My friend said he has slept with two of his students after they graduate high school. Is this common?

it's very common. Especially if your friend is a young teacher in his mid20's.

The track coach at the school across town ended up marrying one of his students. We had heard all these rumors that he was messing with a student, then after she graduated that spring they went and got married.

They're still married and have 3 kids. You'd never think there's anything "seedy" about them now.

Not a teacher wrote:

Please mods, don't delete. This is a real issue, and I think we would all like information about it.

My friend, a high school English teacher, has told me he has slept with two of his students after they graduated from high school and were of course of legal age. Technically there is nothing illegal about this, but it just seems really weird to me. I talked to another friend a while back, and she said she slept with one of her teachers the summer after she graduated, so maybe this is common practice? Am I wrong for thinking the teachers are insane? Couldn't they lose their job for this? Do share.

Look, they are out of high school, you are in your 20's a girl who is 18, young, and hot, probably going away to a university, of course you do. It's not like it is longterm and what trouble do you get in? They graduated so they are not apart of the school system anymore and are adults, i see it as being appropriate, of course it can go both ways! There is no good and bad, but if i were him i would just keep it on the DL, and not tell anyone.

I'm not a teacher or anything. But I'm 26 and have slept with a couple 18 y/o's this past year. And it is not positively received by other people my age when they find out. So I keep it to myself. But, I think there's nothing wrong with it. It's a weird slanted view that society has that I don't understand. I mean, I hook up with plenty of people my age and older. But, if they're younger than 21 I get weird reactions.

Victorious88 wrote:

I'm not a teacher or anything. But I'm 26 and have slept with a couple 18 y/o's this past year. And it is not positively received by other people my age when they find out. So I keep it to myself. But, I think there's nothing wrong with it. It's a weird slanted view that society has that I don't understand. I mean, I hook up with plenty of people my age and older. But, if they're younger than 21 I get weird reactions.

I think it's because 18 is just 1 year older than being a minor. You don't just flip a switch on your 18th birthday and suddenly become an emotionally mature adult. Most 18-year-olds still live at home. The reason getting with a former one of your high school students is "morally incorrect" is that the relationship beforehand was a position of authority. Add that to the age thing and most will assume you are taking advantage of the girl. Whether or not that is true in your case, it's the majority and society makes assumptions based on majorities.

I think it is morally wrong for a teacher to sleep with a former student. A lot of it has to do with the position of power the teacher was once in. It is not legally wrong, but many schools will find a way to get rid of teachers if they do this and are caught. As a high school teacher, it is hard to me to imagine how anyone would want to sleep with a student. After being around them every day and witnessing firsthand how immature and ridiculous kids are today, even at 18, I usually just want to go home and drink.

I go out of my way to buy groceries, etc., at stores in a separate town from where I teach. I prefer to keep my private and work lives separate, but there are some weird people out there, and I think inappropriate teacher/student relationships are far too common.

Not a teacher wrote:

Please mods, don't delete. This is a real issue, and I think we would all like information about it.

My friend, a high school English teacher, has told me he has slept with two of his students after they graduated from high school and were of course of legal age. Technically there is nothing illegal about this, but it just seems really weird to me. I talked to another friend a while back, and she said she slept with one of her teachers the summer after she graduated, so maybe this is common practice? Am I wrong for thinking the teachers are insane? Couldn't they lose their job for this? Do share.

What could possibly go wrong?

The teen triggerman in the sensational Pamela Smart murder case was granted parole Thursday, his first chance for freedom after 25 years in prison.William "Billy' Flynn, who turned 41 on Thursday, could be freed as soon as June 4, the New Hampshire Adult Parole Board ruled.

Flynn was Smart's 16-year-old lover when he shot her husband, Gregory, in the head in 1990. Smart was 22 and a teacher at Flynn's school, Winnacunnet High in Hampton, N.H.

