Mike...
You promoted that principal letter (which you didn't even have the guts to actually mail to her) via Facebook and Twitter to make you look like dad of the year, and it lead to you getting caught cheating at Via.
You said you had photo evidence you ran Via, then couldn't produce it, which only helped confirm you cheated.
You posted that awful Video of you running Boston to youtube, and ended up publicly mocked for it.
You hauled your cookies out to New Jersey to cheat at a Turkey Trot, only to sprain your ankle.
You were asked to leave a concert tailgate area, refused multiple times, and got arrested.
You claimed to be an xtu radio personality, and a DJ on the xtu sister station laughed, and laughed, and laughed at your claim... while on air.
You have refused to confess to your cheating, and all the above happened and more. You were named Philly's #1 loser, you're twitter account is locked, you had to delete your profile to scrub that reference to CBS, the second most popular article on Phillymag.com is news of your arrest, you can't run in road races anymore, and you are due in court on July 7.
Dude, it's time to be like George Costanza. Ignore every urge toward common sense and good judgment you've ever had, and do the opposite.
Confess you cheated at Via.