New Dads, help

My son turns 2 in October, and I have found that any time I try to adjust to his waking schedule, it changes about 2-3 weeks later.

I had a great couple weeks of running at 5-6AM before he woke up around 7, then he started waking up at 5:30.

Then I would run during his first nap from 9-10:30, but he eliminated that nap altogether.

Now my options are: Run during lunch, run with stroller either before or after dinner (where I live this is usually at least 85 degrees out), or run once he's down for sleep at 8PM.

Not gonna lie, rarely do I get out for the PM run. I usually pretty tired or would rather spend time with the wife.

If your wife gives you any guff about her having to be up early with the kid while you are out running, show her this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izBUPZ3yjpU

My kids are teenagers now. For the first couple of years of their life at least, I had almost no time to myself. My advice to you, is not to try to squeeze your running into your schedule at all costs. In the grand scheme of things, our running doesn't matter at all. It's just a hobby. Your kids ALWAYS come first - don't treat them as an inconvenience. Put your wife and kids first. if not, you'll end up divorced, but then you'll have plenty of time to run, I guess.

veterandad wrote:

There is no reason for the kid to be awake before 6:00 at the earliest. If the wife is waking the kid up, then you need to tell her to stop. If the wife can't sleep, then she needs a hobby. Get up at 4:50 and get out the door before she gets out of bed.

You get the kid you get. Some kids sleep. Some kids don't. My oldest has never slept past 6am in his life and wakes up to the sound of a cricket. I've switched to running at night and, when the kid was stroller-bound, took him out for runs. Not two hour runs, but at least I could help out mom by getting him out of the house in the morning and letting her get some sleep.

Agree with the posters who said "spend some time with your kid" and don't take running so seriously. Also, most men put in about 10% of the effort at parenting. Don't be part of the 90% that makes her do all the work. Rather than being a selfish dad, putting yourself first in the morning, put your family first, and make the morning work for your family -- not just you.

My girl is 5 months and you're strategy is good, but you have to be willing to skip a run or be flexible.

Don't let your wife wake up a sleeping baby at 5am. That is crazy. If the baby is awake, help out. The baby will take a nap around 7 or so and you can run then. If that doesn't work, a baby that wakes up at 5am is going to go to bed really early, so run at night. Have an honest conversation with your wife.

After work I take stroller walks, but does anyone know what age it is safe to run with a baby? I heard 9 months before. Thinking I should wait until she can sit up on her own before attempting 7 min pace on a bike trail. Thanks.

Boulderunner wrote:

I have a Bob revolution se and love it. Havent tried the SUV mentioned above but if its 1000 times better than it must weigh nothing and have frictionless bearings, because the revolution is great.

For some odd reason, I have used all three main BOB strollers for running so I can try to help a bit.

First of all, I would recommend the BOB SUV over all other strollers for normal high-mileage runners. The Revolution is better if you only want one stroller and need to use it for running and grocery shopping, etc. The Ironman stroller is actually the worst in my opinion. It was my first purchase, thinking it would be best for running, and I found that it was WAY too fragile and the wheels lost air very quickly.

So when we had our kid, my sister gave us her Revolution. She had barely used it. The swivel wheel is too small for serious running and it can easily get knocked off track during a run (think about your stroller veering left very slowly). Worrying about keeping your stroller true is really annoying. It is good for a big stroller in small places (stores, restaurants), but not ideal for running.

So I bought an Ironman and found that it was fine, but it had a hard time on even fairly flat trails. Bounced around a lot and - like I said - I popped the tires on it all the time. It is lighter than the SUV and Revolution, but I didn't think that was much of a plus. Maybe if I were a 90 lb. woman...

So with the next kid I bought an SUV and I have used it more than I ever thought I would. I can take it anywhere and it holds up to even the harshest conditions. It stays true no matter what due to fixed wheels, and it is impossible to break. The bigger front wheel also makes it better if you run faster than average.

They are all good, quality strollers, but if you are a runner, I agree that the SUV is the best.

I have never tried the BabyJogger brand.

Just want to confirm that I do know that you can lock the front wheel of the Revolution. I did that every time and it would still go untrue. You can adjust it but it was never perfect.

To the other poster asking about age: I was told by our doctor that between 9-12 months is being safe as long as you use the infant adapter (it takes their infant car seat). I just ran on the sidewalks at first and honestly, it is less jarring than a normal car ride for the kid.

Just be careful of where you run. No busy roads or crowded bike trails. Get used to your kid being 3-5 feet in front of you, too. AND USE THE SAFETY STRAP!!! All it takes is one fall and your kid might end up in traffic.

Thanks for the help. By the time she is 9 months, winter will here, so I'll probably wait until next spring.

39...no kids. Long term girlfriend.Thank f**king christ I didn't have kids! So happy to read posts like this and realize I made the right decision!Thanks for confirming that.