Prosecutors said Smart seduced Flynn and threatened to stop having sex with him unless he committed the murder. Flynn said Smart feared she would lose her dog and other items in a divorce. Flynn and three friends carried out the plot; two have already been released from prison and the third is eligible for parole this year.

Not black or white wrote:

Morally, this is not black or white- you will not get a unified answer. It seems morally incorrect to me, but not as morally incorrect as if they were still students.

Morality is a scale, not always a yes or no.

ah, moral relativism - the most immoral concept of our day..

I pretty much agree with this.

That said, I'll own up to sleeping with a former student. Though, it was years after I quit teaching, in a different city, and she had graduated from college.

I'd also say that there's a difference between a teacher who just has a habitual practice of hooking up with students right after they graduate and a teacher who actually falls in love with a former student. The latter is hard for me to imagine, and suspect it's rare, but I'm sure it does happen.

I see what you're saying. But the opposite could be said for a 17 year old girl. There's nothing saying a 17 year old is not mature enough to engage in sexual activity with someone older (other than the law). So the law is the only concrete guideline we have to go by. Therefore, it shouldn't be frowned upon when you hook up with an 18 year old.

It is rare. I worked at a couple of different high schools over about 10 years teaching music (mostly after school stuff). I never ran across it at any school I was at.

There is definitely a big opportunity for high school teachers to have relationships with ex-students. A lot of high school teachers are cut off from the dating scene. Many take jobs in suburban areas with no real night life or singles scene. Some girls in college are very attracted to guys who are out of school and have jobs because of the prospect of a soft landing when they get out of school, both in terms of having a relationship and someone to help pay the bills.

It is probably best for teachers to steer clear of former students until they graduate from college. Any relationship that starts when a former student is in college will always be clouded with suspicion that the relationship started in high school. And just bonking a former student for fun just makes it more difficult to get past the suspicion. Once out of college, fair game.

Look us English teachers have diamond cutters to! Young dudes don't want to share so they want laws and bans.

Grow Up wrote:

I think it's because 18 is just 1 year older than being a minor. You don't just flip a switch on your 18th birthday and suddenly become an emotionally mature adult. Most 18-year-olds still live at home.

Each of these statements is independent of the others. They have nothing to do with each other.

And this statement: "Whether or not that is true in your case, it's the majority and society makes assumptions based on majorities." Is false.

You just made it up. There is no proof that the majority of cases are bad. Society doesn't make assumptions based on majorities. "Society" doesn't exist.

to! < "too!"

Swetterteeter wrote:

Look us English teachers have diamond cutters to! Young dudes don't want to share so they want laws and bans.

Joe Carrol wrote: You have to remember, many of these teachers that married a former student were 21 or 22 as a first or second year teacher, and the female student was 17 or 18 when graduating. Come back together in 3 or 4 years, and he's 25, she's 22. What's wrong with that? Chemistry is chemistry.

^ This is the most reasonable response in this entire thread.

Presuming there was no inappropriate teacher-student relationship prior to the former student's graduation, and provided the former student is now of legal age to consent, then the "former student" status is completely irrelevant. Only self-righteous, extremist conservatives and outright moralists would take issue with this. Mature, reasonable, independent thinkers wouldn't give this a second thought.

If you bang a former student, you know she's not going to shut up about it, she's going to tell all her friends and then the next thing you know, you're the teacher who likes young girls and nobody takes you seriously anymore.

A Teacher wrote:

If you bang a former student, you know she's not going to shut up about it, she's going to tell all her friends and then the next thing you know, you're the teacher who likes young girls and nobody takes you seriously anymore.

Depends on the circumstances. Teacher is now 28. Former student is now 23. She's really going to let loose with a public announcement about her sex life? Even still it shouldn't matter at that point in their lives.

So what do you think about Mark Whetmore, then?

adsfdddsss wrote: So what do you think about Mark Whetmore, then?

Who is Mark Whetmore? Is he the coach of the Cholorado Bhuffaloes?

yhes he ihs. Nhow answher the quhestion.