Yesterday, I ran 21 sconds faster on my 4-mile tempo run course- that was a solid PR before. I was very pleased, as you might imagine. Then I realized. That is far too much improvement to be done without artificial means. Five, maybe ten seconds would be reasonable. but 21 seconds is CRAZY! It does not follow the normal progression. There were some girls on the track when I finished, which were good for a couple of extra seconds of "chick power", but still...21 seconds.
Also- I haven't been tested ONCE in, or out of, competition! This is more than suspicious. I don't know how I even slept last night or looked at myself in the mirror this morning (O.K., I didn't really look at *myself*, just the new zit on my chin). I have even admitted in public that I would sleep in an altitude tent if I could afford one. I must be a DRUG CHEAT! Damn. Probably one of those new synthetic blood deals I've been reading about on Letsrun. What a dirty low-down bastard I am.