkey...then rent some action flicks.

quote]

Great answer.

Women have crazy little ways of communicating, or not communicating.

Such mystery.

http://cdn3-www.thefashionspot.com/assets/uploads/gallery/beauty_8107/eyeliner_through_the_ages_8221/90s_20120105_1112244385.jpg

Hmmm, if I'm really going to be helpful here, I'm going to need to see more of your training. What sort of mileage are you doing? And what workouts? Tempos?

I've seen similar issues before, and I find that one fix can be running easy runs a bit faster. What feels a little less than easy at the time may still actually be an easy pace, that you'll recover from nicely.

I would also try to mix in strides more often. If you go hard in the morning, maybe some afternoon strides or hill sprints can help recruit speed without needed to hammer a workout.

Hmmm, if I'm really going to be helpful here, I'm going to need to see more of your training. What sort of mileage are you doing? And what workouts? Tempos?

I've seen similar issues before, and I find that one fix can be running easy runs a bit faster. What feels a little less than easy at the time may still actually be an easy pace, that you'll recover from nicely.

I would also try to mix in strides more often. If you go hard in the morning, maybe some afternoon strides or hill sprints can help recruit speed without needed to hammer a workout.

I don't know if this has been mentioned directly yet, but she may also have had some very valid second thoughts about dating a co-worker after saying yes initially. At the least she likely has second thoughts and is hoping you'll drop the issue by keeping a low profile. As someone else said, take the high road and act normally around her when you see her. Think about if you want to follow up with her on asking her out a second time or not.

seeing is knowing wrote:

I think pics of the OP will go far in answering many of the outstanding questions we all have about the situation at hand and its future outcome.

OP- pics please? We really want to help you.

Or, better yet, pics of your tighty whiteys?

dreamin wrote:

[quote]Issues like a mag wrote:

....there isn't enough information to determine if she is or isn't that type of girl.

Issues like a mag wrote:

You're right, it doesn't make sense for this reason. This is exactly the mistake the person (Mr. Anderson) did that I was responding too originally, and was the whole point of my response to him and what I've been talking about this whole time. You apparently went off into a generalized debate about that "type of girl". So sorry I assumed you were staying on the original topic.

And why you gotta be mean?

Didn't intend to be mean. Just thought you took it to that level when you said " whatever, dude". You single?

While you were waiting, she was at HR filing a complaint.

People, you don't put co-workers in those awkward situations! You'll probably get to sit through a sexual harassment seminar, have fun!

Try online dating where if the date goes bad, you never have to see them again.

Fastnbulbous wrote:

While you were waiting, she was at HR filing a complaint.

People, you don't put co-workers in those awkward situations! You'll probably get to sit through a sexual harassment seminar, have fun!

Try online dating where if the date goes bad, you never have to see them again.

It's not sexual harassment or any other kind of harassment. Any girl who would file such a complaint is totally crazy.

Wut733 wrote:

Doclove wrote:

So someone kisses you once and they have to marry you

She liked you a bit but not enough when she had time to think about it or didn't like the kiss

The op has not even got out of the gates. Maybe she felt awkward as you worked together or though it was a drink as work colleagues - hence the group 'date'

No group dates is the rule unless you have been going out steady for a long time

Um. No to marriage. We made plans for a second date and eere texting after for a few days then sudden silence.

I thought we'd have a second date. No more no less. You have a crazy imagination dog.

The phone is for setting dates dude not wishy washy texting on the phone. You literally talked her straight out of liking you. You should have not contacted her at all after the date for a week before calling her and making a definite date at a definite time. It's a scientific fact women are more attracted to men's who feelings are unclear, for the first few weeks stick to no more than one date a week or your going to experience unnecessary pain.