busting my arse wrote:
ScottEvil wrote:OP, thanks for the great thread. I haven't enjoyed a NRR thread so much since that dude wanted to room with the hot girl. Also, vivarepublica, good to see you again.
In some ways, I identify with you, OP. I'm 26, at a particular career juncture that makes dating kind of difficult, etc. So I'd like to offer some gentle criticism about the way you've conducted yourself in this thread and come across to others, and then some suggestions for where you can meet the girls you profess to be interested in.
Early on, OP, you responded to pretty mild joshing with insults, i.e. accusing others of "lack of reading comprehension and poor reasoning ability." I don't think that was a good idea, not only because it's just not good policy to be mean, but also because it caused people to turn against you and not give you the information you were looking for. These were anticipatable consequences; your condescension prevented you from achieving your goals. Is it possible that the same thing is true in other aspects of your life and that you haven't noticed it?
You claim to be a very good listener and bolster the claim with the fact that many people call you one. Dude, this is a generic compliment, like "he's really nice" or "he's really funny" that everyone gets. It means very little. In the thread, you say you are frustrated with the expectation that you listen to your S.O's trivial complaints for hours at a time. The rest of us read that and think, this guy probably treats people he's in relationships with badly, and what he calls hours of listening to B.S., they consider "expectations of someone I want to go to dinner with." Do you have anyone in your life whom you trust to give you objective feedback on how you treat women? Someone whose judgement you trust and who has a track record of telling it like it is to your face?
You make a number of essentializing claims about women in your posts, for instance: "it seems like all girls care about is whether the guy is "fun" or not." I am not a woman but I think that most women probably don't like being reduced to such an unflattering stereotype. We know that the habit of negative essentialization exists in your thoughts; has it possibly filtered into your speech? If so that might be a reason you aren't having long-term success with relationships.
Now where to meet the girls you're interested in:
1) Are you on Okcupid? You can filter on anything you'd like. Create an account, and filter down to, say, women with law or medical degrees ages 30-35. Read their profiles for who says that they're in marriage. You should also treat this as a way of potentially falsifying your initial beliefs about the problem (that it's the women and not you). If you've identified the settle-down crowd, and you still don't connect with them, consider the alternate hypothesis that something about you is turning off women in general, and focus on ways to fix it. Either way, I think a therapist would be a good idea.
2) Put out the word to your female friends that you're interested in meeting girls who are looking for serious relationships. I'm sure they know some candidates. You have female friends right? You describe one "close female friend" but then wildly insult her: "She lives paycheck to paycheck and has no hope of ever having a family unless she becomes a parasite as she has no ability to contribute financially to anything." Dude, it sounds like you don't really respect her, in which case, she's not really your friend. But if you have female friends whose opinion you respect, put the word out.
Good luck.
I'm the same guy that was thinking of rooming with the hot chick, and guess what? I now room with the hot chick. That thread illustrated how full of slapdick betas this place is as almost every response I got on that thread read something like, "Don't do it, man! You'll be on edge all the time trying to impress this girl who will never like you!" What a bunch of losers. It's no surprise they came out on this thread to poo poo someone who's more successful than them in every way.
Not sure why people misinterpreted everything I wrote again, but getting girls is not an issue for me. I can guarantee I've slept with more girls in the last few months than 90% of the guys on here, and that's being fairly selective and turning down a number of girls also. My problem with girls isn't that they don't like me, it's that they like me too much and think I should just devote every minute of my day to their entertainment and that they don't understand dedication, much like the people here. I'm 26 and make more than 90% of the people in my field, and that's including those with PhDs and decades of experience. I've had five different job offers in the last three months from competing companies trying to get me to jumps ship. When I've been without a job, I've gotten interviews for roughly half of the jobs I've applied to, and then I get job offers from about 3/4 of the jobs I interview for. Meanwhile, slapdick losers on here go 6+ months unemployed or working at Home Depot, living with parents, and can't get laid. Then they come on here and sh!t on someone who isn't a loser like them. It's pretty fvckin pathetic.
I also go out almost every day either with girls or with friends. My post was about those rare occasions when I choose to be committed to my job out of necessity rather than dicking around with stupid college girls who don't see any point in life beyond drinking and dancing to shitty radio pop music. Apparently nobody here sees any higher meaning in life either.
Y'all keep living your life how you like. Almost all of you are average and mediocre. You don't understand high-achievers, the winners in life, and you never will.