We've gone many thousands of miles on a baby jogger, about 20 mpw probably much of the year for 4 years with my daughter and now almost three years with my son. The frame cracked in year four. I had it welded at a boatyard. The weld then snapped soon after. I called the company and they sent a new frame for free. It still functions. The key is that the front wheel does not swivel and it is big. The only drawback is the relative lack of protection from sun/rain. I generally try not to use it to get in major miles at a time with the kids, because it is better for them to be active and you do not want to waste the nap. I would jog alongside my daughter 1.5 miles to library/park most days, then when she was getting tired, she'd get into the stroller and I'd run 2-3 miles more, she'd fall asleep by 2 miles and then I'd try to make the transfer to her bed and get some work in. I have run 100-112 mpw while also spending a ton of time with the kids during these eight years. The thing is that you be flexible and carve out some portions of the day, as available--but every single day--to get your runs in, even if sometimes that means you get in three short runs. Once they can ride bikes, find a safe place to go and they can ride alongside.

lots of good advice on this thread and i agree with buying a jogging stroller and with managing your expectations the next two years appropriately since if you try to get the same training and results you will simply be let down. that said, running was the one thing i carried over from my pre-kids days, and it served me really well in terms of maintaining my sanity and my marriage. even if it meant a long run either saturday or sunday morning, that 90 minutes away made me happy and ready to spend the rest of the day with my kids. when i skipped the run, I began to resent my wife and kids (as unreasonable as that sounds), and was a lesser dad and husband. its amazing what an hour gets you! talk to your wife and make sure she knows you've dropped drinking, some old friends, going out, etc in exchange for dad duties, but that you're simply happier with an hour running 5 mornings a week and would like to keep it going, even if your results aren't the same.

NJ Possible wrote:

talk to your wife and make sure she knows you've dropped drinking, some old friends, going out, etc in exchange for dad duties, but that you're simply happier with an hour running 5 mornings a week and would like to keep it going, even if your results aren't the same.

Just want to say that while you shouldn't get smashed, taking the wife out for regular nights on the town is a great way to keep the marriage strong after a kid. It can get expensive, but it is worth it. We have three kids and I take my wife out on dates at least twice a month. Half the time we get a sitter and the other half the kids will stay with my in-laws. You can drink, meet friends, go out, have fun... just be responsible.

Obviously, you cannot do that with a newborn, but the idea that your life stops after kids is just stupid. Just be ready for an early morning after a few beers ;)

Kids are the best.

Ha ha man I love life wrote:

39...no kids. Long term girlfriend.

Thank f**king christ I didn't have kids! So happy to read posts like this and realize I made the right decision!

Thanks for confirming that.

The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.

I hope life throws you a curveball and you get the chance to experience the joys and sorrows parenting can offer. Life absent responsible child rearing is a life unfulfilled.

Every healthy person's desires for life change as they grow and mature. When I was 5, I wanted to be a garbage man because I thought garbage trucks were cool. I grew older and my dream changed. When I was 20, I wanted to party forever, make tons of money, never marry and never have kids. I grew older, matured and found the rewards of marriage and parenthood far more than some uncommitted fling in my 20s. Don't be so sure of your choice just simply because you never reassessed your aspirations after 22.

Life often brings the most satisfaction to those who live life the least selfishly.

Ha ha man I love life wrote:

39...no kids. Long term girlfriend.

Thank f**king christ I didn't have kids! So happy to read posts like this and realize I made the right decision!

Thanks for confirming that.

A LetsRun thread gives you the confirmation you need that yes, you are indeed making the correct decisions in your life. On behalf of society, I'd like to thank you for not procreating.

Give her a good banging at 4:30. Put her out for a couple of hours while you do your (other) thing.

If you don't sweat too badly or can shower at work, take your running clothes to work and run before work. Or, if you can get out an hour early, run afterwards.

This is what I do with much better success than running from home.

I'm the mother of an 18 month old. My husband and I are very active and agreed from the beginning that finding a balance between work/family/and health (ie working out/running) would be the key to our success as a family. One of the first things we did when our daughter came along was invest in a good treadmill and a good jogger. I know neither are ideal, but I ran a marathon when my kid was 6 months, running all of my weekday mileage on that treadmill - for me, it's one of the best investments I ever made. Now we get up as early as 4:30 am to get our runs in - one runs inside on the treadmill (usually me), the other runs outside, all before my daughter is awake. I use the jogger less, but my husband really likes it. We have the Thule chariot. Like that it also converts to a bike trailer, and I actually use it more for that. The quality and quantity of your runs may change on a treadmill or jogger, but using these tools will help you keep your sanity. Hang in there!

Screw running...embrace fatherhood. In a few years you can start chasing your running dreams again.

Here is the deal: life has changed for you. It will eventually get a little more relaxed, but right now you are not free to do what you want, even if you get up at 5am.

Find a safe path or quiet neighborhood and just give your wife some time. I presume you are working and she is staying home with the baby. So she has absolutely NO time to herself.

So many of my friends think their kid needs to be doing a baby thing at all hours. They don't understand that you can take your kid to a field and just run around. Kids love that shit.

All true.

Wake up and change those diapers. Food, diapers, whatever. Put the phone down and interact. You have a kid now. Your time is not your own and it will be great. Keep the workout times very short and behind your partner and kid as priorities.

It worked out fine for me and my kid.

6xfatheroftheyear wrote:

Screw running...embrace fatherhood. In a few years you can start chasing your running dreams again.

this is the right answer. but a couple of other thoughts:

One thing you can do is Sleep train your kid. I have six month old who sleeps twelve hours a night. Feed and put them down at 6 and don't go in until between 6 and 7 the next morning unless there is an emergency (and only go in after 6 of they are awake). Then you can still get up at 5 to run and it will be against the rules for your wife to wake the baby.

I paid asleep consultant hundreds of dollars to tell me that. You can have it for free.